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Liberate Yourself from Emotional Suffering

 By GuruMeher Singh

August 21, 2012

Life can be painful, but there is no challenge that you are not perfectly designed to handle. You have a built-in system of sensitivity and self-correction; do you use it or simply continue to suffer?

Suffering has many forms and sources. You may feel anxious about how things will go and inadequate to handle them. You may have lost something you loved. You may not know how to get what you need and feeling powerless.  You may have made a mess of things and feel bad about yourself and the consequences. You might be mad and not know why or what to do about it. You may have been hurt, shocked, betrayed or abused. These events last only moments, but the thoughts and feelings they create may linger and haunt, and make today a living hell. The younger or more unprepared you were, the larger the impact.

Life brings events and the body brings pain that you can’t always control, but suffering comes from inside, from what you think and feel about what is happening to you. But know this: within the pain always lies the cure. The very emotions that seem to torture you are they key to ending your suffering. Emotions are meant to serve you, to bring you to peace.

This seems very unlikely compared to how you may have come to know your feelings. They can be extremely uncomfortable, even debilitating. They take over like some alien and lead you around like a slave; they pull you down like quicksand into instability and darkness. They get you into trouble, make you look stupid, weak, “emotional”. They ruin relationships in an instant or slowly over time. They can change rapidly and unreliably taking you up and down like a rollercoaster. Or they can become stuck and unrelenting for days, years, a lifetime. How can this be good? Any powerful thing can be used for good or misused for harm. We simply lack good training. And that starts with better understanding.

Emotions hurt to demand your attention to a problem. They will not be denied their vital work to help you. They disturb your world and shake things up so change and correction may come. They are like wild horses until you harness their mighty energies. They are immediately responsive in the moment to changing conditions. And they never quit until you wake up, respond, and receive their intended benefits. This is why ignoring your emotions doesn’t work. When you try they wait beneath the surface of your awareness to find an indirect (and ineffective) way out that causes even more trouble, or they gather energy until they overwhelm your resistance. Numbing yourself to feelings leaves unsolved the problem they arose to correct, making you more defenseless on the one hand and unable to feel the rich world of positive emotions on the other.

No, blocking and discounting emotions makes no more sense than killing the nerves in your foot when there’s a sharp rock in your shoe. This analogy is quite helpful. Your sense of touch lets you feel when something is harming the body. Pain brings your attention to locate the harm, and goes away when you take care of it. Emotional feelings, so named with good reason, sense when something’s not right in your life. The healthy response is to trace the pain to the source of harm, find what will make it right, and do that so you feel better. When body and mind are free from harm we thrive and expand to full potential of the human spirit. Emotions work to free us from the most mundane to the most existential human limitations. They are the Senses of the Soul; made to bring you well-being on all levels. You are designed to sense –to feel- when something is not best for you, to understand what it is, and have that lead you to clarity of what is right, what you need, and what needs to happen to reach peace.

This sensory system is easy to use. After the disinformation and misuse we all grew up with, a few key ideas and some practice are al that is needed. Start with the idea that emotions are your friends; if you are feeling something, there is a job to do. Simply ask your emotions what is wrong and what they want. With these two guidelines you can do it all. You can use your Senses of the Soul to achieve Emotional Liberation. Emotional Liberation is not about being free of emotions, but to use them consciously to be free of suffering. The vast and intense inner world that defines whether you suffer or thrive is yours to control and master.  But with emotions, we control by allowing them.

In order to hear the messages of what you need, you have to listen, and that means to fully feel whatever you are feeling. That can be daunting when emotions rage and seem to control you. It’s best to start with as many of the following conditions as possible. Increase available energy with exercise, yoga, breath work, or whatever you can do to feel as strong as possible. Maximize your clarity and calmness: choose a time when you are less upset and/or after meditation. With increased conscious awareness you are not just in the emotion but can observe it. Finally, some guidance is helpful when exploring any new territory. A person, book, or recording to take you through the process the first few times will assure you and facilitate the process. In short, the process is: conscious observation, careful listening, questioning, and then using the information gained to make change. Expect immediate relief AND allow reasonable time to clear up unattended issues and establish new habits.

If you are facing current difficulty, live with nagging emotions, are healing from earlier trauma, have become numb to pain and joy, or want to teach and heal others, learn to use your Senses of the Soul. They will free you from suffering and then bring you all the good feelings that are your natural preference: gratitude, trust, peace, joy and love. That is Emotional Liberation.

 

To see GuruMeher's incredible courses called "Emotion: SOS--Senses of the Soul", please go to www.SoulAnswer.com/emotion_sos.html 

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Climbing Out of My Emotional Prison

 September 13, 2011

The following is the story of one of GuruMeher Singh's students who completed the full 3 courses of "Emotion: SOS!" (formerly "Emotional Liberation).  What an incredibly transforming experience it has been for so very, many enthusiastic folks!  

 

Emotions are your Friends!

I know you may not agree with that, but admit that you can’t get rid of them, they just keep coming back. So it would be worth a try to work with them and get along. Here’s a story from Marcie who found this to be true.

“I always considered myself too emotional and that was a weakness. All my anger and fear felt awful and I felt those two a lot! I was stuck in the same situation with my business partner. I disagreed with her way of doing things but I wouldn’t speak up. Things wouldn’t get done. We made some peace by just doing our own areas and not talking. I was mad at her, but we never worked things out. Customers felt this and business suffered. The worst was the stress of all those feelings.

The big “aha!” that changed everything was to think of them not as bad and weak, but as the Senses of the Soul. That honored title meant they must have a purpose, and that I am okay to have them. Rather than thinking I shouldn’t be angry, I began to just accept myself and the feelings whenever I felt mad. That took off the guilt and shame right away.  As I allowed myself to feel anger, it wasn’t so scary like I might hurt someone.  I could listen to the feelings like a new language in my body.  That voice told me I needed to take action, and it sure gave me the energy to overcome all my fears that had always stopped me from doing things.

So I started speaking up, saying what didn’t work for me, making requests.  I didn’t even have to sound angry or be mean, just ask! When I did, things got better and the anger went way down.  Then I’d get scared, knowing I needed to do something but didn’t.  I’d get more upset.  I found that unless I listen and act on my anger I get more upset.

I now see anger as an internal protector, letting me know when something’s not right and urging a change.  It was hard to change those old habits. What I most needed to do, I was most afraid to do.  I guess that’s why I was frozen for so long.  With some supportive encouragement and yoga for energy and clarity – and a lot of time in trial and error – I made solid changes in how I communicate, set boundaries, and knowing what works for me. 

I still feel a flood go through me when I’m mad.  Uncomfortable?  Yes.  But instead of ignoring, avoiding, or stuffing it, I know it’s a sign that something needs to happen.  I’ve learned with the help of meditation to make conscious constructive choices. It feels good to just blast and yell, but that never had a good outcome.  Just like my grandmother used to tell me to count to 10 before I speak, I process what is best for me before I act.  I think of myself as sensitive rather than emotional.  It’s a whole other way to communicate with myself.

By allowing the feelings and dealing with their purposes, I feel them less often.  I spend a lot more time feeling good.  I remember thinking I wasn’t very spiritual to have so many feelings, but now I understand theses Senses of the Soul.  They bring me through harm over to peace, so I can feel my Soul.  This all took some time to change, of course.  Now it’s pretty automatic and gets ever more efficient and subtle. So I do recommend you befriend your feelings.”

 

 Copyright GuruMeher Singh Khalsa, SoulAnswer.com, 2011

You may reproduce this article online and in print as long as you keep this copyright large and readable, and include this link: www.SoulAnswer.com/emotion_sos.html 

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 Gain Emotional Control by Allowing!

Emotions: The indispensible gift of our most difficult feelings

By GuruMeher Singh

April 5, 2011

 

Your feelings, you can’t live with them, and you surely can’t live without them. When anxiety and worried thoughts wear you out, when depression heavily suffocates the joy out of life, or anger makes an enemy of everything, you’d give anything to banish these torturous feelings. Furthermore you’re told they are bad or wrong to be feeling. And finally, they create further problems when they improperly influence decisions and actions.

But you can’t live without them because the mind constantly generates thousands of thoughts, and each thought creates a feeling. More importantly, emotions bring detailed information about what is harming you, what you need, and what to do about it. This constant guidance toward ever increasing happiness and well-being is their purpose. They are the Senses of the Soul, they know what you need at both the most immediate and deepest levels. Just as your 5 senses guide you through the world to find the resources you need to live, emotions steer you away from harm and toward peace.

So why aren’t they working better for you? Simple: lack of skill and training! 

When you were a baby you had hunger and all that you would need to feed yourself: a mouth, hands and food. But you couldn’t get the food into your mouth without help until you were instructed developed the ability. Humans have simply not learned to use this marvelous sensory equipment beyond reacting to pleasure and pain.  But your foolproof guidance system comes fully loaded and ready for you to operate.

First let’s identify the two ways emotions are misused. The first is disuse: we distrust feelings as a nuisance, ignore, deny, distract ourselves from them, or override them. The opposite form of misuse: we act out upon the raw data of emotion without any filters: attacking when angry, or believing and cowering from every fearful thought. Correct and skillful use lies somewhere in between. We can control emotions by allowing them to work, under the watchful eye of our conscious intelligence. Try this new approach with the following exercise.

1- Start your re-training with a shift in perception: approach your emotions as honorable messengers of the Soul, and your thoughts as powerful tools to serve those messages, all leading what is best for you.

2- Start when you feel sufficiently strong and clear, such as after resting, doing yoga and meditating, or exercising. It’s difficult to learn to swim in rough seas, so don’t start when you are upset unless you have some trained support.

3- Next begins conscious and careful listening. Simply sit still in a quiet place, breath slowly and deeply for a few minutes, while feeling the stabilizing sensations of your breath and body. Observe your thoughts and feelings with curious interest as if a watching someone else’s, or like watching a movie. Watch thoughts without having to believe and follow them, and allow yourself to fully feel any emotions. In this way even difficult emotions begin to feel safer. A flood of intensity may come, but if you stay firmly observing, it’s like slowly settling into a hot bath, you adjust and find you can handle it; being comfortable with the discomfort increases. You’ll feel some relief.

4- Now you are in a position to listen more closely to the danger, harm, loss, or desire your emotions are signaling, and to the solutions direct from your Soul.

This sophisticated process is as easy to learn as it is natural. The results will be for the highest good and always lead to greater peace and happiness for all in the long term. Your emotions are very powerful. The energy in the electrical outlet is dangerous only when used improperly, but helps us everyday when used as intended.  So use safe guidance as you learn the precious gift of your feelings. Then you can enjoy the richness, depth, and guidance that emotions bring to life while moving us forward to ever greater peace and bliss.

 

Check out GuruMeher Singh's Emotional Liberation series!

www.SoulAnswer.com/emotional_healing.html

 

Copyright GuruMeher Singh Khalsa, 2011, www.SoulAnswer.com

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