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In working with so many women in their healing process, I began to see a pattern emerge.  For some reason, I haven’t seen men develop these same situations, only women.  Men have their own unique things.

Now in this article, I am not talking about our normal practice of giving children special chores to help with the family.  If done well, that can only encourage a child to feel more connected, as a real vital member of the family with pride and responsibility in what they can contribute well.  No, this has a different flavor altogether. 

If you are a woman, you may find some answers for yourself here, and men may realize some things to help them understand some women better.  We women can be such a mystery, but what amazing revelations appear as we untangle our own personal mystery.



November 17, 2015 & April 3, 2012

Imagine a small girl trying her very best to take care of her mother’s emotional and sometimes physical needs!

What an extremely heavy burden for a person of any age, especially a young child.  Just when a child needs her mother’s fully formed energetic and emotional body to pattern her own growth on, and when she needs the very nourishment of a mother’s love, kindness, bonding, and support, the daughter is subtly but powerfully asked to be her mother’s crutch, her savior. 

Her mother may be insecure, poor, starved for love, feel abandoned, checked out on alcohol, drugs or may be absent due to partying, work, or even gone to the ashram all the time.  Or because the mother feels inadequate, she subtly passes her own self- judgment and non-acceptance onto her daughter as self-projection—“You are never OK!”  Consequently, a few things can happen:

The child may be left to clean up the mother’s messes so-to-speak such as cover for the mom’s absence or missteps, feed the mom or the whole family, keep the house, protect the mom from a partner situation such as an abusive partner, many partners, no supportive partner, and more.  Danger can certainly lurk in the mother’s relationships with men.  Other siblings may even be left in her care.  She may be prodded into producing higher and higher grades, etc., but nothing is ever enough.

Consequently, the daughter is left to fend for herself both physically and emotionally with no guidance, no nurturing to feed her heart, or no protection in this strange and scary world, or no true acceptance of who she is.  Insecurity, anyone? 

The result is that the daughter basically feels that she has to take care of her mother, because without her mother, there is no life support.  With no life support, the child DIES—basic, simple and totally fear inducing—both overtly and covertly in a way that persistently controls her from the sub conscious.  In this anti-bonding process, the mother can’t fully connect with the daughter, so the daughter cannot fully connect with the mother, with herself and with being here on Earth.  A habit of disconnection is created.  Depression, anger and despair can ensue.

Now, this is not thought out logically at all.  It is simply the way that a good number of girls have come up in life, with a lack of nurturing, and a constant fear that they are inadequate—they can never sufficiently fulfill their mother’s (life-giver’s) needs, and/or they are unlovable because no matter what they do, or how very good they are, they are never fully appreciated and loved for who they are.  So, there is a very strong energetic program that keeps that child—who is now grown into a woman blindly hooked into that very same routine within her own sub consciousness.  She simply keeps trying, trying and trying with the same result—not much.   This energetic program keeps her tied into a constant electronic current that won’t let go, just as when you stick your finger in an electrical outlet, you are stuck in the injuring process.

So, not only does the child-now-a-woman continue in her own self-defeat and inadequacy, but she continues to find other people or projects to support and put her full supply of energy into those who may not return that full exchange to her.  It is as though she is addicted to this behavior, even though she may become financially, emotionally and physically drained.  Or she may actually excel greatly because the fear chases her to those ends, although her accomplishments may strangely be less than satisfying to her.

Then her automatic story lines may boil down to, “No matter what I do, I can never be fully loved or appreciated,” or “I am exhausted, poor and overworked; ease and prosperity are unbelievable dreams,” or “Down deep I am always fearful of some vague disaster or abrupt change that may occur at any moment,” or “I am angry as hell that nobody can recognize me for who I am, much less love me,” and more.  Well, you get the idea.

Now you can really see why Yogi Bhajan told us that a woman should not have a child until she is emotionally, physically, mentally and financially secure and balanced first.


1.       Be your own detective!  Become aware of what you are doing and why.  Oftentimes these habits are passed down through the generations.  Catch yourself in the process and change your course in that very moment.

2.       Change by:

a.       Immediate Heart Breath that takes you to neutral and begins to free you from the grip of that old program.

b.      Use the wealth of kriyas and meditations that we have in Kundalini Yoga to neutralize the electricity of that repeating program such as “Conquer Self-Animosity” , or “Eliminating Thoughts You Dislike” , or my favorite habit breaking mantra “Gobinday, Mukunday, etc.” , and so many more.

c.       Visualize what could be if you were actually connected to yourself and being here on Earth!  Explore the full range of riches of your possible life and let the reality of that grow on you—not with neurotic clutching, but with a slow breath, neutrally allowing that vision to materialize, even as you allow the vision to change and grow over time.

d.      In your mind, meditation, emotions and body, feel the very real presence of Adi Shakti, Divine Mother holding you and loving you.  I assure you that she is always with you offering you her love.  All you need to do is deeply accept it!  Quite amazing. .

e.      Consciously, neutrally within your heart breath meditation--not from your mind, forgive the barriers to you actually loving yourself.  Forgive your mom, your relatives and other people responsible for your upbringing, and your ancestors.  And most importantly forgive yourself for buying into that story. 

f.        Then begin to examine the great things that you have learned in the course of your very unique life.  Appreciate what you have been through and how you have triumphed in great and small ways.  I bet you will be amazed. 

g.       Be grateful for Who you are in every way!  Don’t leave even the tiniest portion out.  Don’t judge, just appreciate and get comfortable!  Yum!  That is how you ease into your ease.

What a journey to self/self LOVE!  This is the way that we grow way beyond our limits.  Just have fun and BE WHO YOU ARE!


Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


Copyright Siri-Gian K. Khalsa,, 2012


You have my permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as your keep the copyright with it, both large and readable.



December 27, 2016 & October 8, 2013 

Yes!  We all need pure LOVE, pure HEART to stabilize and heal us.  We NEED it!

We need the intimacy, the reliance of a stable force in our lives.  We need unconditional LOVE, no matter how much we screw up.  We need someone to tell our troubles to and to help us think out stuff—like plans and goals, what to have for dinner, where is my career leading.  And we need someone to hold us and give us the kindest LOVE that we can really feel whenever we need it.  Someone who will never let us down, no matter how crummy we react.  Someone who will never blame us because we don’t quite live up to their expectations, someone who will not demand more than we can give, someone who always has our very best intentions at heart and will guide us—no strings attached by the impeccable, dependable, trustworthy guidance that they offer.  This is total intimacy where you can say anything and not raise a fuss with them, no blaming, judgment or exasperation.  And they will catch us to heal our wounds when we are down, without judgment, only acceptance and direction on how to solve the whole situation.

And while we are at it, how about someone who will guide us to our greatest prosperity—that is not necessarily to get jillions of dollars, but to lead us to pure security that we can depend on and that guides us to grow into our greatest potential?  How about someone who never puts their needs above our own?  Their attention is always on us.  How about someone who has the coziest heart and can totally fulfill our own heart?

Loving this already?  Ready to sign up for that “” that will take you to that “perfect person” in an instant?

Well, yes, you guessed it.  There is one catch!

This “someone” doesn’t have a body.  Well, they actually do, but it is your body.

I bet you know Who I am talking about already.  Yes, it is your own Soul, that very core of you that is the Master of your own life in the very best way possible if you just let It.  This is your Best Beloved!

No, I am not kidding you.  All you need to do is to be introduced to this most extraordinary Being that is always available for you, and you can actually FEEL your own Soul’s most incredible, cozy, dependable and yummy love for you if you just take a chance to connect and feel It!  And then continue to interact with It and follow Its precious guidance.  If you do, believe me, you will change for the best over time, you will find fulfillment, you will live your passion, you will be entirely supported and best of all—you will know deeply, in your heart of hearts that you are truly, completely LOVED!

Now, I am not saying that you will never meet hardships.  Oh, no.  Challenges are totally intrinsic to this life of karmas that we are living out.  But I am saying that with that kind of support, love and guidance that Soul will give you—as you listen and follow, you will heal through all that old pain, and feelings of being deeply alone or feeling confused because no one is helping to point the way.  In fact you will grow in wisdom, ability and ease.  But of course, you have to do your part, which is to pay attention to Soul and to follow It, no matter what.

So, of course the place to start this great relationship is in your stillness.  That means your meditative, relaxed, neutral condition.  You can easily get to that “home of Soul,” which is more of a condition or feeling in your consciousness.  It feels expansive, timeless and has no worries.   It is quite a wondrous “place!”  And it is totally real.  But when your mind and emotions are clogged up with worries and confusion, it messes up the road to your Soul place. 

Yes, this is true!  Many, many people have found this.  This is not something that I am making up.  Therefore, the most often heard direction from Soul is “RELAX!”  That is how to best reach Soul.  Relaxing your mind and emotions is how you dial Soul’s phone number.  Doing your strong sadhana (spiritual practice) every day is the very best way to solve those annoying or hurtful roadblocks to accessing Soul, so you can be much more in touch throughout the day.  And then, very consciously doing Heart Breath in the moment is an incredible way to quickly change your energy to Soul frequency.  It is important for you to be aware of how this Heart Breath is feeling. That will take you to Soul’s vibration.  But if you only do the mechanics of Heart Breath and sort of dare Soul to show up, that doesn’t work too well.  This is a copacetic relationship that we are setting up here.

Then just subtly, using your mind and your “feeling,” just move over to this calm, expansive place of pure power potential where your most sweet and loving Soul is.  If you need some love and support, just allow yourself to feel that from Soul.  “Allow” is the operative word here.  Believe me, Soul is always there waiting for you just to tune into It.  Feel that sweetness, that shoulder to cry on, that supporting hand, that strength to go through turmoil.  Yes, It is right there for you as you tune into that amazing subtle pipeline from Soul that provides all that is!

And if you are looking for the most extraordinary advice, just ask Soul and there you will get it.  Soul can communicate with you through words that kind of sound like you are remembering what someone said to you, but you know it is Soul because you have that very real, but subtle “just know” feeling.  Or you may be guided through feelings in your body, through some visuals that might show up in your mind when you have that feeling that lets you know that you are in Soul.  Or perhaps something that someone says or that you read really, really jumps out at you and you again have that subtle feeling that it is Soul.  Or how about just sinking into Soul’s loving arms?  FOLLOW THAT, because it is totally REAL!

Soul’s communication may occasionally seem strange or irrelevant to you.  Or you may disregard it because Soul is not taking you to where you expected to go, or to what you expect to get.  Or you may think that Soul is giving you directions, maybe in a crisis that sound too simple to be applicable such as “Expand,” or “Relax.”  But please take the word of tons of people who have actually partnered with Soul for years now—Do what you are guided to do!  That is how you miraculously reap the most powerful rewards such as peace of mind, kindness in your own Being, wonderful things happening for you from out of nowhere, and so much more! 

Soul will take you to heal those blocks that may be keeping you from your own greatness.  So, please take every challenge as the greatest opportunity to heal and grow into the very Best and the very most Loved YOU that there ever could be.  That is what happens when you take your own Soul as your very Best Beloved, and trust, trust, trust.

But if in the moment you need help but you have been hijacked by your obstreperous mind and emotions, just shout to Soul that you need help now! Do Heart Breath and don’t forget to just surrender to what actually happens next because most likely Soul is not going to provide what you expect, but what you actually need to help you.  This is a most remarkable process.

Now, sometimes Soul doesn’t answer right away, just because it is important for you to continue to relax and to trust.  So, in this case, keep up while you observe closely everything that is happening.  It is kind of like waiting in the duck blind until the ducks fly over, seeming to arrive out of nowhere!  Then you will understand the whole picture and what has developed. 

And if there is something that in your heart of hearts you would love to be or to have, just tell Soul about it, and then forget about it.  That is so that the Creative Divine can do its magic unobstructed!  But if you nag Soul over and over again, that only confuses the Creative Forces, and keeps you holding tight to any of your subconscious blocking.  Instead, allow yourself to be totally receptive to what Soul brings on Its own time.  Realize that Soul actually knows what is best for you, much better than you do.  So, relax and trust that Soul will deliver just what you need and what will lead you to that peace, satisfaction and security that you are looking for.  Believe me.  You have to try it to experience what an amazing relationship with Soul is.  And that happens when you turn over the reins of your Life to Soul to live in its love and protection. 

This is why Eastern scriptures often speak of this amazing trusting relationship as the “Soul Bride” who allows her Groom—“Soul” to take care of her and love her at every moment.  She does her part by relaxing and following the lead of her Groom/Soul.  And then “He enjoys her on His couch and she becomes dyed a deep crimson!”  How romantic is that?

Now, I wanna tell ya.  That is really the meaning of Soul Mates!  You have your Soul Mate for sure.  Just relax so that you can tune into your Best Beloved on the most subtle, but most powerful level.  This is your incredibly loving Mate who is everything.

No human partner can be expected to love you fully and unconditionally at every moment to completely support and heal you.  So this extraordinary relationship with your Soul that fills you up.  Soul truly completes you.  And in this way, Soul gives you the ability to love another human fully, without strings because you are no longer really needy.  Soul has you covered so that you don’t demand so much from the other person, which can really destroy any human to human relationship.  Instead, you are steady and full so that you can freely give your love and support to the other person while you enjoy the full exchange of kindness and love between you.

Now isn’t that the best kind of Soul Mate ever, and It is yours for the accepting!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


Copyright Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, , 2016 & 2013.

You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and closely associated with the article.

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People Without Bodies!

October 25, 2016 & October 1, 2013

By the way, all of this information comes from what I have experienced.  Siri-Gian Kaur


Yep!  Ghosts.  That's what I'm talking about.

Over the last few months, I have come across so many folks who have bodies, but who have such fear, grief and worry over those who have left their bodies behind.

As you may know, Yogi Bhajan told us that someone who has passed over takes about 17 days to complete their business on Earth before they move on.  This is their most active time.  However, we have found that they are still available long after that--pretty much a lot of the time.  For instance, in meditation you may find that the consciousness of your departed grandmother who loves you and wants to protect and support you whispers some encouraging words during your meditation.

My advice is, don't freak out or dismiss it.  Rather believe it and interact with her for the sake enjoying her wisdom and her loving support.  So, here a few categories that I would like to address for you.


Understand that even though these folks' bodies are gone, they are not lost to you.  So, please don't go into a dark and gloomy mode.  Now, I understand that if this is your spouse, your child, your parent, your best friend, etc., you will naturally go through a time of mourning or grief.  This is a very natural process of rebuilding your energetic self because a part of that person's energy was totally interactive with yours and now it is missing. 

Of course you will feel that loss!  But as you let God, Guru, the Light, Soul, Guru Ram Das take care of you and your loved one, as you fully surrender to this most monumental transition, you will rebuild that extraordinary part of yourself but with the wonderful infiltration or "color/scent/feeling" of your loved one's imprint.  We can only be grateful for that blessed and loving re-growth.  But we need to allow that to happen by not desperately hanging onto our loved one, but by allowing them pure freedom on the deepest level, that is the Soul level that is reached in deep meditation.

Now for a while, maybe a few days after they leave their body, I have found that the newly "freed" person continues to recuperate from the condition that they were in just before they left.  For instance, if a person died from cancer, they don't seem to have the pain, but they are really exhausted for awhile.  In that case, I would certainly suggest sending them energy from your pranayams (yogic breathing exercises).  Heart Breath is a wonderful and effective healing pranayam. .

If they have been in an accident in which they left quickly without much warning, they seem to remain in shock.  So, the best thing that I have seen is to contact them and just explain what has happened.  Love them, do your Heart Breath and let them know that they will be OK.  You may communicate how you love them and will miss them, but never try to hold onto anyone or pull them back to Earth for your own security or fear for them.  That sort of messes up their process and yours.  Be very, very supportive of their journey.

 If they need to talk things out, please do that with them.  You do that by first going into Shuniya--neutrality when you meditatively move into the space of your own Soul, and then while remaining in your Soul, move to meet their Soul.  I call this a "Soul to Soul Date."  Please treat this as a very normal thing, and don't be afraid, only neutral and loving.  They are the same personality that you knew in a body, but now they just don't have a body any more.  Also in this condition, they seem to have a greater "scope" of understanding, and are not so attached to their former points of view such as concentrated anger, disappointment, hurts, etc.  And if they had any mental illness, they seemed to be freed up from the chemical imbalances that caused those difficulties, so they are much easier to communicate with.  Therefore, much healing can happen when you are relating this way.

Now, if there have been differences between you, this is the perfect time to deeply forgive your person and yourself--not from you mind, but from that deep meditative and neutral space.  This is not to say that what happened was OK, but rather by this deep forgiving you are deeply dissolving that stuck energy between you as you realize that all was a karmic set-up, that is the Truth.  By really doing this, you can both can finally "move freely" without being tied down by any guilt, recurring blame, confusion, hurt, etc. that might otherwise continue to haunt you. Then you are both free. It's OK.  Then you can allow unconditional love to flow--really much better than holding onto any kind of grudge or pain, don't you think?


Now, there is nothing more scary or unnerving than when a loved one commits suicide.  If their actual motivation for the suicide was from such things as unsolvable depression or hopelessness, their being would be vibrating at a very low energy level.  They seem to get stuck in a kind of sticky mud puddle where they don't have enough energy to pull themselves out of it, or to "see" or understand very well.  And mostly they don't have the ability to move to the Light on their own.  My feeling is that this is what is meant by being "Earthbound". 

So, instead of getting lost in your own despair or hopelessness, which certainly doesn't help them, begin praying for them with such a generous, forgiving and loving intention.  Get all the family, friends and acquaintances to pray for them as well--no matter what denomination everyone is.  Feeling sorry for your person, for you or for anyone associated with your person is not productive.  Prayer is!  Prayer actually lends the prana or Light energy to them to boost their vibration.  That frees them from being stuck and makes it possible to communicate again.

Then converse with them in the same way that was described above--the Soul to Soul Date with listening closely to them, talking things out, forgiving, and finally the return to the Light as described below in the AKAL section! 


Now occasionally, you will come across other "disembodied spirits" that you have not known in their lifetime, but that somehow make themselves known to you now. They may be lost or Earthbound, perhaps having no clue what has happened, or even trying to continue what they were doing when they had a body, but their actions just keep repeating.   Don't get afraid!

Instead, here is a little secret.  Even the darkest and most scary being or force is actually looking for Love and the Light!  Oh, yes.  So, most folks in this condition are basically harmless and just searching for the next step.  You can communicate with them as described above.  And then skip to the next step of sending them to the Light as described below in the AKAL section.  They are usually so very, very grateful to you for helping them in that most profound way.

But if you find that energy to be dark and threatening, the first thing that you do is to call on Baba Siri Chand who will definitely protect you and help you with this great transition.  You can see more about this at .  Then in your meditation, when you feel that it is the proper time, continue with the next step below.


This is the greatest gift that you could ever give anyone!  And you can do this without having gone through any of the preceding steps already explained.

This is the part where you actually help your bodiless person move back into the incredible Creative Force for some great R &R before they have to jump back into their next body.  Actually they go back into timelessness of a very high vibration.

We are so very lucky to have the technology of "Akal."  That is a mantra that means Undying.  You can read more about it and how to chant it at .  As you chant it, a great white Light opens for your person and they can actually move into that other, much higher vibration or dimension.  You may have to ask them to look up or to look for it.  And if they don't go into the Light automatically, you may suggest that they move into it.  What a very incredible blessing that is for both you and them!

So, drop the fear as you understand that the life of the Soul is a real continuum from one lifetime to the next through this karmic play as we gain knowledge, vibration and finally real Union with the Infinity that we actually are!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, ,  2016 & 2013.

You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and close to the article.

To easily print out this article, please go to , 2016 & 2013.



Who Loves ‘Ya, Baby?


June 14, 2016 & Sept. 3, 2012

The question really is, “Do you love yourself, Baby?”

It can seem like the most elusive thing in the world—this sense of being loved.

“If only I had a partner or a friend who really loved me, then I could turn my life around.  Everything would be worthwhile then.  I would feel secure.  No one could hurt me again.  I could do really, really wonderful things with my life.  I wouldn’t feel sad and alone anymore.  People wouldn’t reject me and my ideas all the time.  If somebody loved me, my life could finally turn around like I saw in that award winning movie a few months ago.  I would finally feel supported to the point that I would have the power to make something so precious in my life.  Where is that person who can come to support that elusive thing called abundance for me—and them, I suppose?  Nobody seems to care at all for me.  I am so depressed and alone that I could cry/die.”

Hmmm.  Just think about this a minute—whether this is your full time rap, or you just get into this head-trip occasionally.  Be really open now, neither above or below these ideas because wherever we are on the scale, I bet that most of us get tripped up by this at some time or other.

Here’s the deal!

If someone were down and depressed, would you go running towards them to spend your life with them?  Or would you run away fast?

If we are feeling so bereft in feeling love not coming to us, how can we actually give strong love and support to someone else?  What I have seen is that in these cases, the “love” that is given is actually a hook that subconsciously says, “If I do things for you, if I say I love you, then I expect you to give your life, your kindness, your support to me, whether I trip up or not.  I expect YOU to make ME happy!”

Yikes!  You can absolutely count on that one to fall through every time.  And when it does, are you surprised?  Do you blame yourself or them?  Are you entirely puzzled?  Do you find this happening over and over again in your life?  Hmmm.

Well, Baby there’s a better way, you know.

There’s only one person in this world who can truly love you to the core to the extent that you feel cared for, supported, kind, able to tackle great projects like abundance, beautiful appreciation for your own self, gratitude for having come to this planet for this life’s sojourn, having the courage to move through great challenges, and more!

“My Soul Mate?” you may reply?  I have come across so many folks who are looking for just such a Soul Mate to support them and take all their troubles away. 

But I have to tell you.  That’s a pipe-dream, Baby!  Because without a firm grip on your own self worth, some feeling of fulfillment within, your precious love and appreciation for your own self/Self—no matter how goofy you think you are, you just can’t connect to another person at that deep love level, no matter how hard you try.  What may feel like love at this level can actually arise from neediness that leads to co-dependency.  Oh, my.  How very, very unsatisfying!  How long can that kind of relationship last when “your needs” are never met.  That is your deep-seated human need to be truly loved, accepted and supported.  I invite you to make a study of that within yourself and others.

“But then,” you say, “how do I ever drag myself out of this pit of hopelessness and helplessness?  I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel like this to some degree—sometimes more and sometimes less.  I need someone or something to support me because I really can’t do it myself.  I have tried, believe me!”

Well, I almost hesitate to say because it is so simple that you might throw up your arms and run away retorting, “That’ll never work!”  But here we go anyway.  Here’s a list for you to try out.

·         In your meditation, bow at your own feet every day.  It seem absurd to you at the beginning, but just do it over and over again.  Don’t you know that this body and mind houses your own Infinite Self, your very Soul?  And the actual experience of your Soul’s Presence within you feels like LOVE with no strings attached.  Do Heart Breath  to ease through your disbelief and fears and ALLOW yourself to be with your cozy, precious, divine Soul that is entirely yours! 


·         You might like to listen to Krishna Kaur’s amazing classic song “You Are My Lover, Lord!”  that so beautifully expresses your very real relationship with your own amazing Soul if you just turn your face and heart to your own Soul, your very Lord!  It has inspired me for decades and it so simply describes that most real relationship between you or what we call your “every day self”—your ego, emotions, patterns, perceptions, beliefs, etc. and your true God Source, your very Soul.  Let the words really soak into every particle of you, and give every hurt, every pain, desire, every confusion to your most incredible Lover—the only One who gives you truly unconditional love at every, every moment!  There can be no more truly intimate relationship.

You are my Lover, Lord.  Yes, you are my Lover, Lord.

And you are my only friend.

You are my mother and my father, and you are my sister and my brother.

You’re always right beside me to teach me and to guide me.

You never leave me alone, no matter where I may roam.

You don’t care if I am right or wrong.

For to you, Lord I belong.


Be sure to passionately, purely give into your ever-loving Lord—always!  Your first and last resort—always! .

  • Meditatively and attentively always spend “quality time” in the arms of your precious Soul every morning before sunrise in your daily sadhana.  Discuss your concerns, give over every hardship to let your Lover handle EVERYTHING, and trust, trust, trust that all is taken care of, even if you can’t see it in the moment.  And of course, relax to the point that you can allow yourself to absolutely melt into the most pure and unending LOVE that can come pouring into you from your most unlimited and cozy Lover!  You might have to deeply, meditatively, and neutrally—giving up any blame, forgive those automatic interior voices that may habitually tell you that you are worthless, undeserving of anything, that you might have been better off if you hadn’t come to Earth, etc.  Those are the recurring but very false (believe me!) recordings that keep you so very unconnected to your own precious love, to your true self/Self acceptance, and from truly engaging in this Life, which creates such a dungeon of persistent pain.  Try this amazingly subtle but powerful meditation over time called “Breaking the Mask!” .

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


Copyright Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, , 2016 & 2013.


You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and associated with the article.


To easily print out this article, please go to .



Experience of Death

October 18, 2016 & July 9, 2013

About 10 years ago, I was working at my computer when I suddenly began to cough hard, which hurt my ribs.  Since that was really annoying, I ran off to my acupuncturist who fixed me up.  But the next day, it came back again.

Two days later, I got the call.  I learned that my former husband had passed away in his car, homeless in February in Colorado.  He had had 3 other wives after me, and had a mental disorder.  When he was taking his medication, he was a fine professional landscape architect.  But then he had disappeared, because presumably he had quit his medication.  This had happened before, but this time no one could find him for months.

Aha!  I put two and two together and realized that it was his spirit who had come to take refuge in my lungs after a probable really bad case of pneumonia.  I wasn’t scared at all, but I was annoyed.  Immediately I put my foot down and ordered him out of my body with a promise to help him if he stayed out.  Then the process began.

Now, I can’t say that I actually saw him with my eyes, but I surely could sense him and his movements, and I could intuitively converse with him.  Yogi Bhajan says that everyone has intuition.  I believe that most anybody can do what I am going to describe, or at least some part of it, so don’t get upset if this happens to you.  Chanting “Akal”  is an amazing help to those who pass over, and especially in this case where he was evidently quite depressed as part of his mental disorder.  We asked the whole family to pray for him in their own way to raise and energize his vibratory rate to “get him moving” because he was obviously stuck.

Then back to the acupuncturist we went!  All during the treatment, he was kind of hovering over me, just exclaiming at how beautiful the swirling colors were.  He vowed that when he came back, he would be an acupuncturist just to see those dazzling colors.  Those colors were my energy flows within my aura that were being manipulated during the treatment.

Pretty soon, I heard that an Indian Sikh family was going to have a reading of Sukh Mani Sahib (Peaceful Mind) in commemoration or their relative’s passing the year before.  He was looking forward to it.  But when the time came, I tried to beg off, saying that I was really too tired to go.  But he wouldn’t let me drop my promise to him.  So, off we went.  He seemed to thoroughly enjoy that very special, calming and powerful vibration!

As you know, I do healing work.  So, during this time I actually got to work with him on his mother and father “phobias” as Yogi Bhajan used to call them.  Without his physical body and the chemical interruptions that caused his mental disorder in life, he was able to move through the healing so much more quickly. 

And you might find that either or both of you need to very deeply and meditatively forgive one another—no blaming or judgment.  This process is way below the mind saying that all was OK after all, because it wasn’t.  It is deeply meditative process that recognizes the pure karmic play of the whole relationship and you want to clear it all up so that you can now move on with freedom and without the pain.  That deep forgiving process will dissolve those energetic “bungie-cords” that keep slapping you in the face with the same old hurt, guilt, hard feelings, etc. over and over again.  Thank God!

All of this went on for a couple of weeks.  I could feel that he was changing, and certainly not as engaged in this earthly level as before.  Finally, one day I “saw” him as a genderless “luminous egg” as Carlos Castenada would describe his vision of pure Souls.  At that time, he said that he was now leaving to be born in someplace like Estonia or Latvia as a woman to help a troubled man. 

Immediately I yelled, “Oh, don’t do that!” because that is what I had done in this life and knew it was no picnic.  But the feeling of the response was very clear and solid--unchanging.  There was no picking out where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do next.  It was simple, with no question, and was firmly set.  It was his own Soul that was going to play Its next life karma for Its own reasons in this very certain way.  It was all part of a majestic and very pre-ordained karmic plan.  He had been the troubled man, and now he was going to care for a troubled man.  What perfect symmetry!

Later on, I learned that Yogi Bhajan says that when a Soul—a human consciousness passes from its body, It stays around this earthly plane for 17 days finishing up business with their family, friends and more before they move on.  And in retrospect, it was about 17 days that we did work together until he truly passed on to the Light and his next life adventure!  Now, I can’t say that he was reincarnated at that exact time because time on that subtle plan is not like our time here on Earth.  But I certainly trusted that it would happen in its own time.

I just want you to know to not be afraid of death, or of meeting anyone without a human body.  We are all simply going through this transmigration together.  And we can actually kindly help each other along.  I would truly advise chanting “Akals” , and lots of Heart Breath  to help one heal and move more and more into the elelvated Light frequency.  Also, it is so grand and wonderful to introduce them to Guru Ram Das’ incredibly loving arms.  Nothing better, nothing cozier!

Now grieving is a very real part of change and separation that may continue on for a while if you were close to the person who passed.  But this is a natural process of letting go, and then rebuilding.  So, if you are feeling grief, please also do Heart Breath for yourself.  Be content that your person is moving on with their karmic adventure.  You may even need to forgive them for leaving you.  Then open yourself to new and wonderful ways to fulfill your own destiny to make new connections—new friends, new and greater activities, deeper association with your own Soul, love for yourself, and healing your own ability to love others as yourself.  What a game card of challenges and changes our Soul gives us to experience over a lifetime so that we may choose to grow mightily through the trials that It schedules for us!

Lots of Love to you all,

Siri-Gian Kaur

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, , 2016 & 2013.

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Bless Who?  Are You Kidding?

February 16, 2016, May 15, 2012

This morning, after I did my early morning sadhana, I fell back asleep.  Then as I was coming to waking consciousness again—before I opened my eyes, I found myself going down a check list of blessing each person, each event that I am aware of.  You were included in that list, Dear.

Then I blessed myself.  What a profound experience of kindness and energetic power that was!

Every thought, every intention that you have carries with it a very real energetic projection that is both directed to the object of your intention as well as to the whole human collective consciousness that we all partake in. 

So, if I am judging, holding a grudge, or bad-mouthing another person or people—even though I don’t say a word about that to anybody, I am still sending them nasty, ugly energy that is felt by them and that will reinforce their continuing doing whatever I am judging them for.  In that way, I would actually be cursing them as well as myself to stay in that ornery energy or frame of mind.  And I am feeding that into the consciousness of all humanity at this moment.  Yuck!  Whatever our outlook is, it is mingled with the very dynamic pool of all other human consciousnesses. 

So, for instance, on our Wednesday morning TeleTalks with Baba Siri Chand , he often instructs us to bless the “other” political party among others.  That is not because we should be some kind of “do-gooders,” or overlook what is going on, but rather our neutrally blessing them actually helps them to come to their own heart and their real Truth.  How very delightful!  I am not sending my opinion to them, just the “breeze of the Infinite” fully, neutrally, humbly and in great compassion.

If you want to change the world, start by changing your own inner awareness to Bless, Bless, Bless every person who “doesn’t get it,” or who is in deep trouble.  Then don’t forget to bless the ones who are so kind and loving.  And don’t forget those who are in-between as well.  As a matter of fact, how about blessing every person and event that moves through your life without making any judgment about whether anyone deserves this precious gift or not, including yourself.  Do it not just as lip-service from your mind, but deeply from your meditative breath, your flowing energy.

In our high-minded way, we would often like to change the world, and bring about world peace.  I assure you that if you Bless everyone and everything constantly, you will change the world!  And you can notice that first in your own world.

Here is the recent story of my friend Harimander Kaur from Alaska.  She was helping a local surveyor by carrying around and holding that pole with measurements on it for him.  He evidently lived up to his reputation as the king of bad-mouthers as he complained heavily about everyone and everything.  Before, she said that she would have taken it all in and felt like a huge victim of it all.  But on this day, she chose to do the blessing of Heart Breath for him constantly.  And she also did that Hawaiian healing practice of Ho’opono pono.  In your mind, you kindly tell that person over and over again, “I love you.  I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.”  And she was totally neutral about the whole practice.

That evening she was more than surprised when he called her and apologized up one side and down the other for reporting all that negativity to her during the day.  She could only be amazed and grateful for the powerful, but most subtle healing that had occurred in his consciousness!

Extending blessing and healing makes the actual problems much easier to solve—magically even.  No longer are you part of the problem, but you are deeply involved in the act of solving the problem, not from your mind but from a much deeper, mystic place of transformation.  As you remain in this blessing state, staying fully grounded, the best answers will come and the energy to move the situation will flow.

You see, there is always a wonderful cosmic reason that we come in contact with each other.  So, the question forever is, “Will I bless and quietly offer healing to every person and situation that I encounter, no matter how stinky or personally offensive I judge them to be?”  If you don’t do that—if you simply continue the nastiness, how will the world—especially your world change?

Now, don’t forget blessing yourself! 

Wouldn’t you like to receive that most incredible love and support, too?   This morning I found that blessing myself was so very powerful, sacred, supportive and deeply satisfying.  And of course, Yogi Bhajan told us to bless ourselves for good reason. 

So, now try this blessing with Heart Breath and Ho’opono pono for yourself.  Why not live in a constant state of self blessing?  Watch how you talk to yourself.  Are you imposing heavy judgment or blaming yourself?  Just turn that around by acknowledging yourself as God’s blessing, being comfortable being you, even with all of your perceived “warts”—understanding that this is just where you are on your spiritual path right now.  This path is a process, where the notion of “perfection” is actually a real trap that knocks you off the path of Truth!

The most amazing thing is that instead of that self-comfort making you complacent in working on yourself, it actually frees you up so that you can better move forward on your journey.  Hallelujah! 

As you consistently Bless, Bless, Bless both yourself and others, you find that you live in a most subtle and elevated arena, and your life as well as the life of those around you change for the better in surprising ways.  The very real power of softness and kindness flood in.  In this way, Dear One, you become a healer of your world and the greater world.  Isn’t that why you came here for this Earthly adventure anyway?

Love You, Bless You!

Siri-Gian Kaur


Now would you please post your questions or comments about this article at our Soul Answer Tribe page at .  Thanks, we want to hear from you!

Copyright Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2012.

You have permission to publish this article either online or in print as long as you keep this copyright associated with it, and keep it large and readable.




March 29, 016 & April 10, 2012


This message is for the very compassionate people of the world.  That includes healers, teachers, family, friends and all who are affected deeply by the suffering of others.

Because we understand the experience of pain from a primal level, we truly do not want our loved ones to suffer those dreadful pangs—whether that be confusion, anger, guilt, physical pain, depression, despair, victimization, trauma, loss of love, separation and abandonment, and so much more. 

And since we know how very much it all hurts someone else due to our own compassion, empathy or subconsciously trying to right a similar pain or need in ourselves—even from a past lifetime or from our ancestral habits, we would like to keep our dear ones from enduring their deep pain. 

Now the way that we often do this is by taking on the pain of another, by absorbing that very real energetic substance like a sponge in the hope that the other will be cleared of the pain.  But what really happens is that both of you are now suffering.  No pain is diminished by this action.  And you may even take complete responsibility for their coming back to full and happy functioning, such as “If they don’t improve, you are a failure.”  What noble intentions.  But believe me, in this mode you are not helping them, nor are you engaging your real ability to help them.  What a waste.  So, let’s take a look.

 The first problem in taking on their hurt within you is that you only double the difficulty.  Now you have two people in deep pain instead of one.  And you, the helper/healer may actually become debilitated and sick by sharing so fully in the other person’s thorny or painful energy.  So, when you are weighted down, how can you actually have the full strength and clarity needed to help your friend, loved one, client, etc.?  So, the first lesson is to not invite the other person’s suffering into your own heart and energetic system.  This is not a mean thing to do, but rather it is the most helpful route for both of you.

Rather, do dedicated Heart Breath for them, which is an essential healing breath, and let your kind, loving and compassionate energy neutrally flow through you with this breath and then flow through them.  Stay in prayerful intention for their improvement and their healing.  This is extremely powerful.  Clear and strengthen your own energetic system with profound daily sadhana (spiritual practice).  Don’t weaken yourself.  Do take time to rejuvenate yourself, and be sure that you don’t break your own self in your pursuit of kindness for another.  Find opportunities to strengthen and enliven yourself.  That can only benefit all concerned.

Do listen to them, stay connected with them, sympathize with them to the extent that it may be healing for them, love them, care for them, help them figure a way through this impasse, but don’t dictate, which would further disable them.  As they agree to it, do what is needed for them, bring in more help, organize what is appropriate—cooking, washing, transporting, get them to the doctor or therapist, etc.  Keep them and yourself safe, which may occasionally go beyond getting their agreement on the course of action. 

But always remember that instruction on an airplane--that if the oxygen supply quits, causing the oxygen masks to drop down, the parent puts on the mask first so that they can continue to help the child.  If the parent can’t function, the one who needs help can’t get it. 

But be sure that when they are able, you show them how to take care of themselves, and back off from what you have filled in for them for the time being.  Plus staying neutral enough to allow them to regain their own functioning helps you not become co-dependent on them--that is needing to be in charge of their disability to find meaning in your own life.

Now I am sorry to say that there are also a couple of caveats here.  Some people need strong care in the moment, and can be helped to improve.  But there are some who subconsciously use their own debilitation to draw compassionate people to serve their emptiness on an unending basis.  You don’t want to fall into that trap.  Then there are those who genuinely need others to help them throughout the rest of their life—such as those who become sick or challenged in mind or body, or become increasingly feeble, such as the elderly.  And there are all kinds of combinations of the above situations that you may need to untangle in the moment. 

Use your intuition—that is guidance from your Soul to determine what is really happening, and respond accordingly.  If situations are approached from compassion, some boundaries can help everyone stay healthier by creating balance and at times enabling the person in crisis to help themselves, and thus empowering them.  Just establish the boundaries with kindness and by serving the highest good.  Don’t wait for frustration to make you a screaming, depressed or wimpish wreck before you enforce drastic rules or desert the situation entirely.  But in some severe cases, you know that “tough love” boundaries are the only thing that can bring about balance and self-responsibility, such as with those who have lost themselves to their addictions over and over again.

Finally, here it the true heart of the matter:

Every Soul has picked out their own path of growth and healing in this lifetime for very important reasons.  See the explanation of Karma at .  Healing from our difficulties is such an important aspect of moving along on our evolutionary or spiritual path.  So, therefore these challenges must be HONORED!  They can’t be taken away from us by someone else energetically assuming them into their own being. 

But on the other hand, some of the greatest acts of love and kindness, our own evolution can come about by connecting from our pure hearts to those who genuinely can use our assistance and healing as we truly give in any way that can help them, and which is sourced in our true, loving, infinite and Divine neutrality.  That is such a great beauty of being truly HUMAN!  This path of kindness, of seva/selfless service is such an extraordinary path to the Divine.

Of course Jesus said that “No man hath greater love than one who lays down his life for another.”  We have seen this kind of great self sacrifice over and over again in spiritual history—Jesus himself, Guru Arjan, Guru Har Krishan, Guru Teg Bahadur, Guru Gobind Singh and his armies, and so many more.  But they did so in full, neutral integrity of the Beings that they are.  They did not do so in their need to be fulfilled by becoming a martyr.  That was their final act when nothing else would remedy the situation.  On the other hand, the psychological habit of constantly martyring one’s self by any means handy can actually be caused by post traumatic stress disorder, fear, cultural standards, or spiritual ego masquerading as love and spiritual high-mindedness.  The difference is such a thin line, but one that is worth discerning with the help of your sweet Soul.

What a blessing to join with another in their healing, and to serve them so beautifully from your own neutrality and compassion.  Just expand yourself by avoiding the pitfalls while you elevate yourself and others.  Nothing better!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur


After I wrote this article, I "accidently" found a wonderful article online about "Compulsive Fixers."  Not everyone fits this category, but this is great information.  

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Khalsa,, 2012

You have permission to reproduce this article online or in print as long as you associate this copyright with it so that it is large and readable.



Is Your Relationship Going Stale?

May 28, 2019 & September 16, 2008

Dear Ones,

When relationship goes stale, what do you do next? Are you out the back when commitment from your long time partner is not in the offing? When sand hills build up into mountains between you both over time, do you start looking for new territories to discover? When he's not "perfect" in every way you can think of, do you feel really let down and consider shunning him?


When relationship goes stale, what do you do next? Are you out the back when commitment from your long time partner is not in the offing? When sand hills build up into mountains between you both over time, do you start looking for new territories to discover? When he's not "perfect" in every way you can think of, do you feel really let down and consider shunning him?

Well, of course the answer is not the same for everybody. So, please never accept any pat answers--ever! Your Soul is your ultimate Guide! (Click here and here to learn how to tune into your Soul's direction.) But here are some ideas that you might like to give some thought to.

Some complaints about relationships can be that he no longer engages in supportive conversation or joint spiritual practice--not touching each other's depth; his attention is elsewhere; she seems closed and unreachable. In any case, these leave the relationship dry, no juice is flowing and the partners feel drained and dead in this most important area of their life.

It seems that each one's misunderstandings and differing ways of interacting with the World creep into a once bright and hopeful relationship to cloud it. When those differences build with no resolution in sight, the walls go up and the lights dim. You wind up with a shell of a relationship that may feel itchy, or perhaps even toxic to deal with.

The problem is that hearts are not meant to be a sacrifice. They are meant to be open, not closed. Hearts are what engender the Whole of Life. And not having your heart flow can feel like a slow death.


It seems that each one's misunderstandings and differing ways of interacting with the World creep into a once bright and hopeful relationship to cloud it. When those differences build with no resolution in sight, the walls go up and the lights dim. You wind up with a shell of a relationship that may feel itchy, or perhaps even toxic to deal with.

The problem is that hearts are not meant to be a sacrifice. They are meant to be open, not closed. Hearts are what engender the Whole of Life. And not having your heart flow can feel like a slow death.


So, the first point is, healing is in order! But don't misunderstand. The healing starts with the one who wants it--not in trying to change the other person. It means that you are first looking for access to your own Soul, to letting your Juice fly, to being really Who you are! You can never ask anyone else to do that for you, and you can't blame anyone else because you are not expanding. That is up to each individual to take charge of the Great Expansiveness within themselves.

So, first get on board with your Soul! Feel it, love it, enjoy that very most precious of relationships! Your Soul, your God Self is the real source of your Juice, your beauty, your effervescence! Use your Sadhana--your daily spiritual practice, try constantly repeating a great mantra for change, do something you love doing-- perhaps hiking in the wilderness, snuggling with your kids, creating art through sound, painting, sculpture, poetry and so on. Get out of your own cage! Take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming the relationship.



So, first get on board with your Soul! Feel it, love it, enjoy that very most precious of relationships! Your Soul, your God Self is the real source of your Juice, your beauty, your effervescence! Use your Sadhana--your daily spiritual practice, try constantly repeating a great mantra for change, do something you love doing-- perhaps hiking in the wilderness, snuggling with your kids, creating art through sound, painting, sculpture, poetry and so on. Get out of your own cage! Take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming the relationship.



Next, begin to unearth the depth between you. Once you are truly, fully enmeshed in your own Soul's Light, then while staying within that precious Energy, relate to your partner's Soul. Oh, yes, you can do it! Start by doing it in mediation. Extend the energy of your heart to the other person--both in mediation on your own, and then try doing this together--relating through your Soul to the other person's Soul, using your long deep breath to power that precious Energy and see what happens! And also do this when you are front and center with them in your everyday life. Try heart breath all the time! It is truly a miracle worker for you and for your partner.

Do everything to become courageous so you can talk from your hearts with each other. Listen to your partner's feelings, their anguish, their hopes, happinesses and their fears and respect that. Humans are amazingly complex. See their life from their own viewpoint. Honor this gift called a relationship enough to be honest, open, balanced and non-judgmental with one another.

Forgiveness is the way to heal wounds--not saying that the offense was OK, but so you can let go of the recurring hurt which then allows you to heal. And be sure to express yourself to them fully, with heart and without demands or blame as well. Look for occasions to help each other, including opportunities to soften and trim your own ways to better support your partner and most importantly your relationship. Make a regular habit of this, even if you need to keep regular dates with each other to be sure it happens.


Forgiveness is the way to heal wounds--not saying that the offense was OK, but so you can let go of the recurring hurt which then allows you to heal. And be sure to express yourself to them fully, with heart and without demands or blame as well. Look for occasions to help each other, including opportunities to soften and trim your own ways to better support your partner and most importantly your relationship. Make a regular habit of this, even if you need to keep regular dates with each other to be sure it happens.


And you can try repeating the amazing prayers that help turn these relationships around, or even attract a relationship--Adi Shakti for your lady partner and So Purkh for your man. Do them 11 times per day and watch for results! Or Mera Man Lochai for connection with your Beloved-whether that is with your Soul or the beloved Essence of your mate. And for a miracle-any miracle, try Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru 11 times per day. All of these tap into the Universal Mind sound current that creates Creation. You too can participate in this extraordinary flow!

However, my Dears, if you have tried all this, but your spouse has contracted the dread and ingrained habit of abuse towards yourself and/or your children, this is the time that Yogi Bhajan said that you should depart. You must stand for the worth of yourself and your sweet little ones and not participate in that degradation. Be Who you are, the Light of Life!


However, my Dears, if you have tried all this, but your spouse has contracted the dread and ingrained habit of abuse towards yourself and/or your children, this is the time that Yogi Bhajan said that you should depart. You must stand for the worth of yourself and your sweet little ones and not participate in that degradation. Be Who you are, the Light of Life!


In any case, relationships are outrageous situations! They don't often seem to allow that coasting on great high feelings that so many of us expect from a relationship at the beginning. They offer challenges in which we get to face ourselves and our own shortsighted expectations. We get to plumb our depths to merge with our own brilliant Soul and find the same in the other person. They give us the opportunity to seek and create profound coziness. That is where God lives, you know! Don't forget, we're looking for One Soul in two bodies. That takes heaps of patience, and way deep respect, plus dropping our limiting expectations and then pile on oh, so much unconditional love! That's it, my Sweet Ones.

Train yourself to participate in the reality of Love at every moment, no matter what. That's what relationships are for! And if the relationship is over, that is no excuse to drop out of love with your own Great Self, your Soul. After all, that's when you really need that Greatest of Relationships more than ever!


Letter to a Potential Suicide Victim

 Written on June 12, 2017

 Dear One,



I am so sorry that you are having this trouble, Dear!


But it is now up to you to change your whole being.  When you have had enough pain, depression, heart ache, and more, the most effective thing to do is to change yourself, which is absolutely possible if you put your whole attention and will power into it.


Otherwise, I cannot wave a magic wand and take your trials from you.  Your trials are your own very sacred challenges that you and your Soul cooked up before you came into a human body for the sake of meeting those challenges and essentially changing yourself out of their grip so that you can open to your innate peace, calm, and loving from Soul, your true Self!


You see, what happens is that taking on all those gnarly feelings of having been hurt, bereft, overburdened, lost, unloved/hated/separated, etc. have left you with a habit of understanding your life as a victim.  All of these difficulties—and I am not denying how terrible they have been, have been built up as your identity.  The script of each incident is stored in an energy packet in and around your body, rather as though they are on DVDs, but actually they are stored in your body’s energy.  And when an incident occurs that is similar to the earlier trauma—whether from this life, a past life or even ancestors, it plays out again and takes over your whole body, emotions and mind.


But you see, we identify ourselves according to our reactions.  And the conglomeration of all these difficult energy recordings of past awful events has become your identity.  You identify as a victim.  And you continue to victimize yourself with these recurring thought processes which control your whole outlook, your whole life.  Your life really becomes like a hamster’s exercise wheel.  Your continual running in that victim consciousness actually magnetizes yet more terrible “adventures” or situations to you.


So, at this point, you can either take the coward’s way out and extinguish the life force in your body.  But then you have to continue to deal with that hurt and heaviness in future lifetimes until you solve it.  So, you see, you just put off doing your own divine healing work.  Why not save some lifetimes of time and get started now?  Believe me, it is all up to you, Dear.  Choose any path you want.  But your challenges will always be there waiting for you until you, with your free will finally give up and begin your own self-healing.



Now this mechanism of victim identity that rules your psyche, emotions and body right now can actually be changed/transformed by you!  You have done good work with this in our healing session and afterwards when you were listening to the recording of our session.  And as these packets of stored victimization are dissolved and given back to the Universe for recycling, rather like clouds clearing or pulling the curtains back to see and experience the bright sun, you then create access to the innate peace and Self-love that are naturally present in you all the time.  That is sometimes called the Light of your Soul.

So, Dear, if you want to take this on, this is what you need to do:


·      Understand deeply that this victim identity and all that is associated with it does not serve you well.  Although it may get you attention, it does not give you what you really, really want—love and peace.  But you would need to want to change that victim identity so much that you are truly willing to give it up!  This means having the courage to change out of who you think you are now, and allowing yourself to go into that neutral consciousness of not knowing who you are, to allow yourself to experience the adventure of actually finding Who you really are!  It is a relaxed treasure hunt based on close observation of change within yourself as you constantly do the following practices and retrain your mind, rather than being a victim of it! 


Now you can always pull back the victim identity, but why would you do that?  Because it is a habit, or that is how you see yourself and relate to others and the world around you, and although being a victim is so hard, you might feel that it is harder to change to allow the peace of your True Self to emerge.  It is all up to you and the strength of your free will.  If you are really into changing, you will definitely find strong support and help “from above.”  But be clear, the onus or responsibility is on you.


·      This is how you dissolve those energy packets of information:

Watch your mind and emotions very, very carefully.  Whenever a negative thought or difficult emotion pops up, immediately begin Heart Breath, .  Do it strong and deep.  Use this for several purposes:


o   To quickly distract yourself from that victim energy packet taking you over. It is that recurring play out of the victim energy packet with its powerful cascade or repeating litany of terrible thoughts, fears and memoires that is giving you grief, not the actual event.

o   Put yourself completely in God’s hands, knowing that you cannot do this alone.  Demand that God take this awful continual victim re-run from you for recycling, and then don’t hang onto it even for a mili-second!  “Let go and let God!”

o   Continue doing your very deep Heart Breath as you actually feel the location of that activated victim energy packet.  Then direct the healing energy that is coming from your heart as you do Heart Breath to that victim energy packet, or as Yogi Bhajan called it, that Trance.

o   Now as you direct the energy of Heart Breath to that actual Trance, also begin to send pure forgiveness from the healing Heart Breath energy.  You cannot do this with your mind, because your mind will get tangled up with repeating its same old stories, thus stopping the healing action.  When you neutrally send this energetic forgiveness to that Trance, which includes the event, the perpetrator, and even yourself and your Soul, that Trance or energy packet begins to dissolve.  Remember that this forgiveness does not say that the hurtful event or person was OK, or that you are letting the perpetrator off the hook.  No, the perpetrator will definitely face their own return karmas.  We are not in control of that, but leave that up to the Universe.  Rather the purpose of this deep neutral forgiving is to dissolve the bonds or active machinery of that repeating Trance from being triggered or taking us over again.  This deep, neutral forgiving is for us, so that we won’t be forever haunted by these non-ending thoughts, hurts and people again.  It frees us! 


Continue this action until you feel that the Trance is clear and no longer has a grip over you—this is the Key to your healing.  Healing is dissolving all of these old programs that automatically self-victimize you.  In this way, you free yourself from being jerked around all the time by these nasty, recurring attacks from your own consciousness.


·      I want to be clear that you are not avoiding or repressing these recurring nasties, but you are actually dissolving the source of them, like breaking an old vinyl record so it can’t play again.


·      Also, please learn the mantra Gobinday, Mukunday, Udaray, Aparay, Hariang, Kariang, Nirnamay, Akamay.  You can see all about it at .  This has helped me out so very many times.  You can get a recording of it at and play it all the time.


So, Dear, if you reply to me that this is all well and good, but that you don’t have the strength to do, this is too hard in light of all your responsibilities that continue to rob you of your Life Force, and so on.  That to me that means that you don’t have the will to put in the strong hard work that goes into clearing and healing oneself.  “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”


It is up to you, Dear!  Here is your challenge and how to march through it systematically for the course of the rest of your life.  You can decide to make a real dedicated habit of healing yourself, or you can continue to get lost in your own self-victimization.  I pray that you thoughtfully and with determination dive into this head first to cure yourself!  If you do this faithfully, I guarantee that your life will change for the better over time, that you will find that you have so much more insight and wisdom, and that as you self-heal, you will increasingly be able to help others with the same afflictions.  But in the last analysis, it is you who have to truly decide to become the expert and put in the hard effort! 


I know that you can do it, because you were able to heal and neutralize the energy packets around your brother’s taking his own life as you listened to the recording of our healing session.  This is what healing feels like and acts like.  And there are so many layers to every event that impact us and so need healing.


But keeping up with this is the only way that I know to finally neutralize this victim thing, and finally feel some upliftment, peace and satisfaction.


You can read more about healing at my new website , as well as take advantage of lots of helpful articles at  


You have my prayers and healing Heart Breath, Dear!  “Keep up and you will be kept up!”


Lots of Love,





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