Soul Answer


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A Series on Healing the Difficulties of Abuse!

Part 1
How Does This Work Anyway?
April 2, 2019 & December 5, 2006

Just for the “fun” of it, I was trying to think of anyone who may not have been abused, or who may not have abused others— meaning involvement in any degree of abuse from perhaps say, being slighted to the extreme of being physically or mentally tortured either in this lifetime or any other.

And you guessed it! It looks like we all have had some kind of experience with this infliction of anti-humanity to one another! Yikes! This chain of nastiness seems to have cropped up with everyone I can think of. And these habits of pain can stay with us over time, even lifetimes to challenge and incapacitate us. What recklessness we have encountered and lived in our lifetimes! No wonder all the great masters, including Jesus Christ, Yogi Bhajan and the Dalai Lama put kindness and love at the center of their teachings!

And although we generally don’t talk about it this way, the process of switching from “Abused/Abuser” to “Beloved of our Soul/Lover of All” seems to be a foundational component of this Holy Path to which all of us reading these Newsletters give so much attention.

So, my Dears, I thought that I would attempt to provide you all with what I have found over my years of healing practice concerning both the identification as well as the turning around of ground-in pain. This is from both sides—that of having suffered abuse, as well as having inflicted abuse on others. After all, every unkindness is a degree of abuse. And the amazing thing is that when we have been victimized, that seems to implant deeply in our psyche to the point that we often repeat similar, although not always recognized actions on others—either becoming the victimizer, or finding ways for others to continue to victimize us.  Or we may find ways to hurt ourselves.  What a chain of events! And what a terrific challenge to take on for the sake of our own genuine happiness, and for the support of humanity!

So, my theory is that if we become really, really conscious of these dreadful patterns, we can begin to heal them— developing expanded Awareness from the end of 2006 to creating new possibilities of Heart in the beginning of 2007. What a gift to our own beautiful Selves! And the deepened wisdom, liberation from habitual pain, and upgrades to our expanded Consciousness are immeasurable. No wonder Yogi Bhajan in his Thanksgiving prayer gave thanks for all those monster difficulties that propel us to change. So, here goes!


When energetically working with a person, I find that there are knots in their energy system. And unless we are already liberated, we all have the knots! These knots, which are also referred to as blocked or frozen energy are literally unworked-out or undigested trauma. You know the feeling of a knotted muscle that has seized up. These energy blocks have some similarity.

So, when your energy system— made up of your aura, your major and minor chakras, your meridian system, etc.—which is your pure creative energetic matrix, holder and processor of information for your psyche and your body is running freely at optimum levels, faster than the speed of light, you are bright, happy, creative, healthy and on top of things! Your energetic system impacts your glandular and nervous systems to run the rest of your body and brain smoothly and in tip top shape.

However, can you remember being faced with some trauma—short or long term? Did your muscles tighten; your breath stop; fright, horror or great sadness well up in you? When this happens, it crashes your magnificent energy flow, just like crashing your computer! And as you know, it takes a while to recuperate from such a trauma to ease out your energy system again.

But unless you use very effective tools to recuperate from that trauma, that tightness, that actual energetic stuff of the trauma— including the fears, the fright reactions, the pain, sadness, body sensations, disempowerment, etc. are “digitally” stored as a block within your energetic system. And the energy of this block ceases moving at the speed of your “healthy” free-flowing energy, kind of like a black hole in space.

This block forms itself into a shape such as a knot, a cloud, etc. in your energy system which acts like an energetic DVD that stores this yuck. When you are in conscious hypnosis, usually you can actually perceive these colored shapes that store your pain! You can “see” them in your aura or body, and they propagate specific feelings and/or habits in you.

Then, when any event or sensation that is similar to, or associated with the original trauma is experienced, that triggers the trauma knot, re-activating the old programs of pain, fear, stress, etc. So, when this is unleashed, it causes you to re-experience all the old horror without necessarily understanding why. It’s as though an automatic dark video game suddenly takes you over. Or these blocks can just constantly leak into your system, feeding it an ongoing background of pain, etc.

And the kicker is that these energetic knots can be stuck in your system, not only from this lifetime, but from past lives as well! And we can even carry our ancestors' blocks, too!

Now, as the energy of these blocks slows down over time, which means their vibrational frequency is lowered, it is possible—although not mandatory for these energy blocks to move into the cells of your physical body, initiating breakdown and possibly resulting in disease.

As Dorothy and her friends in Oz would chant, “Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh, My!”

So, don’t be scared, Dears! Just take up your brain's Awareness, your Courage, and your Heart to Keep Up as we travel the yellow brick road of healing to reach HOME—authentic health! We'll do this in the installments coming up in our multi-part series published every other week called “LIONS, TIGERS AND BEARS!”



Part 2
The RID-X Story
April 9, 2019 & December 19, 2006


As most of you know, I live in rural New Mexico, north of Santa Fe in the beautiful Rio Grande Valley. So, of course I have a septic tank—sorry to bring it up! I regularly put granules called RID-X right down into the system. According to blurb on the box, it is full of “billions of 100% natural active bacteria and enzymes that have been scientifically proven to digest household waste (poop)!” As the box goes on to explain, if left untreated, “overtime this waste can build up, possibly resulting in offensive odors, clogged pipes, or even worse, backing up into your basement!” Yikes!

So, do you remember that in the first newsletter in this series on Dec. 5, 2006 (above), I described how energy gets blocked in our systems due to various traumas, including the abuse, abandonment, etc. that we have all experienced? Well, you got it. That’s the poop! Please understand that we are talking about the whole range of energetic poop—from quite small difficulties to very huge ones. And everyone has some kind of residue blockage! Otherwise, we’d be liberated!

Now, these powerful blocks on the subtle level can jam our wonderful, free, brilliant energy flow, and they can also “leak into our system,” causing all kinds of smelly stuff to happen! So, my Dears, my point is that Kundalini Yoga and Meditation are the best kinds of RID-X bacteria and enzymes that can effectively digest these really insidious blockages in our energy systems. True! And regular application is the best course to keep our energy flow working tip top!

So, if old pain comes up while you are doing your Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, shout “Hallelujah” and let her rip because that energetic RID-X is working! I remember some excruciating sadhanas* many years ago when the intense pain from my former marriage came up. I cried desperately as the agonizing memories took me over for the full two and a half hours for a couple of early mornings. I really thought that I was loosing my mind! But when sadhana was over, I could go about my day just fine. And by the third day of sadhana, I was shocked to find that that deep, black pain was gone, and I never experienced it again. Therefore, I definitely can testify!

And I’ve seen so many others benefit incredibly with it as well! So, I feel that your starting point in healing is to find your Kundalini classes and go! To find teachers, click here for the International Kundalini Teachers Association, or look in the yellow pages under Yoga. Or get your own manuals or CD’s and start. You can order these from either Ancient Healing Ways. Or follow the links on my webpage for Kriyas and Meditations. If you honestly want to do it, you can! And then keep track of the results in a journal, where you can read back and find encouragement in your progress when the going gets challenging.

So, this is your basis of healing, please Keep Up! This is your healing foundation. Please cherish it.

Now that you have your solid, ongoing healing platform established, we’ll be discussing more really conscious steps to freedom from the tyranny of habitual pain and behavior that steals your real Joy over these next several bi-weekly newsletters! (They will alternate with Mother Planet.)

*Sadhana—Early morning spiritual practice of Kundalini Yoga, Meditation and prayer that formally runs from 3:40 to 6:30 AM in the “Amrit Vela,” or nectar hours when the separation between “Heaven and Earth” is thinnest.


Part 3
I Wanna Hold Your Hand!
April16, 2019 & January 2, 2007

Well, my Dears, whether your pain stems from being slighted by someone who seemed to be your friend before, but now they ignore you, causing you pain and dislocation of your sense of self--and who hasn't felt that?

Or your situation may be as heavy as the lingering terrors of torture or abandonment— there comes a time when you holler, “Enough is Enough!” I’m doing whatever it takes to free myself from this pain and all the associated confusions—for REAL, Man! That’s “readiness!”

At this point, you are no longer trying to avoid the pain by denying it’s really there, leaving your body to avoid feeling it, freezing it with addictions, or blaming others for it, and you’re finished succumbing to its depths or destructive habits. And you’re ready to give up trying to control circumstances or people in ways that you think will make you “happy.” (Please re-read that last line until you really get it!) Reality has caught your focus and won’t let you go! You are ready to grapple with the poop loads of difficulty—no matter what, and sort it out.

There, my Dears! This is your commitment, your power and your Soul’s courage coming to the fore to take charge! Commend your Soul for showing up for you, and grab its Hand for support as you move forward with ever increasing awareness and steadiness, loving yourself for the ability to pick yourself up and keep trekking after the horror reruns and the inevitable stumbles! This is the real You, the Warrior You!

Now, there comes a time when you would like someone—and please pick a reliable, qualified someone to hold a gracious, purifying place of healing and possibility of full health for you. Look for someone who can grasp your process, help you stay kind to yourself, and yet keep you roped to your purpose of solid change, and growth of wisdom.

This person will not do your work for you! Never, ever expect that! But they will provide some solidity for you to mirror within your own self. They will help you probe your tangled inner reaches with sensitivity and insight. They will not be scared by your terrors. They will hold strength and good humor, bless you for your progress and not blame you for your reluctance or slips. They will keep your track ahead in your field of vision.

This might be an experienced therapist or healer, a good friend who naturally has these capabilities, and so on. But one huge caveat! Do not lose yourself by becoming dependent on this person or on any other. So, with that you may even be lucky enough to find a few trusted hearts to help focus your growth in various ways.

Accept and maintain your responsibility for your own course of evolution. Be kind to this person as you learn more and more how to be fully kind to yourself. Create some respectful boundaries about when you call on them, and don’t assume that their time is your time.

And understand that if your process gets too overwhelming, you must seek additional professional help. Do not attempt to hold your helper hostage to your own needs. This is part of your healing process as well! Learning how to respect and work with others while you take the sometimes lonely responsibility for yourself.

And be sure to make best friends with the Father God and the Mother God, as well as the Guru, or teacher aspect of God.  Discover them!  They are there for you!  Be sure to talk to Them all the time and expect Them to talk back to you in various ways.  Rant and rage if you need to.  Tune into Their blessed comfort and be sure to receive it!  And really allow them to take your burdens.  Rely on Them!  They'll like it!

But always remember!  YOU are the one who will allow that pain to pour out of you for the sake of its being gone! And in its wake, YOU are the one who will receive the Wisdom of how things can become kind, loving and supportive. You have already read about relying on the super effectiveness of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation in our last chat on this subject. Please read the newsletter number 2 in this Series, just above this one to refresh your memory, if you like.

So, you are the one who will profoundly take the deep, primordial responsibility of courageously sitting with the pain while it boils out of you. The energy actually looks like heat waves as it leaves you, which allows your brain neurons to re-pattern themselves!

And what will be left then as all your scattered parts re-assemble is awareness, growth, understanding, depth, courage, consciousness, sensitivity, patience, character, caring, strength, clarity that your Soul could not have won in any other way, my Dears. This is your Soul’s secret—it sets these karmas into play because it hungers for the products of healing!

This is the Hero’s Journey, Dears! No matter if the healing is light or heavy, you are the mythic Hero solving your Soul’s challenges! Bless you on your journey!

To read the previous installments in this Series, please read those above this one on this webpage.


Part 4
How to Get What You Want!
April 23, 2019 & December 16, 2006

When you are really and truly progressing along your spiritual path—the most amazing route to realizing your Soul, and also when you come talk with me, please do not ask for all the goods and conditions that you emotionally feel you “NEED” to finally fulfill all your material and emotional “NEEDS” to keep you safe from all your fears!

Please do not ask me to find that mate who will finally give you everything that you lack, take away your fears and loneliness, and fulfill all your dreams. Do not ask for that job or that business deal that will finally make you rich in order to quell all your worries. That's what psychics attempt to answer. Not me!

Nope! If you are really and truly serious about this Spiritual Quest for your Soul, Dears, which equates with developing your own unshakable happiness, you will be asking instead how to let go of and TRANSFORM your own very deadly emotions right there in their tracks for good, even in very threatening situations! That is opposed to your psyche screaming about how to get the stuff, people or whatever to bolt the doors against fear, pain, lack or loss, etc. Because if those deadly emotions are still rooted in you, they will come back! Just like Freddy on Friday the 13th!

Be very clear that these emotions are yours and will always be there to scare you half to death if you don’t heal them, no matter what defenses you make against them. They are not something alien that is foisted upon you. In fact, the magnetic energy of those awful emotions that you carry can actually repel what you think you want, no matter how hard you try to bury it! Picture how two magnets of the same pole repel each other.  And by the same token, that unsolved magnetic energy can also draw people, situations, etc. that can trigger your difficulties, and cause them to recur over and over!

So, Dears, cherish the moment that every one of these feelings of lack, fear, loneliness, pain, etc. crops up because you are being given the opportunity to heal it—at that very moment! Because if you transform these difficulties with the great skill that your Soul can provide for you, and for which you take total responsibility in such dire circumstances, you can miraculously cut through all that sticky goo sediment collected in your short-sighted ego—yes, I said the leftover junk in your ego that causes you all these pooky emotions!

Just meditate hard on this one. Essentially what you are really after is freedom from pain, freedom from loneliness, freedom from fear, freedom from want. Wouldn’t you say that’s true? So, the way to get that freedom is to dig out the very deep roots of those emotional weeds so they can be gone forever! Right? Not to protect them!

Now, get this! Those old, powerful roots are the actual energetic programs of fear, pain and loneliness themselves! These other things— people and situations that we feel we must have because we deeply, strongly believe they will protect us from the experience of those wrenching emotions from hell, honestly will crumble. They may work fine for a while, but inevitably, those hellions find a way to come back and explode in our faces, even though we may think we have set up an inpenetrable bastion of protection. If it were true that these protections would actually save us from our most dreadful emotions, then perhaps all rich, married people would be in bliss! And all poor, single people would be living in wretchedness. Do you suppose that’s true?

So, can you understand this difference between FREEDOM from the actual emotions that cause us hell, versus the “need” to get things that we perceive will PROTECT US from those awful emotions? If we keep those creepy crawlies, we automatically rely on them to give us really bad direction in our lives.

At this point, you may be screaming, “Well, that’s not true for me!” or “Does that mean that I will never have the love of my life, or that I will always be poor, and so on?” Well, I won’t tell you one way or another, and frankly speaking that’s immaterial at this point. (No, that’s not a cruel statement.)

But it is true that if you don’t root out the actual source energy of your fears, pains, loneliness, etc., your negative magnetic subtle energy, along with your outward emotional expressions will either repel the things that you think you want most; and/or your raw emotional needs will make a real mess of your objects of desire if you actually do get them!

No joke, Dears! I’ve seen it happen over and over again! For instance, perhaps you have finally found a mate who you feel will keep you completely safe from your own fears. But no matter how your heart-throb tries, they cannot actually squelch your agony, because it is YOUR energy program, not theirs. And so the un- fulfillable demands that you lay on your mate may put such a burden on your union that your mate can finally do nothing more than “get out the back, Jack!” So, there you are again—alone with your fears!

One of our great US presidents, FDR wisely led our country though horrendous times with the truism “We have nothing to fear but fear itself!” So, this is my best and most loving advice for you. Courageously confront the fear, the hurt, the pain, the sense of lack, itself! Only as that is cleared can you expect to attract, recognize and allow yourself to receive the really great things that the Universe is always offering you!

And believe me, if you are really serious about having your Soul become the primary Source in your life, you will have to effectively move those undermining emotions out of the driver’s seat of your psyche. That’s it! Your joyful Soul can’t take command of your life while you give control to those wicked emotions!

So, why not save yourself the real terrors in the long run, and replace them with genuine freedom, deep joy, and unbounded creativity to supply all your solutions—from a very spontaneous level? That’s what it’s like when your Soul is in charge, even in the most grave of situations. So, how about taking the chance, and heal these buggers sooner than later?

Lots of Love to You, Dears! I appreciate your sticking with it, and taking it to heart!

Please read this whole series for tips on how to transform those deadly emotions and get your Soul in charge! And stay tuned in for more as they come to you.



Part 5
April 30, 2019 & January 30, 2007


“Is God punishing me?” That’s what people in a lot of pain scream out pretty often. So, my answer is, “Well, no, my Dear. This is the great Law of Justice called ‘Karma’ at work, and you are the God!”

Oh, my God! What a sense of despair that can create if you don’t tune into the whole story. But the whole story is quite miraculous! You see, this is how it goes—from the bottom up:

God is not some Old Guy with a white beard who lives on a cloud and plays with us like some kind of marionettes—sometimes nicely and sometimes vindictively. Nor did this Old Guy create the world in a number of days, and then abandon us—His “children,” answering just a bit of His mail (our prayers) when He gets around to it. No, indeed!


This is the real story! GOD is actually absolute full Potential! GOD is full power, energy and intelligence in its purest, purest, most deafening and Unknowable non-form—from being the absolute Unknown power behind the “seed” of Creation, to moving into Creation as the coziest, sweetest and most intimate Presence you can possibly experience to hurt, unrest, and everything in between!

Yes, now listen! Devoid of our limited judgments, you can think of these letters “GOD” as an acronym for these powerful energies: “G” for Generating, “O” for Organizing, and “D” for Destroying or Transforming. Everything in the Universe operates out of these Energies, and in fact is created from these Energies! And the truth of that is that everything as well as every action, thought, etc. is GOD. There is nothing that is not GOD! Yogi Bhajan put it succinctly, “If you can’t see GOD in all, then you can’t see GOD at all!”

And the biggest and most wonderful surprise in this awareness of all being GOD, is that WE are GOD! “Yikes!” I can almost hear you shouting, “If that’s so, why would I ever have done all that painful crap to Myself? I’d be much kinder to Me! I’d set Me down on a gorgeous warm blue-water beach, lots of money, people who love and care for me, no worries, no pain. I know what I’d give myself if I had the chance!” Well, the problem is that that is our short-sighted view of “Heaven”.

So, hang on! Here we go through some esoteric-like paradigm shift! But do your best to get it. It’s our foundation.

When you look at the whole situation, it is your Soul that is the True participant of the GOD Self—Who is fully the GOD Self! And it is your Soul that lays out all your challenges for this life before you jump into it, so that you can hopefully “play” your challenges well enough to move on to the next level of the “game”, either in this life or a future one.

Finally winning this “game” is when you fully, completely realize, with every bit of rarified experience, that YOU are the GOD! You’ve come Home again, gone full circle over lifetimes from the beginning of separating your awareness from the Infinity, becoming limited and small, going through so much pain, hurt, humiliation, love, tenderness and everything in between, to finally come Home again as the GOD, the Infinite who has been experiencing limited Creation as You! After all, Creation is a “limited” kind of thing, and the Creator is Unlimited. So, for the Creator to live in limitedness, He/She/It lives the outrageous, limited adventure of Creation as Us! Whew! Hope you got that.

Now, the mechanics of walking this Yellow Brick Road, or path that our Soul takes through lifetimes with different bodies and different circumstances each time around involves the very most perfect rule of justice! That is called the “Law of Karma.” That’s a fancy word that says, “Whatever you do, that thing will at some time be done to you.” Remember Jesus’ Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? He was not giving some sugar- coated aphorism. He was, in fact teaching us how to best “play” or live that Karmic Law for our best benefit! Yep. He was no fool, for sure!

So briefly, everything that we do—hurtful or helpful comes boomeranging back to us at some time, either in this life or others. So, yes it does mean that if we have suffered abuse in this life, we have doled it out in some other time. But DO NOT SINK INTO GUILT AND DESPAIR, Dears! There’s more!

Your Soul sets up these courses and challenges of the extreme sport that we call living lifetimes for Its own purpose—creating the problems, receiving the problems and then SOLVING the problems (healing) in order to glean the whole gamut of Human experience! But in this process—especially in the healing process, we develop such an incredible depth of wisdom, sensitivity, and “neutrality” or unimpeded vastness that moves us closer to our “Home,” while building our ability to help others along the Yellow Brick Road to get “Home,” too. Home being our full, unlimited realization of our Eternal Divinity! So, sometimes this process is called being in greater alignment with our Soul, which describes becoming more aware of the conscious, wise choices that our Soul offers us, and taking them.

This is a road that all Souls travel in our “8.4 million lifetimes, half of them in water” (in many different forms!). So, you can see that now since we are human at last, we have already come a “great distance” !

And now for the corker! If we make a conscious effort to heal this pain, the disasters of lifetimes, and clear the tangled, troubled energy in our systems (click here for more information on that—Part 2 in our Series), we are taking this very precious opportunity to move way ahead on our path to truly realizing Who we are! And, by the way, these old uglies can’t reach up to grab us anymore because:

  1. Those energies don't exist in that painful, blocking form anymore.
  2. In the healing of them, we have unlocked gates that allow us to progress much further in our search to realize our True Identity.
The result we experience is greater happiness! What could be better?


No, joke, Dears! You are the GOD, and you are squarely on the road to really, really discovering that!

So, please let this knowledge give you the widened perspective to loosen up from being hog tied by the crushing question of “Why me?” Give yourself some space to appreciate what an incredible Hero’s Journey you are on, and in spite of the pain, the loss, the hurts, etc., congratulate yourself for coming this far, and for having pulled together the Courage, the Heart, and the Intelligence to move forward in your transformation—your healing process! So, as the GOD, give yourself what you really deserve—a chance at real happiness by committing yourself to healing. All love to you, Dears, and congratulations!


Part 6
The Whole Shebang!
A Checklist for Healing.
May 7, 2019 & February 13, 2007

Well, here it is! A whole check list of ways to support your transition from fear and abuse to claiming the wisdom and greatness of your own Soul!

If you want to print out this long list in a more printer friendly format, please click here, and then go to the very bottom of that web page. Click on the “Printer Friendly” button on the very bottom of that last box (forget the other instructions you’ll get there), and then print. You can also print out the first 5 parts of this series from that web page as well to get the whole healing package!

These checklist items are not necessary in consecutive order, and you may engage any step at any time. Most likely you will be revisiting each step again and again in degrees as you move forward, so don’t give up. You can think of healing as a spiral process in that once you work out a phase of your difficulty for the best, that same dilemma may come back to you again in the future to heal at even deeper levels.

So please give yourself credit on your amazing Hero’s Journey. Give yourself a break by not getting upset or blaming yourself for not having solved the whole challenge in one blow! Develop and rely on your intuition. If we accept the challenge, our healing path can offer us a lifetime process to realize greater and greater personal wisdom, contentment and freedom!

So, this is it:

1. Realize what has happened, or that “something” has happened, either in this life or in another, and that you don’t need to live with these habitual difficulties or “blocks” anymore, and that you can actually heal and change your life. Be a victim no more! Studying how others have handled a situation similar to yours may be enlightening and perhaps give you some comfort in knowing that you are not the only one.

2. If you are living in proximity to your abuser, find a way to separate yourself from them. Do not play an enabling role to any abuser! You may have to develop your ability to financially support yourself, etc. Establish your own safe boundaries and stick to them! Protect your children from abuse— perhaps from your spouse, from an abusive teacher, or even yourself! Support your children’s own power and ability to protect themselves. Educate them to be aware and protect themselves from threat, and grow their insight and personal integrity.

3. Kundalini Yoga and Meditation are the most amazingly effective tools that I have ever witnessed to turn around pain of any kind! Please click here to refer to Part 2 of this series, “The Rid-X Story” for more info on that. In addition, regular strong exercise, rest, relaxation, fun, being in nature, learning something new, hanging with other folks—old friends or new, cleaning out your nest, and change of scenery can help immensely!

4. Check your diet! Sugar, chemicals—including non-Rx drugs, white flour, processed foods, alcohol and binging can turn up the decibels of your pain and even be addictive. Initially when you consume them, they may seem to dull your pain, give you happiness, but then you crash to depths otherwise unknown! So, it’s best to drop these, but quick. Instead, get appropriate quantities of whole grains, fresh vegetables and vegetable juices—especially our great green friends, fresh fruits, beans, nuts and other proteins such as dairy, a bit of pure oils, small amounts of complex sugars such as honey or Sucanat, herbal and detoxifying teas, and lots and lots of pure, refreshing water. Organic raw foods offer the most terrific nourishment! Become a wonderful cook to delight and support yourself with the great mental and physical health that comes with great nutrition! Reasonable natural supplements can support you as well.

5. Go beyond using your abuse or difficulties as a badge that others must honor. Rather, really honor yourself by taking responsibility for your own healing. Allow your “true” identity to develop naturally as you heal—one that supports you rather than always dragging you down, or drop your love of shocking people with what happened to you to evoke sympathy, while you claim your specialness by what you have suffered. With healing, you can allow others to naturally notice what you have developed within. You are headed towards sensitivity, kindness, power, capacity for closeness, trust, humor, ease, happiness, peaked insight, reliability, freedom, ability to securely ride the waves of challenges, ability to create your own comfort, and much more! So, it’s really all right to drop that old, pain ridden identity that no longer serves you so that you can free yourself to transform.

6. Find a qualified, experienced person to help you—someone you can rely on and trust, who will hold the space of the “Real You” for you, who will not turn on you, who will be there and support you for the long run, who will effectively help you move your healing process along, and who will supply boundaries in your relationship with them. Respect these boundaries as a great training tool for you rather than feeling abandoned. Let supportive friends and relatives help, but don’t abuse your relationship with them. Realize that in the long run, the only person who can really “save” you is you! Commit to the long and challenging process of healing.

7. Work consciously on creating safety in your environments, in your psyche, in your relationships, and live from and with your Spirit. Use deep meditation and visualizations. Other people can provide only so much security and safety for you, so seek to establish these within yourself. This will help provide the safety that you need to heal without shattering your psyche. Ground yourself, don’t leave your body to keep you from experiencing the challenges of life and healing. Some people develop the habit of leaving their bodies (astrally) to avoid experiencing pain. But when trying to heal, you actually will feel the pain again as it leaves. So, if you leave your body when the pain comes up, you can’t let go of the pain and heal. Also, recover from using “recreational” drugs and alcohol, which may dull the pain, but keep you lock in the pain cycle.

8. Understand the victim/victimizer syndrome, meaning that very often one who has been a victim will in turn, often quite unwittingly victimize others. Watch carefully to see if you are repeating your abuser’s patterns. Do you have passive/aggressive behavior? Do you either need constant support, or do you live in isolation? Do you try to manipulate and control your environments, people and situations due to your fear of what might happen? This may be quite subtle, so look closely. Become very aware of what is really happening—and don’t get guilty if you find yourself doing any of these! Guilt will impede your healing. Instead, find creative ways to change your behavior.

9. Identify your anger (which embodies locked up power and confusion), terror, pain, feelings of being lost or unconnected, etc. On a regular basis begin to look at it from your witness within—as a third party so that you can observe the details with an increasingly neutral eye, and see how they are impacting your life. Then create mastery over those feelings so that they don’t grab your life. You are not them and they are not You. They are your locked in experiences that need to be healed. This is a puzzle that needs to be worked with. Use meditation. This neutral observation of pain is paired and contrasted with the following step of intimately re-experiencing the pain in specific ways.

10. With guidance or supervision, or when tuned in with meditation, or in any other way that keeps you safe, begin to let these feelings of anger, hatred, terror, pain, etc. move out of you and be recycled by the Infinite. As you do, you will re- experience the pain, but understand that in these circumstances, you will be opening the energy blocks, lancing them if you will, and letting them move out. Release only as much pain as you can bear re-experiencing at a time. Put yourself in the protection of your Soul, God, your generous Mother Earth or whatever protective, powerful relationship that you have. It will work for you!

11. When working with people in conscious hypnosis, when I ask their Soul what needs to happen to for them to fully heal, they invariably find the answer to be “Forgive my abuser.” This comes from their depth of wisdom, and they are always surprised by this. When forgiving, you don’t let the other person off the hook for what they did, but you do deeply cut the energetic/emotional ties that keep your emotions and psyche tied to the tortured pain of the abuse. Then while in this deep but conscious hypnosis, they can see why the other person—in his or her karmic chain did what they did, and what their role was as the abused person. They really see and understand the balance of the scales, thereby gaining powerful wisdom and confidence in their own Soul’s march to greatness!

12. Capture the understanding, wisdom and power of the experienced and freed up psyche and Soul! Be open to every situation that comes to you, knowing that you have the ability to create and dance with it, and not be trapped or cowed by it. You have freed yourself of restrictions, of fears and disempowering habits of your mind and emotions. Allow your identity to be this magnificent Being who is the genuine Hero and who has walked the Warrior’s Path with courage and dignity! Rely on this open and available power and insight that you have developed and discovered within! It is yours. Own it completely! Have total confidence and lots of fun being in the powerful, present, creative moment!

13. Take every opportunity to love yourself, care for yourself and appreciate yourself in the most humble way! That is not self serving or agrandizing. Rather, in full, complete humility, realize that you in fact are the essence of the God, and it is your privilege to treat yourself and others with kindness and respect! What more can be said, O Precious One?


Part 7
Wendy's Rebuttal on Karma and Forgiveness!
February 27, 2007
Wendy from Australia had a lot of questions about some things that I said in this series.  Here is our full exchange. 
Thanks for caring so deeply for the abused, and for the opportunity to clarify these points, Dear!
Hello Siri-Gian,

Again, thank you for your newsletter number 5 of the series “Lions, Tigers and Bears: Healing the Difficulties of Abuse."  I have been really enjoying your articles.  I feel I have to comment though on the paragraph that said if you are being abused or have been abused you must have doled it out in some other lifetime.  I FOUND THAT COMMENT OPENED UP A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS!

There are no lessons in sexual abuse.  There are no lessons in any kind of abuse really. I do think a lot of pain takes place, a lot of confusion, a lot of distrust, and a road of trying to make something of it.  I do believe we are in control of how we cope with it, but I do not see that a 3 year old girl who gets bashed by a father or mother doled it out in a previous life.  

Here in Australia 1 in 4 children are abused and I think the only lesson in this—if there is to be a lesson, is to be a voice for all the little children, adolescents and grown adults who struggle to understand why.  Not to put it on them that they did this in a previous life and that’s why it’s happening to them now. What about the abuser?  Again to me that sounds like they don’t know what they are doing, but at their next life it will happen back to them. As a parent of 3 gorgeous cherubs 4, 13 and 16, I CHOOSE AS A GOD NOT TO ABUSE MY CHILDREN. 

So every adult that abuses their children or someone else’s children has a choice to abuse or not.  And that comes back to saying that we are God and in control.  I agree.  But please, when you see a little child being abused I cannot see that she is getting her karma back for what she did in a previous life. We need to be the voice for these children.

As for the adults that abuse, there is only one word for them—“jail.”  I like to think my arms are wings of an angel, and when you wrap these children up you are hugging them with your angel wings and letting them know how precious they are.  And parents who abuse their children don’t deserve to be parents. 

Abused children doled it out in a previous life?  The answer is no.

Love, Wendy



My Dear,


It is just fine to deny that the abused person doled out that same stuff in a previous life.  I am not trying to impose a belief system on you.


But I just want to point out that you have eloquently described the "lesson" that you have learned, or the consciousness that you have gained in your very difficult process.  You are now the God, the Protective Angel who chooses to protect all children.  Good work, Dear! 


There are many others in your situation who only know how to pass this ugliness on to other generations.




Lots of Love,

Siri Gian



Hello, Siri-Gian,

Thank you for your reply.  I just have to express again a couple of things to you. I am denying that little children who get bashed by their father doled it out in a previous life. The other day a little 3 year old girl was beaten to death by her father in Sydney, Australia.  It was splashed all over the country in the papers.  Are you telling me she got her karma back? There certainly is no lesson for her to learn.  She is now dead.  And for the abuser—how does a family forgive him as in your article in your series “The Whole Shebang,” point number 11?     

FORGIVE THE ABUSER?   How does a grandmother forgive her son for abusing and killing HER GRAND DAUGHTER?  How does the grandmother go not holding her little grandchild anymore, and as you said in point # 11, “Forgive the abuser?”  You make it sound like its all OK to run around the country side abusing kids and that they deserve it because of the karma.  Well, it’s not OK!

As I said, in Australia 1 in 4 children are abused. That to me sounds like there are a lot of ugly abusers on the loose with rights. There are no rights for the abused.  What’s the lesson for them?  You also make it sound like they are doing what they are meant to be doing in hurting little children.  

And it doesn’t stop there!  It happens to teenagers and women every where in the world.  I know I have grown through my experience and I also realize there is something very special about me.  And yes, I have become a wingless angel, but there is no excuse for abuse.  To me the abuser has the problem, not the little girl.  

I spoke to Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra in Melbourne six years ago at a conference.  Louise told me we need to pick these abused people up and help give them self worth because the abuser will only pull them down more.  We need to help these people and remove the abusers from their life.  I am so sorry we do not agree on this part.  I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. The rest of your articles are awesome.  

Love, Wendy


Dear Wendy,


In no way am I saying that it is all right to abuse anyone!  Never, ever is it all right to abuse anyone!  I can think of no more terrible evil.  And Louise Hay was right on when she said that "we need to pick these abused people up and help give them self worth because the abuser will only pull them down more." 


We must also pray hard for all who have been abused and even killed in order to help change the vibrations that perpetuate this terrible cause and effect.  Abuse is the most awful and degrading crime!  To understand the laws-of-karma does not lessen the terrible hurt and ugliness that is put onto its victims! 


It does not lessen the kindness, the pity, the compassion and the care that we owe to these dear victims.  No way!   When thinking of, or working with one who has been abused, you never, ever bring the "karma" thing into the equation.  You deal front and center, in the here and now with kindness and healing for that person in their innocence. 


Did you read that forgiving your abuser does not let them off the hook?  They are guilty as hell!  They should be punished and kept behind bars or whatever other restraints (perhaps pharmaceutical castration in my opinion).  But you will let the Lord and the state take care of their punishment.  If necessary, you will call the police to stop their abusing, and testify against them.  You will use every tactic to quit their continuing such terrible habits.


And there is one more very sad thing.  Those traumatized little dear children may have had their psyches so wrecked that they grow up to become the abusers themselves.  So, this becomes a very complicated mess!



But what I hear in you is a deep hatred and anger that won't go away.  I suspect that those emotions cause you lots of difficulties, both mentally and physically.  So, the reason for forgiving the abuser is to unhook yourself from those terrible hatreds so that you can live in peace.  Forgiving your abuser is for you, not for the abuser. 


The object of the abused forgiving is for the abused to get well, and finally live in neutrality so that you can reclaim your life after all.  It is to finally rid yourself of the abuser taking your psyche hostage and emotionally keeping you a victim.  This forgiveness cuts the very real and strong ties of hatred, hurt, constant pain and unrest suffered by the abused.  It does not forgive the abuser of guilt, of punishment, of responsibility for their crime. 


For the abused to finally get to the point where they forgive their abuser, which could be a life time process, gives the abused the ability to finally heal him or her self fully of the torment they constantly suffer, and in graciousness, take charge of their own lives without constantly giving themselves over to the pain suffered at the hands of the abuser.


Does this make sense to you?


Lots of Love,


Siri Gian



Good Morning, Siri-Gian,

Thank you for your e-mail. Yes you have described it brilliantly, and yes it makes sense to me.  When you said you hear hatred and anger in me, I know that that is my desire to be a voice for helping the abused.  I am not angry to the degree it runs my life.  We have a pretty normal home.  Three cherubs and I do the school run.  I’m on school tuck shop and generally just mum stuff.  And most importantly I take care of myself so I can take good care of my husband and children.  Some days it’s challenging, others it’s just plain out awesome.

I am a qualified masseur, which I have no desire to do.  I don’t want the smelly bodies [LAUGH OUT LOUD].  I have a diploma in journalism specializing in children’s writing, and that’s the road I wish to travel.  I have just completed a gorgeous children’s book and am in the process of trying to get an agent and have it published.  So my life is exciting but I have to say, the voice for abused children, women and teenagers will always be very strong.  I know I even teach my mother about self esteem just in every day situations [SAD REALLY].  I am so pleased that your e-mail described for me.  There are also other gifted angels like your self that can be a voice.  Thank you.  Have an awesome day!

Lots of Love, Wendy



Dear Wendy,


Thanks for your lovely and bright e-mail!  Do you suppose that you will ever write a children's book on how to heal from abuse, or for a child to learn how to set up their boundaries and how to enforce them or get help? 


Another question.  You brought up some very valid points, ones that evidently need more explaining.  Would you mind if I used our exchange as our newsletter for Feb. 27?  I would move a few things around, check the spelling and you could use your name, your initial or be anonymous.  I would check out the completed copy with you before I sent it out.  Are you willing?


Lots of Love,





Good Afternoon Siri-Gian,


Thank you for replying to my e-mails. I would be honoured for you to use our exchange for the February 27th newsletter.  I am sure there are a lot of people in this world that a newsletter like this could give positive strength to.  You have my blessing!


Lots of Love, Wendy



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