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The Fallacy of Fantasy  

By Hari Jiwan Singh,  2-25-14


Sat Nam Dear Family,

Europe was always fun. Every time I went I felt like I was in a giant Disneyworld. Nothing bad could happen there. That is, until I had my wallet stolen in France. That was no fun, let me tell you. . Based on the aforesaid, the conclusion to be drawn could be: Disneyworld must be bad because it creates a fantasy world where there is no stress and this is a false reality.  I am getting ahead of myself here. Life always has its challenges, even in Disneyland, even on holiday in Europe! As a side bar, we all need ways to reduce our stress or take a break from it so that we can be more relaxed to deal with our challenges. And what separates people is how they deal with life’s challenges. But the point of this story is about our tendency to create and try to live our perpetual fantasies.

The Siri Singh Sahib, Yogi Bhajan, was the ultimate “fantasy buster”. He used to say that he was a garbage collector, collecting all his students’ garbage. And, he did. He dealt with all our neuroses, personally and collectively. Not everyone dealt with him on decision making issues, but for those who did, the cost of his participation was the Master’s right to “fantasy bust” any neurosis we dreamt of as our salvation. He broke up fairy tale after fairy tale romance and kept us focused on reality as he saw it through the eyes of Guru Ram Das.

It was 1990 in Germany and the Master was relaxing after his class on this cool spring evening.  As was the custom, student after student began gathering around his chair. Everyone wanted what the Master had and being around him might just lead to some of “it” rubbing off; actually, not a bad strategy. He would talk and those gathered around would listen intently. There were even translators for those who didn’t speak English.

When things began to wind down, a girl from Italy asked to speak to him privately. He said, “Please, darling, walk up to me and whisper what was so important.” I was sitting right next to him so I could hear every word she said. In her Italian accent she said, “Sir, I need a husband to take care of me. I promise to love and serve him, but I need someone to take care of me and my child.”

“Sweetheart,” the Master interrupted. “Are you asking me what I think you should do, or are you telling me what must happen?” Well, that caught her by surprise. So now she had to first answer his question, a question which would alert the Master as to how to respond. “This is what I would like.” She answered.

“So, what you’re telling me is that your whole security is based on some man providing for you. Is that correct?” Smartly, she didn’t offer a response. The Master continued, “If that’s what you’re looking for, even if you find this man, the odds of becoming secure are slim, to say the least. You’re looking in the wrong direction. You’re security lies within yourself and should never give it away to anyone else to try and satisfy. There’s only one who cares more for you and whom you can count on more than you do yourself and that’s Guru Ram Das, the creator of miracles. If you lean on him then He will provide more than any man could ever think of.”

“Yes sir,” she stated, “but, for right now, I need a good man.” Did you hear what I said to you,” the Master queried rhetorically.  “A man is not the answer.” “Yes, but how do I just rely on God. It hasn’t worked before,” she countered. “Before you had a choice, now you don’t. It will work. You must believe in Him and not allow yourself to waiver in this consciousness. If you do this you will reap much bigger rewards! An earthy relationship is ephemeral. What you get from God and Guru is so much more. Why settle for less!  When you live in service to that way of thinking, everything shall be provided for you and provided beyond your estimation.”

He continued, “I promise you that if you drop this thinking that some man is going to save you and look within yourself to find service to God as your goal, not only will you have security, but you will become fearless as well.” Not bad, two for the price of one. “A man may be in the equation, but on the right terms, not by being needy. I want you to build this kind of security inside you.” Her body language told it all. As he finished speaking, she recoiled like the Incredible Shrinking Man. She appeared to be both shattered and rejuvenated at the same time. ‘What do you mean I don’t need a man? That what I deserve and that’s what I dream of,’ I could hear her saying to herself. Then like Tevye in the play Fiddler on the Roof she thought, ‘But, on the other hand!’ She now realized that there was a way out from her limited thinking and this would allow her much more which is what she really wanted. She was now relaxed and happy. I could tell.

There are many “fantasy busters” in the world. They come in all different sizes, shapes, and forms. Some, though, not only bust fantasies, but dreams and reality as well. They do it to shatter someone else in order to verify and promote their own fantasy. Our beloved teacher did it only to help others by offering sound teachings of elevation.  Through his method, you were blessed to get more than you bargained for, more than your fantasy would allow. The Master offered the correct advice, revealing the limitedness of your fantasy, especially in comparison to the vastness of what you could give yourself by Guru’s grace. Stay tuned

In the Humility of Service and Gratitude,

MSS Hari Jiwan Singh Khalsa

Chief of Protocol


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By Hari Jiwan Singh, Nov. 6, 2012

Used with permission.  To regularly get these stories, e-mail him at

Sat Nam Dear Family,

“Intimidation or supplication, you can get what you want either way,” the Master said one afternoon in September of 1993 as we were sitting at the ranch pool house. The Pool house is the center piece in a series of buildings. The buildings are structured in a U shape opening to a coyote fence (spruce-fern latillas) which separates the pool area from the orchard. It’s a very peaceful environment.

During the summers when we were in New Mexico, we used to have lunch there almost every afternoon. The Master would often entertain various guests most of whom were Santa Feans with some spiritual bent. It was always interesting. Others he hosted were business people, neighbors or political personalities. You name it. He hosted them all. By this time in his life, our Master had built a reputation which had spread far and wide. All sorts of people wanted to meet him for all sorts of reasons. So, we were greatly entertained, educated, and elevated without having to turn on the T.V. or drive to the movies. It was quite a show. I got to see how he dealt with a variety of people. He often said that a Teacher must be flexible in his/her communication to suit the situation. He treated all with respect and taught them all in the process.

They came with all kinds of ideas of who we were and who he was. The questions they asked bridged the full gamut of consciousness. Some came with the basest ideas in the world. Others came with an elevated base. It didn’t matter to our Master. He didn’t discriminate. Please remember, the Master was affected by his environment but that never stopped him from serving all who requested his help, not just his committed students. So his guests weren’t necessarily for his comfort, they were his duty as well.  This is how he lived his commitment to serving all who came to him; he went wherever his duty called. He lived the Guru’s Teachings. I saw him do this as an elevated man, a Yogi, a Teacher, a Sikh leader, and, always as our loving father. What’s not to like?

On this occasion, his guests seemed perplexed by his statement. I could see them stare at one another sitting across the beautiful dining table. And let me add here that although we are a spiritual family who wear all white, we are well grounded and we are colorful.  This dining room said it all with its antique carved Afghanistan door recreated with a glass top to fit the table motif.  Our Master loved to support his many friends wherever he lived or travelled. Our friend in Santa Fe who created, produced and sold this style of furniture had helped decorate this room in true eclectic Southwest style. All the accompanying chairs and couches were composed out of oriental carpets which were colorful and heavy in design. A statement, as always, was being made.

Finally, one of our guests said, “I don’t really understand what you mean by your statement, intimidation or supplication?” The Master looked up from his desert of wild berries with a smile on his face. Now, he could teach. He was being called to teach. This is when he was happiest. He began,” first, let me say that I make no judgments as to which road to travel, I can only give you the benefit of my experience.”

 Wow, I thought to myself, he’s really teaching them directly. He’s not telling them what to do. He’s using his experience to teach. This isn’t usually how he talks to us. He’s laying it all out for them to understand who he is. “I’ve lived in both worlds: the life of intimidation and the life of supplication. For me, supplication is better. You don’t know me. I wasn’t always the person you see in front of you. I don’t talk about it much because it’s not how I normally teach. The world can be possessed by either intimidation or supplication. Of course, supplication, prayer,  is much rarer. Intimidation works. Since time began, there have been many who have conquered their environments. It’s a hard way to roll and it usually takes a heavy toll (he loved rhymes). To conquer means to chase after things, to hassle, hustle and fight. That’s normally how this world works. But, for me, there was an antidote. When life becomes a constant prayer in service to the truth, no matter what form that truth comes in, there is no chasing. You just sit, wait and see what comes to you, what God brings your way. There is no worry; there is no doubt. Your words become a prayer which must come true. Your God, your Guru must come through. You’ve put yourself at risk by surrendering to the truth, serving that truth, and verifying it’s reality in that service. Those who live in supplication are few and far between, but it’s worth it. You remember Gandhi. He was probably the last great world leader who led by supplication. He was also one of the best ever. He will always be remembered. He changed the world powers through supplication, through prayer. He surrendered to it. He was it. That’s how he lived and that’s how he died.”

I was in awe as he spoke. This was a different Yogi, a different Sikh, a different human. I saw the power of prayer as he was describing it. It was our Master’s life. He was always my calming force and he was always right. Things would be O.K. so long as I was with him. Our Master continued, “Gandhi’s life was a constant prayer. This is the ultimate power. Those who fake it sometimes make it. However, they are not the norm. Most are intimidators and that’s all they want to be.  However, all intimidators fall short in the face of a man of true supplication. The buck stops here. ”

Now, heads were nodding. His message was getting across. I thought to myself,” Here he’s teaching a concept to non-students that even few students get and, yet, they were getting it. Why? When I dug deeper I was humbled once again and so grateful to be in the vastness of our Master.  He was always opening his door to all who wanted to learn, not just to his committed students. So for me that day I was given at least two treasures. Firstly he gave us the revolutionary concept that life is conquered truly only by supplication. Secondly he modeled generosity and non-judgment. I saw how spiritual ego can get in the way of one’s growth by judging who “gets it” or not; by thinking that you’re better than the rest because you think you “get it.” It doesn’t work that way. This lunch taught me that great lesson too. Consciousness comes in all sizes shapes and forms and is not a Sikh or a Yogic monopoly. Remain open and enjoy the universe. I loved these lunches.  Stay tuned,

In the Humility of Service and Gratitude,

MSS Hari Jiwan Singh Khalsa