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Soul Guides to Self-Love

June 16, 2014


The following article is from a participant of one of my courses called, “Relentless Self-Love!”  In this course, the participants daily are doing the meditation “Breaking the Mask,” ( ), and reading the articles that precede each class.  Then they are to spend time with their own Divine Soul, their most cozy and Real Self ( ) to get Its answer on one question each week before class.  Then they report that answer.

It is truly apparent that our Soul’s really do give us the very most personal wisdom, love and guidance to heal ourselves and move to the next step of freedom, joy and self/Self Love!  Soul’s answer to each of our students was so inspiring and expressing Truth in each person’s particular situation.  But I just want you to hear Rachel’s Soul’s answer from this week.  Maybe it will help you, and it would be great if you actually asked your own Soul this question to get the best answer for you!

The question posed for Soul for this week is:

What difficulty did you find lurking within that keeps you from loving yourself?  What was the root cause?  How does Soul lead you to heal it?

Rachel’s Soul’s Answer is:

The difficulties do all stem from the same place, though they manifest differently.   They all have to do with a panicked striving on my part to keep circumstances right and people happy so that I’m not abandoned, but also so that I’m not attacked, as my mother did for years and as I experienced in relationships as well as in current struggles with my partner’s ex-wife.

But the attacks also have to do with abandonment, or more accurately, Soul has told me they have to do with a LACK of love. This is what we all want--to feel love. It’s what we are made of and from where life itself springs. Love that is pure never feels bad or intends to injure or assault. Love intends joy.  Love is awe and respect and hope.

As I sank into the comfort of Soul, I felt so soothed and cradled by the most loving part of myself, the wisest part of myself. I also felt guides (Guru Ram Das, Yogi Bhajan, Baba Siri Chand, Adi Shakti/Divine Mother) present.  I’ve had this experience with myself before…it’s as if the Rachel who is present has all of the answers….or more accurately, has the ONE answer.

 She has a simplicity, a largeness, and a goodness that is indestructible, not in that she wears armor, but that she just is what she is. A Goddess, I want to say, who has lived for eons and has an eternity about her that is awe-inspiring.  In her presence, I feel like a child who has become distracted with details, who has taken those details and played with them like toys that matter and furiously tried to turn them into something that matters in an attempt to stave off attacks from my mother.

This image of myself is so dead on, so accurate, and Soul giggled with me a little bit over the silliness of the image. Slight sadness sets in that I’ve allowed this to happen, but Soul cuddles me and reminds me that it’s part of the learning process—that making these mistakes is like experimentation with the world around me. It’s OK, Soul says. Make a mess! It’s nothing we can’t clean up. In fact, we don’t have to clean it up. We can just BE differently.

At this point, I understand these images and metaphors, but I ask Soul, “HOW? How do I BE differently and how do I do that consistently?”  Soul IMMEDIATELY says, “Keep your dates with me!!”(Dates with Soul are times sitting and conversing with Soul.)  I acknowledge that consistency with our time together and maintaining the connection with Soul, the guides, and Consciousness is something I’ve lacked.

“You get it backwards,” Soul says, “When you lose connection.”  Backwards meaning I reverse responsibility…the world, others, circumstances become responsible.  If I come from Soul, as the reading (the text for this particular class) says, everything changes. It’s the consistency that needs work. “If you exist in flawless, consistent, and complete love, no attack matters,” Soul says. “Build your world on a foundation of love, not fear,” Soul says.

I rest in this for a while and forgive myself for the childishness and give myself room to I do this, there is a simultaneous letting go of a part of my identity that believes it lives a life under attack. This is a dearly held story, and I see clearly that it is time to say goodbye.

At this point, I don’t know quite where to begin this new self-building, and Soul reminds me to “allow and love.”  She says, “Joy is medicine,” and that if I am no longer maintaining defenses against the next onslaught, then I will have more room to immerse in that joy. “No more sleeping with one eye open,” she says. “See all that is beautiful around you and treasure the love you have found in others and in yourself and in your guides.”

I was then guided to do focused heart breath ( ) toward two particular individuals whom I perceive as hostile. The heart breath felt different than usual….sometimes, I feel a sense of my chest caving in….but this time, it felt like a pump that was very supported by my abdomen. I could almost see the bright air coming into my nose, chest, lungs, stomach, and then my diaphragm, firmer than usual, sort of pumped the air out of my heart center, but as it left, it left in an upward angle. I felt these individuals very near to me, and I kept up the heart breath until it felt appropriate to stop.

After my meditation was complete, I asked Soul why these individuals are brought to me over and over, and Soul responded, “So that you can perfect your love.”  I feel that this is a great honor, that this would be my task.


Copyright:  Rachel Crockett,  , 2014.

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 Going Through Hell to Get to Heaven!

By Amrit Kaur

May 24, 2011


From Siri-Gian:

You may remember Amrit Kaur!  She has been through so many extremely heavy situations in her life--a car crash that left her with a debilitating traumatic brain injury, a court case that was mangled by her lawyers so that she gained nothing to support herself, threat of losing her home, being stalked for years, taking care of her abusive mother, the death of her best friend, and more.  But she took Amrit, Sikh baptism about a year and a half ago and has truly relied on the grace, direction and comfort of those great Beings who are available to all of us to move into such a profound experience of non-attachment and neutrality that allows full Light to penetrate and radiate.  Be inspired!


Giving All to Become All

I have been trying to write this email for weeks now and for whatever reason it was not to be until today, so here it is. As you know I have been going through some pretty amazing challenges--blessings and let me say what incredible blessings they have been. I have said that I have had a complete nervous and physical breakdown.  Of course we know that to be true, but what I have come to notice is people have taken that to mean I have had a mental breakdown and have lost my mind.  Amazing!  But let me say that cannot be any further from the truth, not mental just physical. I am still here in all my full glory and beauty in full gratitude. 

I will not go into it all at this time unless of course you wish to know all that has happened with me.  But for now I wish to share the highlights of my blessings and gifts I have received. They are unbelievable and priceless to me and hopefully others will be able to appreciate them as well someday.   So here we go: 

I have been shown that to be a Khalsa, it is not just a new last name as some might think, or a new identity, but it is a STATE OF BEING, a new being of person, a truly humbling giving of your head to Guru Gobind Singh, a feeling and state of grace that you only get when you make the conscious choice to give your head and be the warrior you are for the people, a true gift of your soul. I GET IT NOW.  

The collapsing of my physical body was the releasing of all my old war wounds of lifetimes past.  The excruciating pain I was experiencing was the releasing of emotions of angers, hurts, betrayals given and received from lifetimes.  The confusions of thoughts, perceptions, visions blurred, etc. was/is the amazing process of the creation of being completely rewired to the satisfaction of my soul, Baba Siri Chand and Yogi Bhajan, Guru Ram Das, Guru Gobind Singh and more.  What incredible beauty and gifts I have been gifted with and am now able to acknowledge. 

The internal journeys of insights, healings, visions and knowings are priceless--to live and be shown the insanities of the times to come so that I may be able to understand them and help people go through them with grace and not fear so that they may hear their souls guide them and help them grow.  Imagine being able to help like that.

I am so excited and blessed.  To be pushed beyond my self-imposed limits known and not known and freed from these walls to freedom and peace, words cannot explain.  To know the levels of trust and surrender and commitment needed to walk this road in love and grace not only for my future but for the future of us all.

I now know with all my heart and soul that I can and will lead, teach, heal and help all that I can with joy, love and the confidence of one who has been blessed to be able to experience the true path of the warrior with all the grace and love of the gurus that showed me the way in the best way possible.  Now I understand what mastery means from what Yogi Bhajan, Baba Siri Chand and Guru Ram Das kept telling me.  I get it and am grateful beyond what words can express. These are the highlights and I cannot thank you enough for being there for me.  May all the Gurus’ blessings be bestowed upon you, with all my love and light.  Amrit Kaur

PS:  It is funny that you mention neutral because that is one of the things I left out here. Remember when I kept telling you that I felt dead?  Well that was not dead, but what it was and is the state of being in neutral, the place of no emotion, the place of complete non-attachment to all that is, the place of silence of the soul.  It was and is quite amazing to experience.   I am truly blessed.

From Siri-Gian Kaur:  We know that the object of the spiritual life is to be “dead while yet alive.”  And that is what Amrit Kaur is explaining!


Copyright 2011


Nirmaldeep Kaur is such a lovely and attuned student of Soul!  She spent a lot of time working in India where she met her husband Girish.  They now live in New Jersey, where she continues to do personal Ayurvedic chefing in addition to her other work. Here is her account of her Mother’s Day Weekend!


God Came for the Weekend!

May 10, 2011

A dear friend and local chef has been working on a lifelong calling, a series of films entitled "Holy Kitchens" about the sacredness of food and our relationship to it, in service to others. His first film, "True Business" actually focused on the Sikh langar. :)

Anyway, in his second documentary on the role of food and service in Hinduism, he'd ask me to offer my own personal perspective on the concept of "Adithi Devo Bhava" which means "the guest is God".  Always happy to wax philosophic about my love for Mother India and all that she's taught me, I spoke for a few minutes about how when I had moved to India in 2005, an older couple (strangers to me) took me in for 3 weeks.  

Every day they prepared each and every meal for me, organized my transportation to and from my new job, took me shopping for new wares etc., and ultimately helped me find a new apartment, negotiate rent and move in. They were so kind and eager to help.  They never seemed to feel that in providing for me, that they would have less for themselves-- less time, less food. Giving was simply a way for them to express gratitude.

“Please don't thank us,” they would say over and over.

I began to understand that their actions were spurred by their faith in the law of abundance. And their selfless service to me was really in service to God.  It was truly a heart opening and humbling experience. Life changing, really.

And so, my three minutes of fame and joy in recounting this story on screen is slated for Saturday at the filmfest at noon. Thursday night, my mother and I confirm our arrangements - she'll come on the train Friday mid-day to stay with my husband and I overnight, 2 nights. She's keen to see the film.  We'll celebrate Mother's Day, but I ask her too, if she's amenable to going with the flow and joining us on some other previously scheduled social engagements this weekend. She says she's game.

Later that morning, I get a text from my husband. Seems his friend and colleague Vijay is in Los Angeles and has booked some meetings in NYC. He's taking the red-eye and lands at 5:30 AM Fri.  Girish offers him to stay with us.

And... temporary amnesia sets in. I forget that this guest is also God and get perturbed that my husband would agree to host him when my mother was coming. We'd also already committed to other social events throughout the weekend. Did Vijay NOT know EARLIER that he would be coming to NYC for business meetings?

My husband, an Indian himself, is much more attuned to the rhythm of the seemingly unplanned Universal flow and is un-phased by this. I however tense up and express dismay that he's complicating things.

"I hope you aren't thinking about bowing out of the film," I snap. I was coming from a place of fear. ... that we'd be spending "more", ultimately draining us of our time and resources and resulting in some sort of "less-ness".

It took only a few minutes before I began to laugh --Thank God!

The irony!

I'm upset because we have more guests and yet all I wanted to do was share with my husband and my mother how a beautiful sweet couple had taught me that when we selflessly care for others-- we are all blessed. Ha ha!

There is more than enough for all of us! In our providing for both my husband's friend as well as my mom, surely the Universe would provide. Our intentions were pure. Girish would have the opportunity to spend time with a colleague with whom he's been hoping to do more business (organizing concerts). And his spending time with Vijay would even allow mom and I some quality time alone, just the two of us. Plus, my mother LOVES meeting our friends from India, she likes to *interview* them.

And so.. we had delightful weekend. In going with the flow, and not resisting, everything went more smoothly than we could have even planned. We really enjoyed each other's company. Mom just got on the train after thoroughly enjoying a social Mother's Day.  Girish's guest is still here. I'm about to make dinner before class. It's nice having more people in the apartment. There's a delightful and creative buzz.  Adithi Devo Bhava.