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Hanky-Panky Cover-Up

May 3, 2016


A nasty but very ancient social phenomenon has come front and center to my attention!

That is the cover-up strategy that is habitually employed when one member of a family, or church, or community of some kind is abused by another member—such as a young, innocent girl sexually abused by her brother, father or uncle.

The community can’t bear any disruption to their glossy coating, so they hold the torrid tale under wraps.  This allows the perpetrator to go scot-free, not exposed for the lout that they are and not given the opportunity or guidance for remediation, not put in jail or any other kind of container so that they may not continue doing their dirty work, thus ruining the lives of innocents.  This aversion to dealing the Truth also insures that these inhuman practices will remain as an active habit in the family or community consciousness for generations.

Meanwhile the victim is not supported, only hushed which totally breaks down their own foundation of self-worth and self-love when nobody actually cares about what happened to them.  They may live a tormented life of self-hate, corrupting insecurity perhaps leading to self-medicating their pain with drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., unworthiness, constant and abiding anger, fear, never feeling safe, taking on responsibility and guilt for their attack, and so on.

If the situation does become exposed, then the custom appears that all “forgive” the perpetrator for the sake of pushing it all under the rug so that no one actually has to deal with the horror of the situation, and all can go on pretending that they are a happy and loving group.

 Now this can happen with yoga teachers or ministers masquerading as masters or mentors that require or welcome sexual favors or relationships, or claim inordinate sums of money for the “divine one,” who according to Yogi Bhajan will become a cockroach in their next life.  That is the karmic cycle for a fallen teacher or minister who dupes those under their care.

Other abusive situations can occur, such as in an orthodox religion or community where a wife may be beaten, harassed, threatened, etc., but the only support that their community gives them is to stay in the marriage and endure the ugliness so the communal boat will not have to deal with its black underside of intolerance and non-support for those innocents who truly need it. It is the victims who are blamed and shunned, not the perpetrator.  Go figure. 

And the same goes for the gossip mongering that can occur in a community where a member is ostracized due to the jealousy of the primary gossipers and the weak-kneed (banana-spine, as Yogi Bhajan called it) of the followers/believers of gossip who do not do their own investigation.  This, too is community or family abuse.

Instead, the Truth must be found in every one of these situations plus others of similar circumstances.  A Conscious person must investigate and understand the Truth of what has happened.  Then stand up for that Truth.  This may take some bursting of the “everything is fine” paradigm where there might be some backlash.  So, please oh please listen to Soul as true your guide.  Then the perpetrators must be dealt with appropriately so they never create that mayhem again.  You may or may not have to make a big deal—depending on the situation.  And most importantly, the victim needs to be supported, cared for and healed from the awful injuries that have been inflicted.

It may not be an easy task to take on this challenge to individual and community “sweeping the dirt under the rug.”  But if we are to progress as humans, as we love and support those who need it, and eradicate the horrors of some human relationships, we must stand for and act on the Truth—with the help of the great God/Soul who put us here.

Now, here is what Yogi Bhajan had to say about this outrageous mind set.  I found it in the fairly new book on “The Chakras” as taught by Yogi Bhajan, KRI, 2012, p. 11.  Used with permission.

“People do so many things to create status and do so many things to be known: yet nobody today knows how to live.  Everybody is pursuing their hidden agenda, and keeping the surface calm.  There is no worst lie than that, and mind you the other person knows it.  A husband knows why his wife didn’t come home when he asks the question, but in two minutes there will be fight.  What if she has a reasonable reason, an explanation that will be sufficient?  But no, everybody covers the hanky-panky—the husband covers the hanky-panky from his wife, the wife covers the hanky-panky from her husband, the teacher covers the hanky-panky from his or her students, the student covers the hanky-panky from the teacher, parents cover their hanky-panky from the children, children cover their hanky-panky from the parents, and it goes on.  We want harmony, smoothness, peace, tranquility, and ecstasy, but these are frauds, not words; you can’t get them.  There is no element on which you can base your self, there is no power in you, only the higher Self.  Imagine you are on an elevator.  You can go up to the sixteenth story simply by pressing a button. Every psyche of a human individual has to have an elevator:  It is called the higher Self.”

And I would call Soul this higher Self!

Now, my Dear.  Can you think of how this impacts you?

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


Copyright  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa,, 2016

You have my permission to re-publish this article, either online or in print as long as you keep this copyright large and close to the article. 


 Transform Now!
March 27, 2012

Are you and those you know and love moving through dark places right now?  Are your people and animals passing from this Earth?  Two hospitals that I know of are unusually overcrowded.

The pressure of moving more and more into this Aquarian time is so great!  We are definitely moving into the Unknown Place that we are discovering within ourselves, with others and with the magical action of synchronicity directed by the Universal.

Whatever has not been solved in your life is up for you.  It means squashing the old—that is shattering old systems, old ways of seeing and believing, challenging whatever you thought gave you security, changing relationships, institutions, and so much more.  Now is the “pedal to the metal” speeding into the Aquarian energies that will not let us linger in those behaviors that no longer serve us or the greatest good that we could be accomplishing if we just transformed, changed, restructured, dark to Light kind of thing!

Transform?  Surrender?

You got it!  Those very intense restructuring energies will lead us to chaos if we try to hang on tight to what we thought that we had before.  It is a most marvelous time, leading us more into what I call “52 pickup.”  That is when someone throws your whole deck of cards up in the air so they fall completely scattered on the floor.  And then you get to pick up the whole pile.  But as you pick them up, you re-order them in creative new arrangements that are not sticky, but clear and free. 

That is you have gained so much experience and knowledge over time, but the old habits of organizing ourselves, our fears, our short sightedness, our grief, shame, anger and more work against our expansion, our freedom in using our talents and love.  But our Souls, our Divine Sources are “finding” karmic ways to throw apart the old unworkable ways.

So, if you find yourself faced with fear, sickness, pain and being disheveled from the inside out, take heart!  This is the greatest opportunity ever.  This is the absolute Truth, Dear One. 

Regard this as a great and wonderful challenge—kind of like one of those reality shows in which you are given an incredible task to work through.  The reason is that as you heal, restructure, allow new and much more open points of view and free up your psyche, those samskaras (the energetic “digital” material that is lodged in you, and which is triggered to repeat your self-defeating outlooks, judgments, and emotional patterns), you actually restructure yourself in amazing ways.  That is when you reap the “gems and the jewels” of your own transformation.  That is when you move more and more into your own Destiny—that is your own unique path in partnership with your Soul. 


So, of course the way that you effect that change is with your sadhana (daily spiritual practice that can’t be overemphasized), your mantras and kriyas, and with choosing to listen ever so closely to Soul—your own Divinity for Its most intimate guidance ( .

Despair and desperation are only a point of view.  Treat them as a game, or an ancient text to be deciphered within you.  This transforming process is the “magic key” that takes you to what you really seek, and that is pure and total comfort in BEING the Real You.  That is not what someone else told you, or what the culture expects from you.  It is being kind, content expansive and satisfied in your own unique Being.  That is being fully at home in your own skin and serving in your own unique way! 

So, Dear One, the challenge may be great, but work it, relax with it, move it as we have said and value the tremendous opportunities that are coming your way!  Raise your energy to the Aquarian Dimension which is the “space of your Soul,” a very real vibrational experience.  It is what you feel after a Kundalini Yoga class.  It is the reality of You!  Celebrate the Real You that is present all the time, you just may have to rip off the covers a bit, but be assured that You are waiting to be discovered.

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Khalsa, , 2012

You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and readable.  


Living Out Your Parents’ Dramas?

April 26, 2016 & September 6, 2011

Even though a woman and her family have long established jobs, schools, and family where they have been living for decades, she forcefully encourages her husband to take another job half the country away, even though it doesn’t pay very well.  In that new place, they wouldn’t be culturally accepted—ever, unless they changed their religion.  They would leave their dear ones behind and have to start all over again.  And yet she is adamant that they do this!

Turns out, when she was a child, her father did find a job half a country away.  The whole family had to leave their friends, schools and neighborhood.  Being uprooted was evidently traumatic for her, yet it lived in her subconscious as a story that would blossom into her own reality when her children reached the age that she had been when her family followed her dad to their new location. 

That experience remained as a kind of time bomb laid in her psyche that compelled her to repeat that trauma, not realizing until the last moment what the source of that compulsion was.  Luckily, just in the nick of time she recognized that she was trying to repeat that really difficult scenario in her family’s life.   Once she got it, she could relax and her family could happily stay put.

Another woman, after 15 years of marriage suddenly found her married life intolerable.  There didn’t seem to be any big changes in her relationship with her husband, but she developed such a mistrust of him, such a dread to be in his presence that she demanded a divorce.

Guess what?  After her parents had been married for about the same length of time, her father started having affairs, and her parents were divorced, leaving her estranged from her father. 

Are you seeing a pattern here?

These are not uncommon incidents.

Even though we may consciously hate the lives that our parents lived, an inclination to have the same dramas unfold in our own lives somehow seems to pop up and get lived through us—without us even seeing that!  We seem to adhere to those traumatic events, even though they have may be been horrific for us.  They become the unseen script that compulsively plays out in our own life when we approach a similar time in our life.

Believe me, that most traumatic Irish potato famine is still being played out in so many people’s lives—not necessarily as starving for food, but as dire poverty even though a person currently seems to have access to prosperity in their life.  Or it may show itself as a huge sense of personal non-deserving or depression.  It has come down through the generations.

When Yogi Bhajan said that as we liberate ourselves, we liberate seven generations before us and seven generations after us, he was not kidding. 

Imagine healing all of those strings to those subconscious scenarios of not only our parents, but 6 more generations of ancestors!  That is 508 people—half mothers and half fathers. 

Of course there can be so many benefits in that heritage that can provide a truly rich texture to our lives, and give us great foundations.  But as we know, we can also inherit some really difficult subconscious calls to action as well. At Summer Solstice a number of years ago, Yogi Bhajan looked around the Tantric shelter to spot an uncountable number of spirits of our ancestors who had followed us there to be healed and liberated.

So, it appears that our next step is to become really conscious of what compels us to do what we do.  Look deeply into your psyche during your sadhana (daily spiritual practice) to find the roots of what may be drawing you in haywire directions.  Listen for the answers.

You may not understand the exact situations that your forebears suffered, but you can use these great yogic technologies to loosen and heal those very real scripts within your own life.  That is how you heal yourself and actually heal your ancestors.

Yikes!  What a process!  But what else are we going to do? 

In this Aquarian time, we are being asked to be the end of the line for so many dysfunctions that have come down through our family lineage.  How else can we step into peace in this new time?  And imagine the great treasures of peace and contentment we would offer our children and children’s children that flow from us!

And here’s a little secret.  Even though our children may be grown, as we heal that stuff in ourselves, that can also heal those ancestral energetic ties in your children.  That is how relationships work.

It’s time to shed what doesn’t work—no matter how hidden in the subconscious it is, so that we can move freely into this clear, bright Light ahead!  That is certainly worth the effort all ‘round, don’t you suppose?

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur 


Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2016, 2011

You have permission to reproduce this article online or in print as long as you keep this copyright large and readable.



Don’t Be Doomed by Your Back Story.

July 26, 2011

(“Back story” is a term used in movie scripts for a character’s history.  It guides that character’s current actions.)


Did you ever repeat your story of difficulty, challenge, and woe to yourself any number of times?  Over and over?

For instance, do you recount your story of your relationship breakup, the injustice or annoyance of your workplace, that your partner just doesn’t support you in ways that you want, that your parents were hurtful or abusive?  Can you elucidate every detail?

I have found that so many of us tell these stories to ourselves and over and over again as though they are the precious icons of our life, no matter how very painful they are.  And perhaps we tell the same story, but with different characters and innuendoes each time. 

This repetitive process seems to take suffering and all explanations for it not only to a true art form, but to the very point of adoration!  We reinforce our very difficult identity and how it all works, and then we often defend it right and left with our own self-righteousness.

Well, of course Shakespeare, the Greek tragedies and so very, very much of our literature and theater—including movies and TV have done just that.  You really cannot write a worthwhile story without drama.  But living that drama is extremely painful.

But if you actually acknowledge that in fact you are the creator of your universe—that is from both the subtle and overt levels, and that the vibrations that you give out actually attract what comes in, then “Whoa!” 

What are you honestly creating for your life when you simply repeat those dark, horrifying stories about your life over and over again?  You are very, very powerful, eh?

One can get lots of sympathy and attention for angry and bereft stories of hurt and betrayal for sure!  But the story continues to menace the victim.  And a real dyed-in-the-wool victim can get even more self-defeating satisfaction as they re-paint folks who are trying their best to help them as yet another of their victimizers.  That is part of the victim’s scenario.  Or the victim can call in really villainous victimizers if they are really good at it.  That IS a true art form.  And I have seen this same process be re-created over and over again.  I call it the “Victim Syndrome.”

Now, I am not telling you to change your tune if you don’t want to.  That’s your choice.  We have lots and lots of time in so many lifetimes on this Earth.  So, each difficulty that we prolong goes into our “akashic bin” as yet more “lumps of coal” to be turned into “diamonds” sometime in the future as it is healed.  That is inevitable.  (Yogi Bhajan said that a diamond is a lump of coal that has been transformed by immense pressure and heat for a very long time.) So, nothing is wasted.  I truly do have a great deal of respect for this amazing process of cycling of consciousness.  You can read more at . 

And, believe it or not, I do have huge compassion for all the suffering that folks do go through.  I have seen a sort of unending torrent of it in people’s lives.  But my question to anyone who recognizes their re-telling of these hurtful scenarios is, “Do you want to continue perpetuating that engine which continues to re-create pain in your life?”

Remember, if you do allow your story to change, your identity will change, which can be a scary.  So, simply allowing your story of pain to change takes great courage, conscious awareness, dedication to the tools—sadhana, etc., commitment to ease, and will power.  You certainly do have free will and can employ it.

And because this process occurs with all of us, there is no negative judgment involved here, just an opportunity for growth!

So, here is a list of ways you can ALLOW YOUR HURTFUL STORY TO CHANGE!  It is the path of healing.  Remember, you are holding the space to “allow” the change, not forcing it, or stuffing it.  You never quite know where your healing will take you, or exactly what the outcome will be.  That is why we call this a “process.”  In fact, you are implicitly trusting your God Self, you Soul, Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das, Yogi Bhajan, Baba Siri Chand, Jesus, Mary and so on to guide your way. 

  1. Become aware of your repeating hurtful story with all of its intricacies in a very detached kind of way—as though it is someone else’s story.  Don’t get wrapped up in it again, just observe it so that your mind can immediately identify it when it comes up and starts to take you over.  This is disciplined mental vigilance. 
  2. Honor the process of healing and change without holding onto retribution, vengeance, unrequited love, loss, thirst to cover your insecurities or mend your wounds, etc. before moving forward.  It takes total courage to be NEUTRAL!  But neutrality comes from pure RELAXATION throughout your whole body/mind system—hence doing Kundalini yoga and meditation are excellent!  This is living your true Spiritual Adventure as you simply deal with what comes up as it comes up—no expectations regarding the process or outcome.  That would actually cut off your true flow of transformation!
  3. When the story comes up, don’t allow it to take you over again.  Just sit with it in total neutrality.  Sit with it doing heart breath  or pick any other healing meditative breath or prescribed meditation from , or mantra, or bani (specialized potent prayer).  Maintain your breath and allow the change over time.  Check out .  Your story will probably keep coming up, but allow its grip on you to change.
  4. Forgive the event or situation from you meditative depth, not from your mind.  Dissolve the “etheric cords” to that event or person so that they no longer trigger you!  (Trying to “cut” them never seems to work.)  Remember, this forgiving does not let the other person off the hook of justice. You define your boundaries to protect from further victimization, and otherwise trust true justice to their own karma.  This forgiveness is for you, so that you can free yourself of these repeating bonds of hurt, anger and so on.  You can also forgive yourself for putting yourself in harm’s way, no matter how innocent or unconscious you were.  There was involvement on some cosmic level.  And be sure to allow yourself to be loved by your SELF!
  5. Be grateful for your healing process and watch yourself change as you free yourself.  You will find a new story emerging, or you will just live in the very clear, spontaneous present that is open to every opportunity.  Don’t be surprised if your view of that situation changes so that you become grateful for the wisdom and abilities that you have gained in the transformation/story-changing process.  This is quite a remarkable gift of growth and freedom that you have given youself.

Bless you, Dear One as you continue your journey to transform your “coal to diamonds”!


Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2011

You have permission to reproduce this article as print or online as long as you keep the copyright information large and readable.





BE the Creator!

March 1, 2011


From our last newsletter called “Expectations Will Kill You!” (, directly under this article), I don’t want you to get the impression that we just have to be awash in a sea of non-commitment, no planning, no forward thinking, no completion, irresponsibility, old style hippie hangout “go with the flow.”  (Although going with the flow is really “where it’s at,” but just not in that old style of wandering and “nothing happening.”)

On the contrary, when you sign up to get on Soul’s train whose journey is greased by “no expectations,” you turn to Soul at every moment for what we might call goals, direction, wisdom, total prosperity on all levels, as well as fully experiential, juicy love and support from Soul.  No kidding!

Yes, that is available to you at every moment because Soul is the REAL YOU! 

There is no way to escape the REAL YOU, so you might as well introduce yourself and create the most fabulous relationship possible, which is probably not much like anything you learned in church, but is the very most fulfilling and supportive experience you could ever have—EVER!  See how to meet up with the very real personification of your own Soul at .

So, when you deal with Soul, you are dealing with a very real, fully intelligent energy, even more than your own aura, or the intelligent workings of your own brain or nervous system.  The thing is, Soul is so much greater, more powerful, and knows where you REALLY want to go and what you REALLY need.  Soul sees that some things that we want, really want and hook our expectations to are actually ways we just want to cover our insecurity.  So, you can trust Soul to take you wherever you, in your deepest heart of hearts—beyond conscious expectations want to go. 

Consequently Soul may take you to situations in which you get the great opportunity to loosen the great grip of your insecurity.

 It just takes a flip of the mind to regard those death grips of our tightly held beliefs, our great insecurities to get some observational distance to realize that if we healed that tight, tight undermining “stuff,” then we would be better off.  In that case we can employ any and all the healing technologies that we know—mantra, banis, Kundalini Yoga and meditation, letting all sink into Mother Earth, calling on all the great saints, the help of expert healers and so on.

Now, how about if you regarded your Soul as the CEO of your life?  And whenever you had a question about how to best support yourself, flourish in the most kind and loving relationships, get any job done—no matter how big or small great or mundane, receive help to get through the “junk” of everyday life, you could just ask your CEO for answers that you could really, really trust because over time, you have experienced that if you stay with that direction, everything will work out—although never in ways that you could have anticipated from the outset.

For instance, Soul might say that to monetarily support yourself well, you should shine from your heart, smile and be happy, serve, serve, serve and soften your relationship with money, but hold the feeling of being fully supported, and even softly but powerfully include a specific dollar amount with pure non-attachment.  Soul may also give you a whole outline of what to do, how to do it, whom to meet, what to say, etc. over time.  The way you carry this out is not to choke this direction to death by judging or fearing it or holding it so tightly, but go deeper into the understanding of it, even though you probably won’t ever be able to see the final outcome from the outset. 

Then move the most subtle but powerfully controlling energy of your deeply held blocks that stand in the way.

That might be the “digitized” energy of fear, dread, disbelief, self-sabotage, and so on.  Just BE and relax, relax into letting go of it.  Use your yogic tools to move those defeating energy blocks within yourself. 

Then “HOLD THE SPACE!”   That is to breathe your awareness into a neutral state—not dumb or numb or cut off.  Oh, no.  Move into that neutral state of pure awareness in which your mind is not running here or there or judging, etc.  Breathe deep and slow because that breath and all the pranayams (yogic breath exercises) move your energy.  They increase that flow of creative energy that you can actually feel flowing and expanding in you.

 Allow that intention or direction that Soul gave you to flow as this Light energy.  Don’t fight it or diminish it in any way.  And do your very best to stay in this flow/awareness/meditative mind and breathe as you allow the awareness of Soul’s direction to powerfully flow through you—no holding back, no trying to force it to grow.  Just be totally in your “center,” not trying to get this from somewhere else or go somewhere else.

This, my Dears is the way to work powerfully and completely with the Creative Energies, that is the layer or dimension that is just above what we might call the “hard reality” layer that we normally live in—that is the dimension that we are used to, that we can touch, see, hear along with all the situations that happen.

When you “hold the intention” of Soul’s direction in this way, when you fully relax in the powerful energy of your ever expanding meditative, flowing Self, this is when you can participate with Creation Herself! 

That’s because you are interacting with the unseen creative matrix that brings our “hard reality” into being.  Yes, as humans this is our privilege and our right.  We are always working with that unseen creative dimension to create our reality, usually in most unconscious ways where we make ourselves the victims of our own fears and old programming. 

Why not take the opportunity to fully partner up with Soul, your God Self to:

1.       Finally get the very best goals, direction, etc. for your own best good that may be way beyond your limited mind’s understanding, to finally provide your everyday mind with real satisfaction and happiness!

2.       Participate with the actual subtle creative matrix of flowing, powerful energy to facilitate those situations, abilities, goods and resources into our lives—into our “hard reality”?  After all, it was the great scientist Einstein who let us know that all, everything is energy, and other scientists have seen that pure energy is definitely affected by human consciousness.  As yogis, as humans (hu=Light, man=mind), this is our evolutionary path into this new Aquarian Age!

LISTEN to Soul, then HOLD THE SPACE in pure, powerful neutrality!  That consciousness, fueled by our yogic practices brings us to the realization of our participation as the Creator/Creative.

Try it!  And try it again and again so that you can excel as the Creative Human that you are!  And laugh a lot while you are at it to bring about the creative flow!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


To easily print out this article, please go to .

Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2011.

You have permission to reproduce this article unchanged in print or online as long as you keep the copyright very readable.



Expectations Will Kill You!



When was the last time you felt bad?  When did you feel slighted, or as though things were not working out for you?  When did you feel really low in your prosperity ranking, or really disappointed that what you were expecting didn’t come true?

Actually, that whole “Secret” thing is built on expectations.  I have never seen so very many disheartened people as those who are veterans of “The Secret.”  It’s kind of like wishing on star and expecting your fairy godmother to show up with her magic, sparkly wand to instantly give you exactly what you pine for.  Or the child’s perception that, “If I am good, God/Santa Claus/my parents will give me what I really want;” I expect my “happily ever after!”  They expect that it’s a straight exchange.

Guess what?  You just horn-swaggled yourself.  No such instant exchange exists, dear Ones.  In karmic terms, there is definitely an even exchange, but the exchange could come in any lifetime, so don’t be disappointed if the expected return doesn’t show up in this lifetime.

As humans, it appears that our way of seeing the world, as well as the guidelines of our culture are built on expectations.  For instance, marry and live happily ever after.  Give of yourself and then all will be given to you in equal measure in just the way you want it.  Make a plan, or a goal, and it will all miraculously come true, just the way you visualize it.

But when your expectations don’t come true, are you cast down in the dumps?  When your plans or goals don’t work out the way you intended, do you feel slighted or punished by the world, or by God Him/Herself?  Do you suddenly turn from being greatly hopeful and confident to feeling totally rejected with your self-esteem being thrown overboard, wallowing in a sea of negative self-pity?  When was the last time you yelped, “Why me?  Why now?  After all, I’m a good person.”

If you rely on expectations that de facto flow from your ego or “everyday self,” your life will never, ever make sense.  Whether or not we admit it or not, whether we proclaim ourselves as “spiritual” or not, the course of our lives—that is over lifetimes, is driven by the action of our Souls, our God Selves.

 In fact, on this Earth, we are the Earth-living God who forgot Who we are.  And our whole mission here and now is to unravel that wisdom and that full experience of Who we are again.  That is IT!

Consequently our Soul arranges all of the karmic interludes, all of our comings and goings, all of the kindnesses that come to us, and all of our being smacked around for one purpose only.  That is so that we can finally get so tired of being walloped that we just drop it—that is drop all of our expectations, drop all of our worries, drop the self-punishment, drop the need to manipulate to our own purpose, drop it all! 

When we finally drop those deep traumas caused by our mind’s clinging to our own unfulfilled expectations, we at last have the opportunity to go to neutral, blessed neutral. 

Have you ever had that experience of being totally cried out?  You find neutrality—at last.  That is where we finally can relax and fully listen to Soul, to our God Self.  Once we give up the despair, this new openness is like relaxing in the sunshine of a gorgeous spring day, finally, come what may.  That is when we can finally feel, hear, see, know how Soul is actually guiding us to Its purpose—our most intrinsic purpose for being on this Blue Ball of a planet, which is pure Union with IT—Who we really are!

Oh My God!  That means giving up all kinds of expectations for our lives, which are actually false securities.  When they don’t pan out, which is most of the time, we are left with minor to major pain! 

The remedy is dropping our hard-held expectations, our self-tightening nooses to instead flow purely and intently through and to where Soul leads us, from the very great depth and expansion of our Being!   That means surrendering to the presence and direction from Soul at every minute.

If folks put us down, or we don’t seem to be gaining the monetary abundance that we have set up in our mind as our goal, if our relationships don’t seem to go as swimmingly as we had expected, we realize that Soul has put them in our path for an incredible reason.  And that is to see through the empty promise of security and happiness that our expectations try to hold out to us. 

Holding fast to our expectations is wearing the Emperor’s new clothes.  Expectations provide a worthless mindset that will never cover our insecurities.  Instead they will keep us tied to the non-ending spiral of expectations that we hope will lead us to security and happiness, only to be dashed yet again into shards of hurt, want and lost yearnings.

They cause us to be addicted to the same old patterns that don’t work.  Did you ever see that movie “Groundhog Day”?

Each time we hit the wall of our own expectations, that is actually an extraordinary gift!

Every apparent difficulty is actually an opportunity for our everyday self, our ego, our habituated mind to SWITCH!  That is to let go of the terrors of insecurity and pain that are seemingly being presented to us. That is where we can employ these most incredible tools of Kundalini Yoga and meditation because they can loosen, transform and heal us.  They can deactivate the very real energy of our very old, seemingly never ending internal CDs of needàlossà pain. 

Then as we pry off the death grip of our own insecurity to relax into the great reality of neutrality, of the presence of Soul, we can finally understand how to actually move through the situation with grace and ease—no matter how terrible that event may have seemed previously.  In this transformative experience, we are given a depth of understanding and ability that we could not have gained otherwise.  We can allow ourselves to be fully supported by the love and the great participation in the experience of pure prosperity in ways we never thought of, which could never have been brought about by clinging to our expectations.

The lessons, the course that we walk is actually a continual dance with Soul that we can live at every moment if we choose to.  As we partner up with Soul, and take every chance to drop our own personal expectations, we begin to unearth the great wisdom and security in what Soul has waiting for us.

And that is never what you could have expected!  What comes to us as a result of living, opening, being in pure tandem and ease with Soul—quite a number of us have found that to be the very real experience of what we have really wanted our expectations to provide us all along.  We had just confused the Source of this experience.  Relying on the real, trustworthy Giver entails flowing in the presence of pure, unending love, loss of pain, and the adventure of living the path that Soul lays out for us.

When we don’t block Soul’s course for us with our own rigid expectations, amazing connections are made—synchronicity happens, Soul gets to express Its greatness and abilities through us, and we get to experience Soul’s great Shine and Love for ourselves and others, a most humbling experience.  It appears that we allow miracles to occur.  We no longer have to control situations and people, or get smashed by them.  Pure forgiveness in all quarters, which eradicates our grip on continued suffering, becomes simple and a matter of course.

Simplicity, unbounded love, prosperity, lightness, depth, groundedness, strength, ability beyond our expectations, wisdom and effectiveness seem to flow through us.  And not only that, by setting aside the prison of our own expectations, we can unequivocally trust Soul to reveal the great treasures that are produced in every situation—no matter what.  They are there for us, just for the looking and accepting.  True! 

This is a process, you know, not an overnight accomplished fact.  But it is a process that we can trust every step of the way if we just SWITCH our mind to it.  No more expectations.  Only unrestricted, cozy happiness as we rock in our dance with Soul!


 Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa, , 2011

You have my permission to reproduce this online or in print, as long as you keep the author’s name and copyright very visible!


 Demon to Phoenix

The Process of Self-Healing

By Siri-Gian K. Khalsa 
Sept. 14, 2010

To begin, give yourself permission to take time and attention to heal!

Then appreciate and honor this process of transformation that you are embarking on.  This is the touchstone of human progress here on Earth!  It is the hero’s journey!

Here are the steps:

1.       Sense the problem.  That “problem” is an actual energetic hold on you, like a stinging jelly fish or a giant octopus wrapped around you that ties you up and won’t let go.  It threatens you with annihilation. 

You may feel that this problem or situation is “just too important” or “too impossible”.  For instance, if you are feeling that you don’t have enough money, you feel that it is completely irresponsible to not worry about that shortfall, to not get totally into the panic and the trauma of the expected consequences.  But actually the extreme worry is the real problem.   It keeps your actual creative energy blocked from magnetizing any prosperous flow to you.  And the worry keeps your mind blinded to the point that it can’t see any ways to receive a greater income, even though it may be staring you in the face.  In that panicked, wrapped up, dissociative condition you are like a dog hysterically chasing its tail—going absolutely nowhere, and avoiding all possible remedies.

If you have any addictive inclinations, this is where they attempt to take you over.  Addictions, such as drugs, alcohol, sex, smoking, eating, shopping, and so on are what we use to avoid the pain, “self-medication.”  Be very aware of this and move to the next step as powerfully and wholeheartedly as possible!

2.       Don’t take it personally!  Of course, you are dealing with the very most personal thing there could be—that is portions of your own self-identity—the way you know yourself and the way that you know the world.  This is the way that you have done things over and over again.  It has formed the “order” of your life that may in fact be chaotic.  But it is your own habit.  This is your own personal “operating system”!

So, in this case, it feels irresponsible to not worry about the money, and to impersonally or objectively treat that actual worry as something that has to change.  It takes a kind of separation that perhaps you can’t readily make in your mind.  So you have to recognize the actual fight that is going on within yourself, and just “lash yourself to mast” to hold yourself mentally steady while that storm of entrenched emotions rages within you.  You do that no matter how your mind, your fight or flight reactions, or you panic is smashing you at the moment.  That is “keep up,” and that is courage.

3.       The mast that you lash yourself to is your mantra—“Gobinday, Mukunda…” being my most favorite for this.  Use your strong and daily sadhana—daily spiritual practice.  Look for a kryia or meditation that suits your own predicament such as the ones that you will find at .  But I do want to warn you, instead of picking something that you think will solve your worry, such as in this case choosing the one “to make you a millionaire,” instead choose one that gets at the root of the worry, which might be for “Childhood Anger,” or “Fear Eradication.”  All of these practices have within them an actual sound current code that will loosen that energetic grip of the storm, or the octopus tentacles, and actually neutralize that very powerful thought and emotional energy that plays havoc with your whole being!

4.       Face your “demons” in the process.  That is, especially while you are in that meditative state using your mantra and kriya, don’t force anything.  Just keep up—stay lashed to the mast of your mantra, and let your demons—your worries, misgivings, mistrust, your greatest fears, as well as intense feelings and emotions that seem to have no known cause, let them come up as that storm.  Let them show themselves like a blockbuster 3D horror movie in front of your face.  They might scare the bejeebers out of you.  But remember, you are not taking this personally.  You are watching this on your own screen while you are being held as steady as you can by your mantra/kriya seatbelt.   Do your best to hold your conscious awareness steady so that you don’t dissociate—that is your consciousness doesn’t leave your body, go into chaos, or panic to avoid facing the pain that is coming up like Vesuvius. 

This is the concept of “sitting” with it.  Let the whole drama consciously play out in front of you, or within you.  Remember, this is the very greatest opportunity you can have in life!  That is the opportunity to heal what has plagued you for years or even lifetimes.  And there will be amazing, magical rewards that arise out of your transformation—the proverbial Phoenix. 

So understand that you are in deep relationship with what is stalking you and engaging you in this battle for your Life!  Honor it, even as it terrorizes you.  Make “friends” with it, accept that it has heavy duty power and BE with that, rather than running away.  The more you fight it, the more power you give it.  As you sit with it in the best neutrality and heart breath you can muster, its power dissipates.  Its power clears so that it can finally support you tenfold.

You may even find that these “demons” begin to teach you their origin, your habitual programming with them, how they impact all the rest of your life, your relationships, your tightly held way of operating in the world, and so on.  They may provide a wonder of wisdom for you that will help you get surprising clarity and help you change for the best!

Then to dissipate that storm’s power, it is important to switch your energy in some way.  Try laughing, or doing a “happy dance”, or simply switching your consciousness into that meditative, neutral Center where you FLOW.

Be sure that you are doing long deep breathing , and heart breath .  They really work wonders.  As you sit or exercise—doing powerful yoga, even walking, running, dancing, etc. with the mantra, that will begin to ease the intensity of the octopus grip and the raging storm.  You may have to do this process over and over and over again, but each time that energetic storm abates a bit.  Keep up!  This works!

5.       Forgiveness while in a real meditative condition of the mind will actually dissolve those very real “bungee cords” or etheric cords that attach you to the person who caused you pain or to the pain itself.  Without doing this, those pains continue to whomp back into your face as though attached by a strong bungee cord.  Now, forgiving superficially only brings frustration.  But deeply forgiving the person who initiated your pain, the pain itself, as well as forgiving any part that you may have played in receiving the pain—either in this life or as a karmic set up from another life—doing that from your meditative depths dissolves those elastic ties.  “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Totally true instruction for realizing Freedom!

6.       Some physiological effects that you might experience as you go through this transformation, may be:

a.       Feeling cold

b.      Shaking involuntarily, teeth chattering

c.       Terror or panic

d.      Dissociation—that is “jumping out of your body” so that you are not “home” to experience the pain

e.      Crying or tears streaming without emotionally crying

f.        Anger

g.       Screaming, moaning, whining

h.      Feeling like you are jumping out of your skin

i.         Pain or tightness in a certain area of your body

j.        Hanging on tight—“white knuckled”, flailing (strong physical exercise is great for this), pacing, can’t sit still, tossing and turning in bed

k.       Nightmares

l.         Obsessing, not being able to think straight

m.    Grief, sadness, or “flatness” as in depression.  The reason is that a part of you—even though that part has held you back for so long is “dying” or transforming.  It is “passing away.”

All of these reactions are natural, so don’t get frightened by them.  Just keep up consciously “sitting” with this, or moving powerfully, but always hanging onto your mantra or other spiritual practice.  That is your support and your savior.  Calling on great Spiritual Beings is always a very dependable support as well.  They are always there to help move this process along, and they are very effective at it.  However, if those feelings get too intense and you can’t deal with them anymore, it is important to seek professional help.

7.       Freedom and neutrality are the effects of your transformation process!  Be aware that you have not let go of your “responsibility”, etc. to your situation as discussed earlier.  What actually happens is that you have freed up your energetic system and your mind to actually allow the true remedies to come to you.

a.        First of all, you are free of the pain, the panic, and so on that had you tied up so tightly.

b.      Next, your energetic magnetism has opened and is able now to expand out to attract actual remedies to your difficulties!  True.  Watch for this.

c.       Your mind is free to neutrally consider viable options.

d.      Your Soul or your God Self can now be heard, felt, seen, etc. to lead you to amazing solutions and realizations that had been blocked by the “octopus” or the “storm”.

8.       Now is the time to begin discerning the gifts brought by your transformation!  If you stay in your neutrality—which takes commitment to discipline your mind to not go back into that “octopus/storm” again, and hold your new intentions with pure neutrality, you will find all kinds of opportunities coming to you—either very subtly or right out front! 

You will find that you have developed new ways of seeing the world, new qualities within yourself, perhaps more compassion and more natural strength.  And most probably you will find that you are changing to embody the very opposite of your challenge.  Perhaps in your difficulty was with apparent lack of money.  But now you find that as you hold your neutrality and the power that comes with it, you are prospering!  Or if your difficulty was in creating loving, intimate relationships because you were molested as a child, you find a deep compassion and connection with others—more than you could have had otherwise.  That is the miracle of this healing path!

You can read more about this karmic process at .

9.       Integrating the gifts is the next and most extraordinary step.  Now is the time that you can begin to see the wonder and the sheer adventure in this amazing human process.  You can begin to trust it when the next situation rears up.  You know its magic and its power.

You see how these new gifts are creating a bigger, more capable, more powerful and yet more easy organism that is you.  You can observe that things that perhaps you felt you wanted to accomplish in the past can now move forward without the fear, separation, etc. blocking you anymore.  You see that you can sort of magically move through steps A, B, and C now unimpeded, because that old road block has melted.

You find that you have more compassion for others in that same situation, and that you are able to help them heal and move on.  You become bigger, more down to Earth, more satisfying, more authentic, happy, connected and more prosperous.  Imagine!

And it never could have happened unless you had opted to go for the Self-Healing! 


“A Liberated Person is always a happy person.  He does not lack in any material comfort (meaning he feels no lack, no matter what).  He does not know any power on Earth which can insult him.  He lives in grace in this world and when he leaves the body, he is respected for generations to follow. 

Everyone can be like that.  Yesterday’s sinner (including one who is blocked or “sinned against”) can be a saint (spiritually at ease and connected) this minute!  The only thing required is a decision.  ‘Am I to guard my future and choose to be a liberated person, or am I to block my future and be by the material-physical (energetically blocked or incapacitated) aspect of the world?’”       From 1969.

  Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2010.
You may reproduce the article on another site, blog or in print, as long as you keep the copyright information above very readable.