A Series on Healing the Difficulties of Abuse!
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
How Does This Work Anyway?
April 2, 2019 & December 5, 2006
Just for the “fun”
of it, I was trying to think of anyone who may not have been abused, or who may not have abused others—
meaning involvement in any degree of abuse from perhaps say, being slighted to the extreme of being physically or mentally
tortured either in this lifetime or any other.
And you guessed it! It looks like we all have had some kind of experience with this
infliction of anti-humanity to one another! Yikes! This chain of nastiness seems to have cropped up with everyone
I can think of. And these habits of pain can stay with us over time, even lifetimes to challenge and incapacitate us. What
recklessness we have encountered and lived in our lifetimes! No wonder all the great masters, including Jesus Christ, Yogi
Bhajan and the Dalai Lama put kindness and love at the center of their teachings!
And although we generally don’t talk about it this way,
the process of switching from “Abused/Abuser” to “Beloved of our Soul/Lover of All” seems
to be a foundational component of this Holy Path to which all of us reading these Newsletters give so much attention.
So, my Dears, I thought that I would attempt to provide
you all with what I have found over my years of healing practice concerning both the identification as well as the turning
around of ground-in pain. This is from both sides—that of having suffered abuse, as well as having inflicted abuse on
others. After all, every unkindness is a degree of abuse. And the amazing thing is that when we have been victimized,
that seems to implant deeply in our psyche to the point that we often repeat similar, although not always recognized actions
on others—either becoming the victimizer, or finding ways for others to continue to victimize us. Or we may find
ways to hurt ourselves. What a chain of events! And what a terrific challenge to take on for the sake
of our own genuine happiness, and for the support of humanity!
So, my theory is that if we become really, really conscious of these dreadful patterns, we can begin
to heal them— developing expanded Awareness from the end of 2006 to creating new possibilities of Heart
in the beginning of 2007. What a gift to our own beautiful Selves! And the deepened wisdom, liberation from habitual pain,
and upgrades to our expanded Consciousness are immeasurable. No wonder Yogi Bhajan in his Thanksgiving prayer gave thanks for all those monster difficulties that propel us to
change. So, here goes!
HOW DOES THIS WORK,
When energetically working with
a person, I find that there are knots in their energy system. And unless we are already liberated, we all have
the knots! These knots, which are also referred to as blocked or frozen energy are literally unworked-out or
undigested trauma. You know the feeling of a knotted muscle that has seized up. These energy blocks have some similarity.
So, when your energy system— made up of your aura, your major
and minor chakras, your meridian system, etc.—which is your pure creative energetic matrix, holder and processor of
information for your psyche and your body is running freely at optimum levels, faster than the speed of light,
you are bright, happy, creative, healthy and on top of things! Your energetic system impacts your glandular
and nervous systems to run the rest of your body and brain smoothly and in tip top shape.
However, can you remember
being faced with some trauma—short or long term? Did your muscles tighten; your breath stop; fright, horror
or great sadness well up in you? When this happens, it crashes your magnificent energy flow, just like crashing
your computer! And as you know, it takes a while to recuperate from such a trauma to ease out your energy system
you use very effective tools to recuperate from that trauma, that tightness, that actual energetic stuff of the trauma—
including the fears, the fright reactions, the pain, sadness, body sensations, disempowerment, etc. are “digitally”
stored as a block within your energetic system. And the energy of this block ceases moving at the speed of your
“healthy” free-flowing energy, kind of like a black hole in space.
This block forms itself into a shape such as a knot, a cloud, etc. in your energy system which
acts like an energetic DVD that stores this yuck. When you are in conscious hypnosis, usually you can actually perceive these
colored shapes that store your pain! You can “see” them in your aura or body, and they propagate specific feelings
and/or habits in you.
when any event or sensation that is similar to, or associated with the original trauma is experienced, that triggers the trauma
knot, re-activating the old programs of pain, fear, stress, etc. So, when this is unleashed, it causes you to
re-experience all the old horror without necessarily understanding why. It’s as though an automatic dark video game
suddenly takes you over. Or these blocks can just constantly leak into your system, feeding it an ongoing background of pain,
kicker is that these energetic knots can be stuck in your system, not only from this lifetime, but from past lives as well!
And we can even carry our ancestors' blocks, too!
Now, as the energy of these blocks
slows down over time, which means their vibrational frequency is lowered, it is possible—although not mandatory for
these energy blocks to move into the cells of your physical body, initiating breakdown and possibly resulting in disease.
Dorothy and her friends in Oz would chant, “Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh, My!”
So, don’t be scared, Dears! Just take
up your brain's Awareness, your Courage, and your Heart to Keep Up as we travel the yellow brick road of healing to reach
HOME—authentic health! We'll do this in the installments coming up in our multi-part series published
every other week called “LIONS, TIGERS AND BEARS!”
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
The RID-X Story
April 9, 2019 & December 19, 2006
As most of you know, I live in rural New Mexico, north of Santa Fe in the beautiful Rio Grande Valley. So, of course
I have a septic tank—sorry to bring it up! I regularly put granules called RID-X right down
into the system. According to blurb on the box, it is full of “billions of 100% natural active bacteria
and enzymes that have been scientifically proven to digest household waste (poop)!” As the box goes on
to explain, if left untreated, “overtime this waste can build up, possibly resulting in offensive odors,
clogged pipes, or even worse, backing up into your basement!” Yikes!
So, do you remember that in the first newsletter in this series
on Dec. 5, 2006 (above), I described how energy gets blocked in our
systems due to various traumas, including the abuse, abandonment, etc. that we have all experienced? Well, you got it. That’s
the poop! Please understand that we are talking about the whole range of energetic poop—from quite small difficulties
to very huge ones. And everyone has some kind of residue blockage! Otherwise, we’d be liberated!
these powerful blocks on the subtle level can jam our wonderful, free, brilliant energy flow, and they can also “leak
into our system,” causing all kinds of smelly stuff to happen! So, my Dears, my point is that Kundalini Yoga and Meditation
are the best kinds of RID-X bacteria and enzymes that can effectively digest these really insidious blockages in our energy
systems. True! And regular application is the best course to keep our energy flow working tip top!
So, if old pain comes up while you are doing your Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, shout “Hallelujah”
and let her rip because that energetic RID-X is working! I remember some excruciating sadhanas* many
years ago when the intense pain from my former marriage came up. I cried desperately as the agonizing memories took me over
for the full two and a half hours for a couple of early mornings. I really thought that I was loosing my mind! But when sadhana
was over, I could go about my day just fine. And by the third day of sadhana, I was shocked to find that that deep, black
pain was gone, and I never experienced it again. Therefore, I definitely can testify!
And I’ve seen so many others benefit incredibly with it as well! So, I feel that your starting
point in healing is to find your Kundalini classes and go! To find teachers, click here for the International Kundalini Teachers Association, or look in
the yellow pages under Yoga. Or get your own manuals or CD’s and start. You can order these from either Ancient Healing Ways. Or follow the links on my webpage for Kriyas and Meditations. If you honestly want to do it, you can! And then keep track of
the results in a journal, where you can read back and find encouragement in your progress when the going gets challenging.
So, this is your basis of healing,
please Keep Up! This is your healing foundation. Please cherish it.
Now that you have your solid, ongoing healing platform established, we’ll be discussing
more really conscious steps to freedom from the tyranny of habitual pain and behavior that steals your real Joy over these
next several bi-weekly newsletters! (They will alternate with Mother Planet.)
spiritual practice of Kundalini Yoga, Meditation and prayer that formally runs from 3:40 to 6:30 AM in the “Amrit Vela,”
or nectar hours when the separation between “Heaven and Earth” is thinnest.
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES
I Wanna Hold Your Hand!
2019 & January 2, 2007
Well, my Dears, whether your pain stems from being slighted by someone who seemed to be your friend before, but now
they ignore you, causing you pain and dislocation of your sense of self--and who hasn't felt that?
Or your situation may be as heavy as the lingering terrors of torture or abandonment— there comes
a time when you holler, “Enough is Enough!” I’m doing whatever it takes to free myself from
this pain and all the associated confusions—for REAL, Man! That’s “readiness!”
this point, you are no longer trying to avoid the pain by denying it’s really there, leaving your body to avoid feeling
it, freezing it with addictions, or blaming others for it, and you’re finished succumbing to its depths or destructive
habits. And you’re ready to give up trying to control circumstances or people in ways that you think will
make you “happy.” (Please re-read that last line until you really get it!) Reality has
caught your focus and won’t let you go! You are ready to grapple with the poop loads of difficulty—no
matter what, and sort it out.
my Dears! This is your commitment, your power and your Soul’s courage coming to the fore to take charge! Commend
your Soul for showing up for you, and grab its Hand for support as you move forward with ever increasing awareness
and steadiness, loving yourself for the ability to pick yourself up and keep trekking after the horror reruns and the inevitable
stumbles! This is the real You, the Warrior You!
there comes a time when you would like someone—and please pick a reliable, qualified someone to hold a gracious, purifying
place of healing and possibility of full health for you. Look for someone who can grasp your process, help you
stay kind to yourself, and yet keep you roped to your purpose of solid change, and growth of wisdom.
This person will not do your work for you! Never, ever expect
that! But they will provide some solidity for you to mirror within your own self. They will help you probe your tangled inner
reaches with sensitivity and insight. They will not be scared by your terrors. They will hold strength and good humor, bless
you for your progress and not blame you for your reluctance or slips. They will keep your track ahead in your field of vision.
This might be an experienced therapist
or healer, a good friend who naturally has these capabilities, and so on. But one huge caveat! Do not lose yourself by becoming
dependent on this person or on any other. So, with that you may even be lucky enough to find a few trusted hearts
to help focus your growth in various ways.
and maintain your responsibility for your own course of evolution. Be kind to this person as you learn more
and more how to be fully kind to yourself. Create some respectful boundaries about when you call on them, and don’t
assume that their time is your time.
And understand that if your process
gets too overwhelming, you must seek additional professional help. Do not attempt to hold your helper hostage to your own
needs. This is part of your healing process as well! Learning how to respect and work with others while you take
the sometimes lonely responsibility for yourself.
And be sure to make best friends with the Father God and the Mother God, as well as the Guru, or teacher
aspect of God. Discover them! They are there for you! Be sure to talk to Them all the time
and expect Them to talk back to you in various ways. Rant and rage if you need to. Tune into Their blessed comfort
and be sure to receive it! And really allow them to take your burdens. Rely on Them! They'll like it!
But always remember!
YOU are the one who will allow that pain to pour out of you for the sake of its being gone! And in its wake, YOU are the one
who will receive the Wisdom of how things can become kind, loving and supportive. You have already read about
relying on the super effectiveness of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation in our last chat on this subject. Please read the
newsletter number 2 in this Series, just above this one to refresh
your memory, if you like.
So, you are the one who will profoundly take the deep, primordial responsibility of courageously sitting with the
pain while it boils out of you. The energy actually looks like heat waves as it leaves you, which allows your brain neurons
to re-pattern themselves!
And what will be left
then as all your scattered parts re-assemble is awareness, growth, understanding, depth, courage, consciousness, sensitivity,
patience, character, caring, strength, clarity that your Soul could not have won in any other way, my Dears. This
is your Soul’s secret—it sets these karmas into play because it hungers for the products of healing!
This is the Hero’s Journey, Dears! No matter if the healing
is light or heavy, you are the mythic Hero solving your Soul’s challenges! Bless you on your journey!
To read the previous
installments in this Series, please read those above this one on this webpage. http://www.SoulAnswer.com/lions_tigers_and_bears.html
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
How to Get What You Want!
December 16, 2006
When you are really and truly progressing along your spiritual
path—the most amazing route to realizing your Soul, and also when you come talk with me, please do not ask for
all the goods and conditions that you emotionally feel you “NEED” to finally fulfill all your material and emotional
“NEEDS” to keep you safe from all your fears!
Please do not ask me to find that mate who will finally give you everything
that you lack, take away your fears and loneliness, and fulfill all your dreams. Do not ask for that job or that business
deal that will finally make you rich in order to quell all your worries. That's what psychics attempt to answer. Not me!
Nope! If you are really and truly serious about
this Spiritual Quest for your Soul, Dears, which equates with developing your own unshakable happiness, you will be
asking instead how to let go of and TRANSFORM your own very deadly emotions right there in their tracks for good,
even in very threatening situations! That is opposed to your psyche screaming about how to get the stuff, people or whatever
to bolt the doors against fear, pain, lack or loss, etc. Because if those deadly emotions are still rooted in you, they will
come back! Just like Freddy on Friday the 13th!
Be very clear that these emotions are yours and will always
be there to scare you half to death if you don’t heal them, no matter what defenses you make against them. They are
not something alien that is foisted upon you. In fact, the magnetic energy of those awful emotions that you carry can
actually repel what you think you want, no matter how hard you try to bury it! Picture how two magnets of the same
pole repel each other. And by the same token, that
unsolved magnetic energy can also draw people, situations, etc. that can trigger your difficulties, and cause them to recur
over and over!
So, Dears, cherish the moment that every one of these feelings of
lack, fear, loneliness, pain, etc. crops up because you are being given the opportunity to heal it—at that very moment!
Because if you transform these difficulties with the great skill that your Soul can provide for you, and for which you take
total responsibility in such dire circumstances, you can miraculously cut through all that sticky goo sediment collected in
your short-sighted ego—yes, I said the leftover junk in your ego that causes you all these pooky emotions!
Just meditate hard on this one. Essentially what you are really
after is freedom from pain, freedom from loneliness, freedom from fear, freedom from want. Wouldn’t you say
that’s true? So, the way to get that freedom is to dig out the very deep roots of those emotional weeds so they can
be gone forever! Right? Not to protect them!
Now, get this! Those old, powerful roots are the actual energetic
programs of fear, pain and loneliness themselves! These other things— people and situations that we feel we must have
because we deeply, strongly believe they will protect us from the experience of those wrenching emotions from hell, honestly
will crumble. They may work fine for a while, but inevitably, those hellions find a way to come back and explode in
our faces, even though we may think we have set up an inpenetrable bastion of protection. If it were true that these protections
would actually save us from our most dreadful emotions, then perhaps all rich, married people would be in bliss! And all poor,
single people would be living in wretchedness. Do you suppose that’s true?
So, can you understand this difference
between FREEDOM from the actual emotions that cause us hell, versus the “need” to get things that we perceive
will PROTECT US from those awful emotions? If we keep those creepy crawlies, we automatically rely on them to give
us really bad direction in our lives.
At this point, you may be screaming, “Well,
that’s not true for me!” or “Does that mean that I will never have the love of my life, or that I will always
be poor, and so on?” Well, I won’t tell you one way or another, and frankly speaking that’s immaterial at
this point. (No, that’s not a cruel statement.)
But it is true that if you don’t root out the actual source
energy of your fears, pains, loneliness, etc., your negative magnetic subtle energy, along with your outward emotional expressions
will either repel the things that you think you want most; and/or your raw emotional needs will make a real mess of your objects
of desire if you actually do get them!
No joke, Dears! I’ve seen it happen over
and over again! For instance, perhaps you have finally found a mate who you feel will keep you completely safe from your own
fears. But no matter how your heart-throb tries, they cannot actually squelch your agony, because it is YOUR energy program,
not theirs. And so the un- fulfillable demands that you lay on your mate may put such a burden on your union that your mate
can finally do nothing more than “get out the back, Jack!” So, there you are again—alone with your fears!
One of our great US presidents, FDR wisely led our country though
horrendous times with the truism “We have nothing to fear but fear itself!” So, this is my best and most loving
advice for you. Courageously confront the fear, the hurt, the pain, the sense of lack, itself! Only as that is cleared
can you expect to attract, recognize and allow yourself to receive the really great things that the Universe is always offering
And believe me, if you are really serious about
having your Soul become the primary Source in your life, you will have to effectively move those undermining emotions out
of the driver’s seat of your psyche. That’s it! Your joyful Soul can’t take command of your life while you
give control to those wicked emotions!
So, why not save yourself the real terrors
in the long run, and replace them with genuine freedom, deep joy, and unbounded creativity to supply all your solutions—from
a very spontaneous level? That’s what it’s like when your Soul is in charge, even in the most grave of
situations. So, how about taking the chance, and heal these buggers sooner than later?
Lots of Love to You, Dears! I appreciate your
sticking with it, and taking it to heart!
Please read this whole series for
tips on how to transform those deadly emotions and get your Soul in charge! And stay tuned in for more as they come to you.
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
January 30, 2007
“Is God punishing me?” That’s
what people in a lot of pain scream out pretty often. So, my answer is, “Well, no, my Dear. This is the great
Law of Justice called ‘Karma’ at work, and you are the God!”
Oh, my God! What a sense of despair that can create if you don’t
tune into the whole story. But the whole story is quite miraculous! You see, this is how it goes—from the bottom up:God is not some Old Guy with a white beard who lives on a cloud and plays with
us like some kind of marionettes—sometimes nicely and sometimes vindictively. Nor did this Old Guy create the world
in a number of days, and then abandon us—His “children,” answering just a bit of His mail (our prayers)
when He gets around to it. No, indeed!
SO WHO IS GOD?
This is the
real story! GOD is actually absolute full Potential! GOD is full power, energy and intelligence in its purest, purest, most
deafening and Unknowable non-form—from being the absolute Unknown power behind the “seed” of Creation, to
moving into Creation as the coziest, sweetest and most intimate Presence you can possibly experience to hurt, unrest, and
everything in between!
Yes, now listen! Devoid of our limited judgments, you can think of
these letters “GOD” as an acronym for these powerful energies: “G” for Generating, “O”
for Organizing, and “D” for Destroying or Transforming. Everything in the Universe operates out of these Energies,
and in fact is created from these Energies! And the truth of that is that everything as well as every action, thought, etc.
is GOD. There is nothing that is not GOD! Yogi Bhajan put it succinctly, “If you can’t see GOD in all, then
you can’t see GOD at all!”
And the biggest and most wonderful surprise in this awareness
of all being GOD, is that WE are GOD! “Yikes!” I can almost hear you shouting, “If that’s
so, why would I ever have done all that painful crap to Myself? I’d be much kinder to Me! I’d set Me down on a
gorgeous warm blue-water beach, lots of money, people who love and care for me, no worries, no pain. I know what I’d
give myself if I had the chance!” Well, the problem is that that is our short-sighted view of “Heaven”.
So, hang on! Here we go through some esoteric-like paradigm
shift! But do your best to get it. It’s our foundation.
When you look at the whole situation, it is your Soul that is the
True participant of the GOD Self—Who is fully the GOD Self! And it is your Soul that lays out all your challenges for
this life before you jump into it, so that you can hopefully “play” your challenges well enough to move on to
the next level of the “game”, either in this life or a future one.
Finally winning this “game” is when you fully,
completely realize, with every bit of rarified experience, that YOU are the GOD! You’ve come Home again, gone
full circle over lifetimes from the beginning of separating your awareness from the Infinity, becoming limited and small,
going through so much pain, hurt, humiliation, love, tenderness and everything in between, to finally come Home again as the
GOD, the Infinite who has been experiencing limited Creation as You! After all, Creation is a “limited” kind of
thing, and the Creator is Unlimited. So, for the Creator to live in limitedness, He/She/It lives the outrageous, limited adventure
of Creation as Us! Whew! Hope you got that.
Now, the mechanics of
walking this Yellow Brick Road, or path that our Soul takes through lifetimes with different bodies and different circumstances
each time around involves the very most perfect rule of justice! That is called the “Law of Karma.” That’s
a fancy word that says, “Whatever you do, that thing will at some time be done to you.” Remember Jesus’
Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? He was not giving some sugar- coated aphorism.
He was, in fact teaching us how to best “play” or live that Karmic Law for our best benefit! Yep. He was no fool,
So briefly, everything that we do—hurtful
or helpful comes boomeranging back to us at some time, either in this life or others. So, yes it does mean that if we have
suffered abuse in this life, we have doled it out in some other time. But DO NOT SINK INTO GUILT AND DESPAIR, Dears!
Your Soul sets up these courses and challenges of the
extreme sport that we call living lifetimes for Its own purpose—creating the problems, receiving the problems and then
SOLVING the problems (healing) in order to glean the whole gamut of Human experience! But in this process—especially
in the healing process, we develop such an incredible depth of wisdom, sensitivity, and “neutrality” or unimpeded
vastness that moves us closer to our “Home,” while building our ability to help others along the Yellow Brick
Road to get “Home,” too. Home being our full, unlimited realization of our Eternal Divinity! So, sometimes this
process is called being in greater alignment with our Soul, which describes becoming more aware of the conscious, wise choices
that our Soul offers us, and taking them.
This is a road that all Souls travel in our
“8.4 million lifetimes, half of them in water” (in many different forms!). So, you can see that now since we are
human at last, we have already come a “great distance” !
And now for the corker! If we make a conscious effort to
heal this pain, the disasters of lifetimes, and clear the tangled, troubled energy in our systems (click here for more information on that—Part 2 in our Series), we are taking
this very precious opportunity to move way ahead on our path to truly realizing Who we are! And, by the way, these
old uglies can’t reach up to grab us anymore because:
result we experience is greater happiness! What could be better?
- Those energies don't exist in that painful, blocking form anymore.
- In the healing of them, we have unlocked gates that allow us to progress
much further in our search to realize our True Identity.
No, joke, Dears! You are the GOD, and you are squarely on the
road to really, really discovering that!
So, please let this knowledge give you the widened perspective to loosen
up from being hog tied by the crushing question of “Why me?” Give yourself some space to appreciate what
an incredible Hero’s Journey you are on, and in spite of the pain, the loss, the hurts, etc., congratulate yourself
for coming this far, and for having pulled together the Courage, the Heart, and the Intelligence to move forward in your transformation—your
healing process! So, as the GOD, give yourself what you really deserve—a chance at real happiness by committing
yourself to healing. All love to you, Dears, and congratulations!
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
The Whole Shebang!
A Checklist for Healing.
February 13, 2007
Well, here it is! A whole check list of ways to support your transition
from fear and abuse to claiming the wisdom and greatness of your own Soul!
If you want to print out this long list in a more printer
friendly format, please click here, and then go to the very bottom of that web page. Click on the “Printer
Friendly” button on the very bottom of that last box (forget the other instructions you’ll get there), and then
print. You can also print out the first 5 parts of this series from that web page as well to get the whole healing package!These checklist items are not necessary in consecutive order, and
you may engage any step at any time. Most likely you will be revisiting each step again and again in degrees as you move
forward, so don’t give up. You can think of healing as a spiral process in that once you work out a phase of your difficulty
for the best, that same dilemma may come back to you again in the future to heal at even deeper levels.
So please give yourself credit on your amazing Hero’s
Journey. Give yourself a break by not getting upset or blaming yourself for not having solved the whole challenge in one
blow! Develop and rely on your intuition. If we accept the challenge, our healing path can offer us a lifetime process
to realize greater and greater personal wisdom, contentment and freedom!
So, this is it:
1. Realize what has happened, or that
“something” has happened, either in this life or in another, and that you don’t need to live with these
habitual difficulties or “blocks” anymore, and that you can actually heal and change your life. Be a
victim no more! Studying how others have handled a situation similar to yours may be enlightening and perhaps give you some
comfort in knowing that you are not the only one.
2. If you are living in proximity to your abuser, find
a way to separate yourself from them. Do not play an enabling role to any abuser! You may have to develop your ability
to financially support yourself, etc. Establish your own safe boundaries and stick to them! Protect your children from abuse—
perhaps from your spouse, from an abusive teacher, or even yourself! Support your children’s own power and ability to
protect themselves. Educate them to be aware and protect themselves from threat, and grow their insight and personal integrity.
3. Kundalini Yoga and Meditation are the most amazingly
effective tools that I have ever witnessed to turn around pain of any kind! Please click here to refer to Part 2 of this series, “The Rid-X Story” for
more info on that. In addition, regular strong exercise, rest, relaxation, fun, being in nature, learning something new, hanging
with other folks—old friends or new, cleaning out your nest, and change of scenery can help immensely!
4. Check your diet! Sugar, chemicals—including
non-Rx drugs, white flour, processed foods, alcohol and binging can turn up the decibels of your pain and even be addictive.
Initially when you consume them, they may seem to dull your pain, give you happiness, but then you crash to depths otherwise
unknown! So, it’s best to drop these, but quick. Instead, get appropriate quantities of whole grains, fresh vegetables
and vegetable juices—especially our great green friends, fresh fruits, beans, nuts and other proteins such as dairy,
a bit of pure oils, small amounts of complex sugars such as honey or Sucanat, herbal and detoxifying teas, and lots and lots
of pure, refreshing water. Organic raw foods offer the most terrific nourishment! Become a wonderful cook to delight and support
yourself with the great mental and physical health that comes with great nutrition! Reasonable natural supplements can support
you as well.
5. Go beyond using your abuse or difficulties as a badge
that others must honor. Rather, really honor yourself by taking responsibility for your own healing. Allow your “true”
identity to develop naturally as you heal—one that supports you rather than always dragging you down, or drop your love
of shocking people with what happened to you to evoke sympathy, while you claim your specialness by what you have suffered.
With healing, you can allow others to naturally notice what you have developed within. You are headed towards sensitivity,
kindness, power, capacity for closeness, trust, humor, ease, happiness, peaked insight, reliability, freedom, ability to securely
ride the waves of challenges, ability to create your own comfort, and much more! So, it’s really all right to drop that
old, pain ridden identity that no longer serves you so that you can free yourself to transform.
6. Find a qualified, experienced person
to help you—someone you can rely on and trust, who will hold the space of the “Real You” for you,
who will not turn on you, who will be there and support you for the long run, who will effectively help you move your healing
process along, and who will supply boundaries in your relationship with them. Respect these boundaries as a great training
tool for you rather than feeling abandoned. Let supportive friends and relatives help, but don’t abuse your relationship
with them. Realize that in the long run, the only person who can really “save” you is you! Commit to the long
and challenging process of healing.
7. Work consciously on creating safety
in your environments, in your psyche, in your relationships, and live from and with your Spirit. Use deep meditation
and visualizations. Other people can provide only so much security and safety for you, so seek to establish these within yourself.
This will help provide the safety that you need to heal without shattering your psyche. Ground yourself, don’t leave
your body to keep you from experiencing the challenges of life and healing. Some people develop the habit of leaving their
bodies (astrally) to avoid experiencing pain. But when trying to heal, you actually will feel the pain again as it leaves.
So, if you leave your body when the pain comes up, you can’t let go of the pain and heal. Also, recover from using “recreational”
drugs and alcohol, which may dull the pain, but keep you lock in the pain cycle.
8. Understand the victim/victimizer syndrome, meaning
that very often one who has been a victim will in turn, often quite unwittingly victimize others. Watch carefully
to see if you are repeating your abuser’s patterns. Do you have passive/aggressive behavior? Do you either need constant
support, or do you live in isolation? Do you try to manipulate and control your environments, people and situations due to
your fear of what might happen? This may be quite subtle, so look closely. Become very aware of what is really happening—and
don’t get guilty if you find yourself doing any of these! Guilt will impede your healing. Instead, find creative ways
to change your behavior.
9. Identify your anger (which embodies
locked up power and confusion), terror, pain, feelings of being lost or unconnected, etc. On a regular basis begin
to look at it from your witness within—as a third party so that you can observe the details with an increasingly neutral
eye, and see how they are impacting your life. Then create mastery over those feelings so that they don’t grab your
life. You are not them and they are not You. They are your locked in experiences that need to be healed. This is a puzzle
that needs to be worked with. Use meditation. This neutral observation of pain is paired and contrasted with the following
step of intimately re-experiencing the pain in specific ways.
10. With guidance or supervision, or when
tuned in with meditation, or in any other way that keeps you safe, begin to let these feelings of anger, hatred, terror, pain,
etc. move out of you and be recycled by the Infinite. As you do, you will re- experience the pain, but understand
that in these circumstances, you will be opening the energy blocks, lancing them if you will, and letting them move out. Release
only as much pain as you can bear re-experiencing at a time. Put yourself in the protection of your Soul, God, your generous
Mother Earth or whatever protective, powerful relationship that you have. It will work for you!
11. When working with people in
conscious hypnosis, when I ask their Soul what needs to happen to for them to fully heal, they invariably find the answer
to be “Forgive my abuser.” This comes from their depth of wisdom, and they are always surprised
by this. When forgiving, you don’t let the other person off the hook for what they did, but you do deeply cut the energetic/emotional
ties that keep your emotions and psyche tied to the tortured pain of the abuse. Then while in this deep but conscious hypnosis,
they can see why the other person—in his or her karmic chain did what they did, and what their role was as the abused
person. They really see and understand the balance of the scales, thereby gaining powerful wisdom and confidence in their
own Soul’s march to greatness!
12. Capture the understanding, wisdom
and power of the experienced and freed up psyche and Soul! Be open to every situation that comes to you, knowing that
you have the ability to create and dance with it, and not be trapped or cowed by it. You have freed yourself of restrictions,
of fears and disempowering habits of your mind and emotions. Allow your identity to be this magnificent Being who is the genuine
Hero and who has walked the Warrior’s Path with courage and dignity! Rely on this open and available power and insight
that you have developed and discovered within! It is yours. Own it completely! Have total confidence and lots of fun being
in the powerful, present, creative moment!
13. Take every opportunity to love yourself, care for yourself
and appreciate yourself in the most humble way! That is not self serving or agrandizing. Rather, in full, complete
humility, realize that you in fact are the essence of the God, and it is your privilege to treat yourself and others with
kindness and respect! What more can be said, O Precious One?
LIONS, TIGERS and BEARS!
A SERIES ON HEALING THE DIFFICULTIES OF ABUSE
Wendy's Rebuttal on Karma and Forgiveness!
February 27, 2007
Wendy from Australia had a lot of questions about some things
that I said in this series. Here is our full exchange.
Thanks for caring so deeply for the abused, and for the opportunity
to clarify these points, Dear!
Again, thank you for your newsletter number 5 of the series “Lions,
Tigers and Bears: Healing the Difficulties of Abuse." I have been really enjoying
your articles. I feel I have to comment though on the paragraph that said if
you are being abused or have been abused you must have doled it out in some other lifetime.
I FOUND THAT COMMENT OPENED UP A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS!
There are no lessons in sexual abuse. There are no lessons in any kind of abuse really. I do think a lot of pain takes place, a lot of confusion,
a lot of distrust, and a road of trying to make something of it. I do believe
we are in control of how we cope with it, but I do not see that a 3 year old girl who gets bashed by a father or mother doled
it out in a previous life.
Here in Australia 1 in 4 children are abused and I think the only
lesson in this—if there is to be a lesson, is to be a voice for all the little children, adolescents and grown
adults who struggle to understand why. Not to put it on them that they did this in a previous life and that’s
why it’s happening to them now. What about the abuser? Again to me that sounds
like they don’t know what they are doing, but at their next life it will happen back to them. As a parent of 3 gorgeous
cherubs 4, 13 and 16, I CHOOSE AS A GOD NOT TO ABUSE MY CHILDREN.
So every adult that abuses their children or someone else’s
children has a choice to abuse or not. And that comes back to saying that we
are God and in control. I agree. But
please, when you see a little child being abused I cannot see that she is getting her karma back for what she did in a previous
life. We need to be the voice for these children.
As for the adults that abuse, there is only one word for them—“jail.”
I like to think my arms are wings of an angel, and when you wrap these children
up you are hugging them with your angel wings and letting them know how precious they are.
And parents who abuse their children don’t deserve to be parents.
Abused children doled it out in a previous life? The answer is no.
It is just fine to deny that the abused person doled out that same stuff in a previous
life. I am not trying to impose a belief system on you.
But I just want to point out that you have eloquently described the "lesson" that you
have learned, or the consciousness that you have gained in your very difficult process. You are now the God, the Protective
Angel who chooses to protect all children. Good work, Dear!
There are many others in your situation who only know how to pass this ugliness on to
Lots of Love,
Thank you for your reply. I just have to express again a couple
of things to you. I am denying that little children who get bashed by their father doled it out in a previous life. The
other day a little 3 year old girl was beaten to death by her father in Sydney, Australia. It was splashed all over the country in the papers.
Are you telling me she got her karma back? There certainly is no lesson for her to learn. She is now dead. And for the abuser—how does a family
forgive him as in your article in your series “The Whole Shebang,” point number 11?
FORGIVE THE ABUSER? How does a grandmother forgive her son
for abusing and killing HER GRAND DAUGHTER? How does the grandmother go not holding her little grandchild anymore,
and as you said in point # 11, “Forgive the abuser?” You make it
sound like its all OK to run around the country side abusing kids and that they deserve it because of the karma. Well, it’s not OK!
As I said, in Australia
1 in 4 children are abused. That to me sounds like there are a lot of ugly abusers on the loose with rights. There are
no rights for the abused. What’s the lesson for them? You also make it sound like they are doing what they are meant to be doing in hurting little children.
And it doesn’t stop there! It happens to teenagers and women
every where in the world. I know I have grown through my experience and
I also realize there is something very special about me. And yes, I have become
a wingless angel, but there is no excuse for abuse. To me the abuser has the
problem, not the little girl.
I spoke to Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra in Melbourne
six years ago at a conference. Louise told me we need to pick these abused people
up and help give them self worth because the abuser will only pull them down more. We
need to help these people and remove the abusers from their life. I am so sorry
we do not agree on this part. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree.
The rest of your articles are awesome.
no way am I saying that it is all right to abuse anyone! Never, ever is it all right to abuse anyone! I can think
of no more terrible evil. And Louise Hay was right on when she said that "we need to pick these abused people up and
help give them self worth because the abuser will only pull them down more."
must also pray hard for all who have been abused and even killed in order to help change the vibrations that perpetuate this
terrible cause and effect. Abuse is the most awful and degrading crime! To understand the laws-of-karma does not
lessen the terrible hurt and ugliness that is put onto its victims!
does not lessen the kindness, the pity, the compassion and the care that we owe to these dear victims. No way!
When thinking of, or working with one who has been abused, you never, ever bring the "karma" thing into the equation.
You deal front and center, in the here and now with kindness and healing for that person in their innocence.
you read that forgiving your abuser does not let them off the hook? They are guilty as hell! They should be punished
and kept behind bars or whatever other restraints (perhaps pharmaceutical castration in my opinion). But you will let
the Lord and the state take care of their punishment. If necessary, you will call the police to stop their abusing,
and testify against them. You will use every tactic to quit their continuing such terrible habits.
And there is one more very sad thing. Those traumatized little dear children may
have had their psyches so wrecked that they grow up to become the abusers themselves. So, this becomes a very complicated
what I hear in you is a deep hatred and anger that won't go away. I suspect that those emotions cause you lots of difficulties,
both mentally and physically. So, the reason for forgiving the abuser is to unhook yourself from those terrible hatreds
so that you can live in peace. Forgiving your
abuser is for you, not for the abuser.
object of the abused forgiving is for the abused to get well, and finally live in neutrality so that you can reclaim
your life after all. It is to finally rid yourself of the abuser taking your psyche hostage and emotionally keeping
you a victim. This forgiveness cuts the very real and strong ties of hatred, hurt, constant pain and unrest suffered
by the abused. It does not forgive the abuser of guilt, of punishment, of responsibility for their crime.
the abused to finally get to the point where they forgive their abuser, which could be a life time process, gives the abused
the ability to finally heal him or her self fully of the torment they constantly suffer, and in graciousness, take charge
of their own lives without constantly giving themselves over to the pain suffered at the hands of the abuser.
this make sense to you?
Good Morning, Siri-Gian,
Thank you for your e-mail. Yes you have described it brilliantly, and yes it makes sense to me. When you said you hear hatred and anger in me, I know that that is my desire to be a voice for helping
the abused. I am not angry to the degree it runs my life. We have a pretty normal home. Three cherubs and I do the school
run. I’m on school tuck shop and generally just mum stuff. And most importantly I take care of myself so I can take good care of my husband and children. Some
days it’s challenging, others it’s just plain out awesome.
I am a qualified masseur, which I have no desire to do. I don’t
want the smelly bodies [LAUGH OUT LOUD]. I have a diploma in journalism specializing
in children’s writing, and that’s the road I wish to travel. I have
just completed a gorgeous children’s book and am in the process of trying to get an agent and have it published. So my life is exciting but I have to say, the voice for abused children, women and
teenagers will always be very strong. I know I even teach my mother about self
esteem just in every day situations [SAD REALLY]. I am so pleased that your e-mail
described for me. There are also other gifted angels like your self that can
be a voice. Thank you. Have an awesome
Lots of Love, Wendy
for your lovely and bright e-mail! Do you suppose that you will ever write a children's book on how to heal from abuse,
or for a child to learn how to set up their boundaries and how to enforce them or get help?
Another question. You brought up some very valid points, ones that evidently need more explaining.
Would you mind if I used our exchange as our newsletter for Feb. 27? I would move a few things around, check the spelling
and you could use your name, your initial or be anonymous. I would check out the completed copy with you before I sent
it out. Are you willing?
Good Afternoon Siri-Gian,
Thank you for replying to my e-mails. I would be honoured for you to use our exchange for the February 27th
newsletter. I am sure there are a lot of people in this world that a newsletter like this could give positive strength
to. You have my blessing!
Lots of Love, Wendy
Enter content here
Enter content here
Enter content here