October 16, 2018 & Sept. 12, 2009
When the love-starved and overlooked little kid in us suddenly gets a compliment or a Thank
You, this poor little guy within really, really wants to take the kudos to itself to fill its empty self up—finally!
But the problem is that then this trance-
ridden little guy can’t really handle it, because this feeding of our poor bashed little ego begins to grow
a little puffy in the chest, and then bloats more with blinding pride and bottomless need to the point that it morphs into
that green-eyed jealous ego that ate Tokyo!
grabbing more and more of every attention, every reward—insecurity grasping at every real and imagined gain, manipulating
every circumstance to its imagined favor! Even justifying its meanest of methods with the purest of goals. Yikes! What
a terror that obliterates the satisfaction of every true heart-generated kindness, overlooking the precious joy of sensitivity
to others and to our Real Self, with primal loss of the awed recognition of the Source of those qualities that the little
guy was originally appreciated for! Oh, my! Small-self imposed cement boots for the REAL SELF, for sure!
And the irony is that even though
that little ego really wants to be grand when it acts for its own agenda, it calls in all kinds of self-defeating fear, weakness
masquerading as strength, deception, manipulation, greed, blocking of wisdom and confidence, and possibly smashing of others'
pure hearts. All this arising from those in-grained programs lurking in its multitudes of trances*!
But timing is everything! Time for our
little guy to immediately jump out of the way of plundering and marauding the Unlimited Essence that is always available to
it so that it can hold the space for the Big One. Then allow projection of Its grandeur through our own earthly
apparatus, as well as upholding that flow of simple Magnificence in others! It’s a living, breathing affair! And all
this can be unknotted for us by our little guy’s ever-vigilant humility to the Big One, uh-huh—but not to ideologies,
precepts or authority figures if you don't feel Real Truth in them, by the way.
If we could just train this little runt—our damaged ego to serve our Greatest and Most Authentic Self at every
turn, then what a WOW of a life it could be present for! So, what would that look like?
When you get a compliment, you can’t just step aside and demurely recite, “Oh, it was God who did that—it
wasn’t really me.” Gag—really weak. Instead, if your ego can stand up, two feet planted and take
full responsibility as your Great Self’s chancellor or ambassador and give a kind and gracious “Thank
You” (and you may add something simple like “God’s Grace”) while projecting the Big Guy’s
rich, calm kindness and love from your heart, then you’ve done it!
For the moment, your everyday ego has served and merged with your Great Self and done its work
in this world. What could be better! How really satisfying. And, use the exact same process for criticism and
disappointment as well!
All this opens great spaces for the sheer play of the Great One to flow Its constant creativity
and rising-up Spirit through you! This real, non-Pollyanna, “hooked-in” condition of energetic up-flow
through your consciousness is known as Cherdi Kala! It’s fun, it’s really fulfilling for yourself
and for others, and it greases your surfing through the big trials with grace, kindness and power. Try it. You’ll like
it! Your little guy’s uncompromising service and humility to the Big One makes it possible!
*TRANCES—Please see “Past
Life Trances” and “Childhood Trances” as explained in the Archived Newsletter series called “EGO,
TRANCES and TRANSFORMATION.” Click here to look for it!
a "pranayam" or breath exercise to help you Power and Control Your Own Caliber! That is to develop the ability for
your little guy to radiate your Soul! Click here for instructions.
Call me! We can talk about your little guy can switch to Cherdi Kala! To start, please click here!
In two weeks—"Spiritual Wimp to Spiritual Warrior!"
WIMP TO WARRIOR
January 12, 2016 and Sept. 26, 2006
So, let me tell
you! An ego—no matter how much good it appears to do, how grand it is said to be, how many minions bow to
it, how much stress it puts up with to forward its own agenda is a Wimp! Really! That’s because having
our “little guy,” our ego, our own personal self identity and all the shenanigans it goes through to save itself,
promote itself, and control whatever to get what it feels it needs are the marks of a wimp, not a Warrior of the Spirit—which
is your Soul’s only real aim on this God’s Green Earth.
With practice—move, talk, act, work, heal and so on only from your Great Spirit—whether
you are doing the laundry or healing the Earth! But live in total confidence of what comes through you.
It’s not always easy because your Greatest Spirit may tell you to do some things that put you in uncomfortable positions—
think of a few you’ve been faced with! Truth and real love don’t always make your popular.
Do you do and say only what saves your face
or furthers your reputation even when your Truth is shouting at you loud and strong to stand straight with absolute Reality,
Integrity, Detachment and Kindness?
To pay attention
to the community geek and actually be seen spreading selfless kindness to him or her? OH! MY! GOD!To slice through the wrenching insecurity of not having enough money, people, time, etc. to support you while remaining
neutral, centered, loving and open? Oh, please!
this is where an ego’s trained commitment to undying courage takes over. Courage to act completely from
the Greater Self is the key! And we develop that habit of courage with every little and big choice thrown our
way, coupled with evaporating the massive pull of our short sighted trances* with every breath, every mantra, every asana
and deep meditation. That’s it!
And guess what?
There is no high, no low. All is an expression of the Great Heart! Now try applying that knowledge
to your high school clique system that persists in every human social interaction—uh, oh!
Live in Absolute Kindness not sentimental notions of love! Let your ego, your everyday self, your projection,
your ability to figure things out always serve whatever it is called to by your Soul through your Inner Guidance—whether
the job is big or miniscule! No matter how subtle or overt! Whether you are called to address thousands with
your love and wisdom, or you are directed to send loving heart energy to someone who may have slighted you with a look.
There is no pre-defined
habit of action when living at the command of your Soul. Your projection can be the fiercest warrior of Truth
on the battlefield when that full-on, pure energy comes charging through your purified ego from your Great Self. Can you imagine
Yogi Bhajan always appearing sweet and calm when he had to slice the ties that bound his students? No way, Jose! His profound
love got expressed more as, “Off with your head!” And yet, underneath he maintained that rock solid calm foundation
of rarified love. On the other hand, neither was the tenderest sweetness a stranger to him. You can believe it!
always said that he SERVED the OFFICE of Chief Religious Authority rather than being it— not letting his ego get tied
up in being a big shot, but always serving the duties his Soul brought to him. A totally humble approach. So,
serve the office of healer, mother, president, yoga teacher, etc. Don’t allow your ego to believe it owns that title!
And don’t get down if you don’t serve a big, successful title either! No high, no low, remember? Lots less stress,
lots more capacity— really! Your Soul is what is important, and it will always present you with something
or someone to serve, and shove you against your limitations in doing it. You can depend on that! Imagine an
unlimited, neutral ego that only seeks to serve the directions of its Soul. Yikes, that’s real liberation!
So, you see, living totally
from the Great Love is in no way romantic, and it can take every unimagined turn possible! In defending humanity’s
right to free choice of spiritual practice from armies that would obliterate them, Guru Gobind Singh used gold tipped arrows
to pay for the funerals of those he felled. Imagine the rigor of love! So, standing up for yourself and defending others can
also be a direction given by your everlovin' Soul!
We just have to develop the humility to slavishly, joyously stay with our clarified intuition—that
pipeline to our Soul, and try to never ever let our ego out for a holiday from duty! Re-script your little guy,
your ego to scrupulously stay with that purified guidance, no matter what! Wimp to Warrior!
Yes—it takes steeled courage through
and through. So, get in the habit of being really, really clear all the time! That’s what spiritual practices
are for—switching from your trance-programs setting your agenda to staying completely with the agenda of your Infinite
can do it! That’s what we are here to do.
Serve, serve, serve! Soul, Soul, Soul!
All Love and Blessings, My Warrior
look below for the workshop that I will be giving in Los Angeles at Yoga West on Strengthening Your Inner Guidance
on Sat., Oct. 7!
* TRANCES: Energetic programs that keep us operating
from past traumas and experiences, rather than living freely from our own Soul. You can read more about “Ego, Trances
and Transformation” in those archived Soul Answer newsletters. Please click here.
Here is an amazingly powerful Kriya
to transform your ego’s trances so that it can clearly tune into purified knowledge and impulse from the Infinite!
Please click here!
PERFECTIONISM = POISON!!
20, 2016 & November 11, 2008
Perfectionism influence your life?
Please answer these questions to find out--like taking a magazine
1. Do you measure your self worth according to some scale of
2. Are you really bummed when it appears that you can't be perfect at something?
3. Do you stress yourself or others in your pursuit for perfection with such reactions as impatience,
blaming, annoyance, panic, defeat, failure, control, guilt, being bossy, judgmental, overworking, etc. towards yourself or
4. Do you have that really pissy, authoritative voice in your mind (Mother Superior) that berates
you every time it perceives that you didn't "get it right," or didn't over-achieve your goal, or nobody noticed
that you perfected your goal?
5. Do you feel satisfied with yourself only briefly or occasionally
when you have achieved perfection in some category, while you generally feel somewhat bad about yourself the rest of the time?
Give yourself one point for every "Yes" answer. And if you scored from 1-5, please pay close
attention. This is a pretty tricky concept!
If Perfectionism shapes your Life, then in fact, Perfectionism
actually kills your life! It can kill your coziness with yourself, as well as your love and compassion for others-all
because you are chasing this cage called perfection--however you describe it!
Perfectionism is certainly
a goal promoted by our culture and our organized religions. They tell us that if we produce perfectly according to their
guidelines--money, fame, being "good," success, jobs perfectly done, dressed and housed perfectly, perfect bank
accounts, kudos on our perfection, we will surely achieve perfect happiness and contentment.
But as we know,
that promise is pretty empty, or even a lie! Most of our lives are spent mired in the firestorm of emotions that come
from relentlessly trying to achieve this elusive stuff called perfection! Consequently, life becomes the dogged pursuit
of obscure and short-lived happiness, rather than dwelling consistently and profoundly in contentment and kindness that can
spill so wondrously into all parts of our life all the time!
So, here's the deal:
is actually a product of our earthly self identity called our "ego." But, because that word ego is so heavily
laden, I prefer to call that most important but habitually limiting operational identity our "everyday self."
Now we really need our everyday self to think, to do stuff, to project who we are in the world, to interact with others, and
so on. This is its wonderful job! But the problem shows up when our everyday self takes over--which is usually
most of the time. Because of so much conditioning--such as culture, parents, teachers, past experiences, and so on,
it gets wound up in its own shortsighted goals that it sincerely believes will make us happy, secure, etc. But in fact,
it's inadequately informed direction just runs us into more dead ends! And Perfectionism is just one of those roads
to another dead end.
Now, consider the solution! Get to know your Soul!
Your Soul is your most amazing Real Self, your own personal God Self that waits beyond infinite patience to be called upon
to give you the best, most reliable guidance for your life--being in ease while dropping self importance, yet becoming much
more capable and expansive! That's because Soul knows the whole big picture, and feeds you amazing direction and support,
while asking you to drop any conditions on the process or the outcome. Yes, it does take courage, which you develop
To get the ball rolling, you just make the intention to follow your Soul! Then discover
that it only wants true, abiding happiness for you all the time, and knows how to lead you to it! Even at work and in
your relationships! Really! Just be open to seeing your world differently--with compassion, grit, creativity,
trust, confidence and a perpetually clean slate. And although the process of dropping old ways can bring up old pain,
just commit to letting it all wash out of you.
When folks very easily slip into this intimate connection
with their very most personable and enjoyable Soul, they actually experience coziness, pure unconditional love--no matter
what you believe you have done to not deserve it. Along with guess what? Happiness!
So, my friends,
I would suggest that you might try asking your everyday self to loosen up a bit to invite this most incredible connection
with Soul. You do that by shifting to a state of neutrality using your long deep breath, and then consciously paying
attention to your best Friend, your Soul! You'll feel, hear or know when you are online with It! Then have your
chat and expect answers--whether by conversation, knowing and so on.
I know. It sounds just too easy
to be believable. But try it anyway. Click here to get more details.
That's because this most amazing partnership between Soul and everyday
self is where you can find dependable love, strength, satisfaction, fulfillment and refuge from self-mutilating mental harassment.
So, maybe that's something you would like to have!
And by all means open to excelling at your art of loving
your life and your relationships, as well as polishing your craft of work and development in the world. But instead
of tying yourself up with rigid ideas of perfectionism--good and bad, up or down, all or nothing, just keep a really open
and neutral mind as you actually move out of the way to experience your Soul's direction and support.
Have fun with your Soul!
Joke about your perceived imperfections and really forgive them, because
it's actually your Soul Self that has always been so happily uncomplicated and just right. That's the Real You!
Throw out the oppressive, obsessive veils of blinding worry and judgment that hide your authentic simple joys, the sweet stuff
of your life.
Once you actually experience your very real Soul connection, you can trust that it will finally
lead you to personal fulfillment in unexpected ways, as you accept them.
So, with genuine kindness
for yourself, fix your attention on your Soul's direction and love for you. Patiently let go of old, imprisoning dictums.
Surf the inevitable changes and challenges that come up by not taking them personally! Join every bit of your life with
your Soul, but don't take your life so seriously--and that includes pain and death. Allow yourself to really relax and
expand. Discover abundant creativity by dancing with your best beloved partner, your Soul, and have fun watching where
it takes you!
Now, this seamless partnership with your own Soul doesn't mean that you won't be accomplishing
anything. No. But it does mean that you might find yourself creating even greater "achievements" than
you could have ever imagined. And once you get this rolling you will probably be doing it with greater freedom, creativity,
ease, love and satisfaction in every corner than you could have ever predicted! What an adventure!
remember. This is a lifetime process of changing old habits.
So give yourself a really big hug
if you don't happen to perfect it overnight!
you for your Energy in all of your interesting, informative,encouraging and challenging newsletters. Here is an excerpt that
I just came across today in my "study" of radical dzogchen and it's about "beyond grasping" from Longchenpas'
Treasury of Natural Perfection, and it sounded good,... like what you were saying, yes?
"By practicing meditation to attain awakening
we miss the involuntary awareness within;
by cultivating conventional virtue
we miss our intrinsic thoughtless presence;
by belief in words and letters
we miss the unspoken sovereign secret spell;
by belief in birth and death-a crucial point-
we miss our unborn
and undying nature.
By the flickering of all kinds of wishes
we miss the thoughtless dimension of pure being;
by believing in our own samsaric stupidity
miss the total clarity of the dimension of perfect enjoyment;
by attachment to beings' corporeal form
we miss their
buddha-identity in the magical dimension."...
Sat Nam Siri Gian K;
wanted you to know how perfectly your newsletter touched exactly where I was today.
I had 'made a mistake' in my housesitting duties and it was really tying me in knots. It seems to
be that the last few weeks have been filled with little reminders about the pitfalls of 'perfection' and for me it's gotten
all entangled with one of the definitions of my name - "great righteous duty" . The 'shoulds', the 'less than' or
'not good enough'. All of these are sooooo debilitating... taking us away from the joy of our soul.
Thank you sweet
dear siri gian kaur, in god i dwell, and in his name i right these words.
two things on perfection. one from the boss (Yogi Bhajan), "nothing is perfect except your soul
and its beauty". that from his running orders for me shortly after i headed to baltimore ten years ago.
and a short story. my old partner tera singh, complained one day that i would
finish some small piece of carpentry and mutter under my breath, "perfect". but neglected to ever say his work was
perfect at anytime. laughing i tried to explain that "that" perfect simply meant " boy! that came out a lot
better than i expected" no slight to him.
love, bhagti singh
Don't Take It Personally!
May 26, 2009
One thing is for sure. We all get so very wrapped up in
MY difficulties, MY challenges, MY dramas and MY losses that we can’t see straight!
If you are
like the rest of us, we get grabbed, blinded, smashed and crunched when some very powerful part of our mind gets triggered
and switches onto autopilot. It punches us in the gut with “I shouldda said...” “He did it again...”
“I’m losing everything...” Blood pressure rises; anger/guilt/fear/sadness wrestles us to the ground;
stress hormones kick in to tear our bodies apart; and we get derailed yet again from living the kind, peaceful and prosperous
life that we always hope we might get-one day!
“But that is what LIFE does to me!” you scream!
“It’s THEIR fault that I suffer.” “I can’t help all my bad karmas doing all that to me!”
Well, my Dear. There is an answer-a few actually. But let’s start with the most obvious.
When our minds get emotionally embroiled, we are not the victim of circumstances. No. Our conscious mind and emotions
have become the victims of our own subconscious! Oh, yes! It is our habitual subconscious mind that is gumming
up the works by screaming “Danger!” “You’re no good,” “They always do that to me!”
And we actually believe it!
We are conditioned somehow to believe that all of our subconscious thoughts are
really, really true and that they are describing REALITY in all of its objective glory! That’s because it’s
MY reality and that is the way that I have always seen things. After all, just who would I be if I didn’t react
in all those same ways, and if I didn’t experience all that pain and confusion that comes with these powerful mind tangles?
Now, here’s the secret-if you are really interested in finding some peace, open space, and balanced judgment
in your life, that is.
When you feel one of those “triggers” coming on, grab onto breathing really
slow and deep-from your belly and keep it up. That breath is the very most amazing trigger de-fuser that I have ever
And next-believe it or not, don’t take your mind tangle, your mental tantrum personally!!
Instead of jumping head first into fully experience your subconscious’ virtual reality drama, just
watch it play out from a balcony seat-watching all the turmoil, the rage, the deflation, etc. that plays out, and it can be
a doozie! But don’t take it personally; don’t make it your own this time. Don’t even judge it,
just watch. Let the whole thing play out, but keep up your slow deep breath. Consciously let your breath support
you. Stay in the observer’s seat while your breath brings you back to zero-calm, expansion.
you do this every time that subconscious monster reaches up to consume you, I bet that over time, its strong power over you
will change so that new, calm, healed realizations can come up instead; freedom will ensue; and then comes peace and wisdom-naturally.
Next comes magically new and effective ways of acting without getting suckered in by your subconscious. Add a mantra (an electrical-charge changer) to your breath and you have an amazing recipe for baking up all the kindness, contentment
and prosperity that you could ever “own.”
Copyright 2009, Siri-Gian Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com
Khalsa, Soul Answer.com, 2009.
You have my permission to copy this to another site or blog as long as you
put in the above copyright and website information.