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The Kindness Offense 

July 5, 2016 & September 9, 2014

 

In team sports, you have the Offense with all of their Offense strategies, and you also have the Defense with all of their strategies.

So, now let me ask you.  What do you do when another person is unkind to you, is dismissive to you, objects to you and what you stand for, etc.? 

Do you go into a tail spin and become belligerent in response?  Do you get really angry that they are so pig-headed and ego-centric?  Do you get all fired-up with your judgments of how absurd they are, or how ignorant they and that whole class of individuals with similar attitudes is?  Do you feel like your chest has been tied really tightly, or does your stomach churn, even to the point of wanting to throw up?

On the other hand, do you shrink in horror that someone could be so overtly or subtly nasty to you?  Does that old wound open again?  Do tears come to your eyes, and take you down to the dark pit of shame and trigger that old mental/emotional habit of “nobody loves me” that makes you go hide yet again.  You know that you are worthwhile, but why do they continually kick you in the face rather than giving you a helping hand, or at least a smile? Does your mind take their unkindness to turn over and over again as it blames them, reacts in turmoil with judgment all round, never quite coming to self- healing.  Or perhaps you take their nastiness as yet another demonstration that in fact you are not worth much and add it to your already accumulated pile of evidence that weighs you down so heavily and keeps you from ever sticking your nose out where it might get chopped off!

Well, Sweethearts, let’s start with the fact that you definitely are worth EVERYTHING!  As Yogi Bhajan said over and over, “If you can’t see God in all, you can’t see God at all!”  And that includes seeing yourself as God!  We are all here on this Earth as the same God or Universal playing out this game of individuality through each one of us.  Yikes!  This pretty much changes the whole game if this is true.  And it is!

So, this is what I suggest.  See everyone on the same, equalized playing field—no matter what each person’s authority, gifts, abilities, wealth or lack thereof, disabilities, and “disadvantages” are.  See each as equal partners in this process, even though most folks don’t yet understand this because they are still really stuck in the Piscean way of thinking and acting.  When you understand and fully make a commitment to live in this Aquarian realization or paradigm, then you understand that there is no high and there is no low.  We still take up different areas of responsibility, but all are elevated beings, even though many may not yet recognize that.  So, I suggest practicing that attitude all the time.  Make it a game with yourself.  In your mind just watch how circumstances are playing out.  Educate yourself most creatively in this new way of understanding.

Then when someone turns their back on you, dismisses you, argues with your Truth, and in any way hurts you, just take the “Kindness Offense!”  I also call it “Jumping over the moat filled with alligators!”

This is how you do it.  When the unkindness comes:

BREATH TRAINING

To help your mind and knee-jerk emotions change quickly, in that same second of reaction time, immediately inhale to begin Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html .  Then dive into it fully!  This will actually move your mind and emotions to become fluid for you and not get caught in those old habits that take you down.  And the healing energy that moves from your heart center will actually have an incredible, subtly “magic” effect on all participants in this situation.  Believe me!  Experiment with it!  If you don’t change your breathing patterns, you will find that either your breath has stopped, or it is shallow and perhaps becomes quick, kind of like a dog panting.  This is the manifestation of your destructive emotions and mind taking over.  But you can change it so very, very quickly and effectively.

MIND TRAINING

Immediately use the force of your committed awareness to NOT get suckered into your old habits of being stunned into non-action, or hurt that triggers your habitual defeating emotions to take over, or into your anger, resistance, competition, blaming and so on.  This is an art that you consciously develop on your own.  It takes training your quick reflexes to immediately change over to the Kindness Offense.  Remember, you are becoming a real trained athlete of this strategy!

THE KINDNESS OFFENSE

Respond with Light, Brightness, and Kindness.  Jump over the “alligator moat” to react with kindness—a genuine smile, laugh, a joke, a compliment, some mind enlarging comment that comes from Soul in that moment or that Soul has told you before that truly fits the situation.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html   Don’t let your reaction be one that is self-degrading, or that affirms their nastiness.  But open to the actual kindness that flows from your heart and from your Soul and let it surround and hold everyone in pure neutrality.  Let your voice be bright to carry kindness and beauty.  This is your Kindness Offense!  And it will definitely change the playing ground.  It is most remarkable!

Then if you really do need to come back to them (check with Soul to determine if this is necessary) to talk out what is not working in this relationship and how it can be improved, or to expand everyone’s resonance or Truth of what is going on, then please stay in neutral, in Heart Breath and let Soul do the talking through you.  Listen hard to what they are saying and let Soul inspire your response. This, I have found is truly the best way to handle these situations.  And your quest is not to be right, but to have all parties come to the Kindness of Truth among you.  It can happen really quickly as you stand your ground in Heart Breath and Soul while they are yelling at you.  But I can’t think of a better way to BE in these relationships.  Can you?

Remember, this KINDNESS OFFENSE, like any other strategy—whether in sports, business, or any other section life demands real, consistent training on your part.  Try what has been described here.  Explore it.  Run with it.  Use the mantra Gobinday, Mukunday … www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html to actually break the energy of old habits so that you can be free to move into this Kindness Offense.  Don’t be wimp in these situations, and don’t you become the bully.  Just be the very terrific person/Soul that is truly you!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

You have permission to reproduce this article either in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and closely associated with the article.

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Bullied by Your Own Mind and Emotions?

August 26, 2014

 

Oh, Lordie!  Save me from myself!

Is that your constant prayer, or should it be?

When you really, meditatively examine what is happening with your mind and emotions, can you see that your fear, your depression, your digging your heals in to not make changes, and so much more are actually expressions of your own mind and emotions on auto-pilot, rather than perhaps the other guy’s fault?

Are you finding that your habitual opinions about who doesn’t like you and how they express that are triggering you right and left?  Is that feeding into your own feeling of not being accepted, which when you get right down to it is based in how you accept yourself.  Same goes for loving you, and opening to your own creative expression, and having confidence in yourself.

Are you based in fear, or constant hurt, or shame, or shyness--not being able to stand in your Light?  Do you berate yourself or count your failures?  Do you try to control others for the sake of order as you see it, or to alleviate your fear of what would happen if you did not bring your notion of order to some situation?

Hmm…  Well, does that work, or does everything fall apart and get really stressful?  Have you had that experience?   Have your mind and emotions just taken over and declared themselves “IN CHARGE,” only to be pulled apart and smacked down?  Then what?  Either go crying, or try that tactless tactic again.

In other words, your habitual mind and emotions just continue to throw you around, punch out your Lights personally, and affect your interaction with others so that you invite getting punched out.  Yikes!  Now, that is a bully of a huge nature! 

So, first thing.  I am going to ask you to NOT identify with that most difficult, fearful, bullying nature—no matter how you try to use it for the best good for all.  That untrained, unloved habitual mind and emotions will sink you in heaps of trouble every time.  And guess what?  We didn’t come to Earth to be miserable.  By the account of so many people’s Souls that I have listened to, our Soul comes here to laugh, dance, sing, love and serve.  Yep, that’s it!

With that in mind, let’s just jump that hurdle of being stuck in that old smelly mire.  My favorite way of breaking the grip of my own personal mind and emotional bullies is to use that most powerful mantra “Gobinday, Mukunday….”  www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html .  Also www.SoulAnswer.com/jumping_out_of_hell.html  .  This incredible mantra given by Guru Gobind Singh has the re-organizing energetic power to actually smash the energetic ropes that bind you so tightly within those old destructive habits that Yogi Bhajan called “Trances”!  You have to try it!  It’s the best.

And all of our most incredible practices—Kundalini Yoga, mantra, medtiations, banis, the Siri Guru Granth Sahib and more www.SoulAnswer.com/kriyas.html will raise your vibratory rate to where your bully within can’t mess with you, but rather you will find that you can turn around and naturally love your love-lost bully to forgive it as well as others, to love all, to purr with kindness, and open to the wisdom that can finally pour through you from your very Soul!  “Faking it” is no longer required to keep your interior bully tightly in-check, because now it can relax and give over to its Real Self, that is Soul.

This whole process takes trained awareness on your part.  Watch and feel your mind and emotions being kidnapped by your own interior bully.  Then as soon as you catch awareness of it, immediately draw in a long, deep breath, begin Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html  to loosen up that bully’s hold on you, start your mantra, and then you can scream at your Soul, your God, your own highest subtle Light, all the “higher beings in heaven,” to take that personal poop from you!  Remember “Let Go and Let God”?  For goodness sake, use it!  They only want to take that junk from you so that you can just finally RELAX (a most sacred action) into your own Being.  That is when you finally become You—when you relax into your own Soul!

 Another tactic is to use the force of your very own will to mightily side step that most strong automatic trigger that unleashes your personal mental and emotional tangle.  Consciously take defensive action to avoid your bully’s pull to take you nowhere but to crazy-land!  No wisdom is gained there, no ability is brought forward—just more regrets, recriminations, “poor me,” “it’s their fault,”—well you get it. 

So, (drumroll please) let’s side step that automatic drop to hell, by taking instead the mighty leap to NEUTRALITY!  You’ve heard of that, but have you experienced it?  Neutrality is not being numb, dumb or blissed out.  It is a very real and most active state of being Present in a way that allows your own Soul, your own essential Being to take you over with such natural Beauty and Bouyancy—to experience your own Real Self—while definitely not being controlled by your bully within. 

When you are in this amazing condition, you are in “Cherdi Kala” or Rising Spirit.  It feels as though Light is bubbling up through you, it fills you out in all directions, the old difficulties can be remembered but both pain and the need for courage are gone.  You simply ARE!  All is copasetic and flowing.  The answers come naturally from Soul flowing through you in a most down-to-Earth way.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html

 There is such simple satisfaction in just flowing and relaxing mightily in the flow.  The world around you seems to glow with a special Light.  There is ease, yes ease finally!  You are patient because there is no need to modify this most timely and authentic flow of evolutionary change for the higher good that you observe instant by instant as you watch it play out right in front of your very eyes. This applies to even “horrifying” events in your life and the life of others.  You “know” when and how to stand, to participate, or simply allow.  Respect and wonder for this evolution’s astonishing Consciousness-guided progress reigns. This is where you see efficiency and success happen as you simply breathe in this Light and stay present in your own sweet Soul.  OMG!  Did you ever imagine there could be such a state or that you could live there anytime you guided your mind and breath to be present “Here-Now”?

You become simple, kind and flowing.  Worries don’t bombard you because you leave guidance for everything up to the Great and Perfect Mind of Soul.  You flow with Its leadership.  “Things” are neither good nor bad, but a continuous flow of evolution.  “Things” are easier, success happens just by submitting to the flow.  You humble yourself, your bully, your old way of seeing and understanding to just simply hold that Presence.  That is all there is, and all that it takes to be truly happy and successful. 

So, don’t be discouraged if it takes continual remembering, learning to trust, saying “Woops!” when you fall out of Cherdi Kala and just coming back again—totally blameless and loving yourself, learning to have confidence and trust the more that you operate in this fashion, so that over time this becomes your natural habit.  This is the gradual and most fulfilling way to Union.  Enjoy it!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

You have permission to reproduce this article either in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and closely associated with the article.

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BANANA SPINE!

August 12, 2014

 

Yep!  That’s what Yogi Bhajan would call those folks who could not keep their commitmenst or their word.  People would make promises, they would take marriage vows, they would have children—a huge commitment, they would say “yes” and then flee or disown their promise due their own fear or inability to stand their ground, no matter what.  To explain:  your spine is a synonym for your character, and your spine being a banana means that it has no strength, it is collapsible, squishable.

That is who the Master would dub as “Banana Spine”.  And believe me, he would YELL about them!

It is kind of like, “When the going gets tough, the tough drop out.”  Perhaps they just wanted to look good, so they made those promises, or they were too weak to say no, this is not what I can do now.  But Banana Spines cannot stand the test of time.  They cannot hold to their integrity, the Truth that flows through their own Soul.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .

Rather they succumb to the pressure around them and change their tune.  Perhaps that is because they want be accepted by someone else’s tune that does not coincide with their original promise.  Or they just crumble due to their own weakness.  Or they commit to a certain amount of work or seva, etc., and then they get distracted by other things, maybe good things such as hanging out with friends, other projects, succumbing to their own depression, or sense of what is important, and so they disappear!

There is no way to trust these folks because they have not developed their character.  They may not taken a full appraisal of what they are committing to, or they change their values or perhaps actually had very little values to begin with, or they just wanted to look good when they made their original commitment, or they thought that they would get something for themselves when they first made their promise, or they are motivated by fear or need for acceptance rather than the Truth of their word, or they just find something else to do. 

And by the same token, a real died-in-the-wool victim will take whatever they feel is wrong with their life and re-arrange their story so that they appear blameless and pitiful—playing upon your sympathy.  Yet they turn on whomever they were involved with—whether that other person was purposely doing them harm or that other person was actually trying to help the victim. Yes, that is what I said—victims make up really bad stories about those who were innocent or trying to help them.  Amazing, isn’t it?  www.SoulAnswer.com/peace.html .

 

So, now here are the Master’s 7 Steps to Achieving Happiness that are easily defined:

1. Commitment - gives you

2. Character - which brings you

3. Dignity - which connects you to your

4. Divinity - which is manifest as your

5. Grace - which leads to the

6. Power to Sacrifice - and that capacity of selfless service is the root of

7. Happiness

So, Dear One, let’s contemplate this path to Happiness.  Do we really want happiness?  Do we really want to put in the effort that it takes to get there?  How committed are we to our words, our decisions, our promises—spoken and unspoken?  You see, this is a whole spiritual path in itself!  If you try to pretend Dignity, Divinity and Grace—if they are not laid on a foundation of Commitment and Character, you will break.  Done deal, because your Power to Sacrifice will have no foundation.  Then happiness is not attainable.  You see the progression?  So, where would you put the “Banana Spine” on this scale?

 

Here is some food for thought from Yogi Bhajan from his lecture on Jan. 2, 1990 in Los Angeles:

It's a fact that we are slaves of our weaknesses and we are not masters of our strength.  That's a fact of life. Presumably every human being has more strength than weakness, but we pay more attention to weakness and we pay very little attention to strength. Why we do that?

The only example which comes very handy in the situation is that if you fall from a top of the mountain and start rolling downwards, it is so fast, so convenient, the gravity will do it.  But if you start rising upward, it is very difficult.  It's a game of sweat.  But coming down is easy self-destruction.  It’s easy and there is a very popular saying that eighty percent of people play an apathy/sympathy game and twenty percent just watch it.

Now, Yogi Bhajan used the word “Caliber” so much in his communication with us.  It meant the vibratory rate and the strength of our Character.  Caliber is our integrity, the strength of mind and courage in the face of our commitments, our ability to stand in grace, dignity and divinity.  It is fully living our Truth—no matter what!  It is the essence of a true spiritual warrior—no “Banana Spines” here!

So, Dear Ones, here is a wonderful and powerful meditation that you can practice to bring you that strong, clear and reliable character.  It will heal you, support you and give you clear insight into your own developing Caliber!  It is called “The Caliber of Life Meditation!”

Please CLICK HERE to find this meditation at KRI—Kundalini Research Institute.  And while there, consider giving them a good donation for all the great work that they are doing to preserve and promulgate the Master’s divine teachings!  http://www.yogibhajan.org/ybkriyas/index.php?id=83

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

You have permission to reproduce this article either in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and closely associated with the article.

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GOD Doesn’t Love Me!

August 5, 2014

 

“I pray all the time for a….(husband, girlfriend, good paying job, to pass my school exam, a baby, a job that I like, and on and on.) But God never gives it to me.  It’s been years, and still no results.  God must hate me because He never answers my prayers and I pray all the time for these things!”

How many times have I heard this?  Countless times!

This notion seems to be embedded in most religions.  God is the Almighty Santa Claus.  And if I have done good, prayed tons, then God will surely give me what I want.  But if I have been bad, or if God doesn’t love me, I will either get a lump of coal in my stocking or get nothing!  Proof that either God doesn’t love me, or that there is no God after all.  You can also call this the “Sugar-Daddy in the Sky Syndrome”!  It really doesn’t work, does it?  Have you found that?

So, here’s the real score.  God is not a “Big Daddy” or even a “Big Mama.”  GOD, as Yogi Bhajan used to point out is the acronym for Generating, Organizing and Destroying Conscious or force.  And we—each one of us is actually that Force—individually and collectively.  “God and me, me and God are One!”  “If you can't see God in all, you can’t see God at all.”  But at this point, we are blinded into whole-heartedly believing that we are stuck here without any recourse.  We are cut off and separate—really painful!

So, here is how it works.  In actuality, every apparent obstacle or loss is actually an incredible opportunity for us to change to neutral, to let go and let God.  In other words, to let our sacred Self flourish.  These are our “Herculean Labors,” whether big or small, and they all involve letting go of the insecurities of the small self, the ego encrusted self, that part of us that gets tied up in knots and feels that it needs this or that to be happy or to survive.

 Actually, the opposite makes us purely happy.  That is letting go and letting the God Force take care of it all!  That is the miraculous moment.  It is trusting so entirely that we no longer block the God flow with our own incredibly strong, insecure neediness.  In coming to that genuine place of neutrality and trust, we allow the greatest connection of all, which is to RELAX in and trust this Soul, our real Self, the God Consciousness that is the Creator and Source of all to truly take care of us and all.   It is that totally Divine connection and pure trust in whatever happens is by the Grace of God.  And that is the real, carefree happiness!  Trust me, it works!

Try it!  Immediately inhale to do Heart Breath.  www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html .  If you let go and let that breath, that Pavan which is the combination of oxygen breath and pranic flow free you to move into that “Soul Space” or expansion where there is no worry, only Light and freedom.

Now, letting go of those heavy ego trances of worry, regret, need, insecurity, etc. is a real art.  My favorite way to break those tight and blinding grips is by using that great warrior mantra “Gobinday, Mukunday… “ www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html .  Then those mental and emotional traps can be broken into a thousand shards of Light, never to bother you again.  Then you can be free to follow Soul.

So, this letting go is really a journey to open more and more of your own tightness to the free flow of the God of you!  So, here is how that works.

First you have the desire or the intent for something to occur, such as making more money.  I have heard both Yogi Bhajan and the Dali Lama say that desire is what calls energy into form.  This is your prayer, your intention.  And, of course I would suggest that you first get your intention or your goal from your Soul.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .  Talk it over with Soul to determine if in fact this is really the best thing for you, or is there something better, some more satisfying path to you on every level.  Remember, in this you are not trying to cover an insecurity, but to fulfill your Destiny here on Earth.  Uh-hmm.

Now, be committed to the extent that you go beyond the cry of your insecurities.  Then seemingly paradoxically, let go and let God figure out how to put it all together.  However, you may find that the Universe might give you what you want but in strange ways.  And the path to “there” may appear to be crooked, but when you look back, you will see how very straight your way through the jungle of “cause and effect” has been.

So, be ready for the opportunities that are disguised as obstacles that come flying to you.  These are actually your chances to break your tightly held trances of what your ego so dearly wants, no matter how “good” those things may be!  And don’t put any time limit on the materialization of what you are looking for either.

This is the time to go to neutral—not numb, to happily give it all up to God’s hands, no matter the consequences.  This is the time to triumph through your Herculean tasks that most probably will be presented to you in order to finally relax in trust and openness, in expansion of the Divine Force that flows through you.

For instance, a woman wanted a new husband.  The first husband was a real abusive jerk.  That trauma separated her whole family.  And so Soul tells her that her task now is to forgive her family and to help everyone heal!

And my favorite story is one told by a friend who said that he needed to make more income to support his family.  So he told Guru Ram Das that he would do anything that the Guru presented him in order to have this happen.  He was totally committed to this path.

The first thing that happened was that he lost his job that made him at least a little money.  And the only employment that he could find was selling door to door.  You can imagine how this went with him wearing his turban and beard.  But since he had promised to follow everything that Guru Ram Das put in his path, he kept up to the best of his ability.  Now this strength of commitment was noticed by a business owner who hired him at an entrance position.  So in that company, our friend actually thrived in his commitment to excellence and so was promoted a number of times until he finally was making a good income.  That was all due to his commitment to relax and let go blaming, self-pity, and every insecurity as he followed Guru Ram Das’ precious training step by step!  He obviously could not have made it to that high level without that intense training.

Now, of course there are many other stories about someone letting go and instantly the miracle—the answer to their intention appeared!

The point is:  every apparent obstacle is actually the answer to your prayer.  That is your training ground to learn to stay in holy trust and divine peace, to expand in prayer and confidence, in Unity with your God Self, your very Soul so that you can drop your own barriers of insecurity and unworthiness, doubt and fear to allow the actual God flow, the Generating, Organizing and Destroying essential Conscious energy to “do Its thing,” and serve you. 

That is also why gratitude at every step, no matter what—is so important.  Gratitude acts to open up your tight self to affirm that the deed is already accomplished somewhere in the creative chain, whether we see it yet or not.

That is how it appears to work, Darlings!  So, let’s do our parts with commitment, love, kindness, compassion, openness and excellence by following the very real guidance of our very Soul.

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

 

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FRUSTRATION!  YIKES!

July 29, 2014

 

Frustration can eat a hole right through you!  It can blow the circuits of your brain, tangle up your body systems to the point of heart attack, stroke, stomach cramps or any other physical or mental ailment due to the stress that we engage in.  And over time, if not resolved it can slow down into depression, which is equally destructive, because it breaks down the spirit and opens the way for chronic disease.

Frustration is actually anger or fear that automatically flares when things are not going the way that you thought that they should.  Do you remember our old saying “Expectations Will Kill You?” Well, dealing with those lost expectations is surely what is behind frustration!

Frustration is when you don’t get what you think you should get, or things don’t turn out the way you bargained for, or what you were depending on.  For instance, your tech support makes a mess of your computer, or just plain can’t help you.  The company where you bought your lawnmower and the extended warranty on it went out of business, so now that your machine broke down, you are out of luck.  How about getting stuck in traffic when you are late for work?  That date that didn’t work out the way you really would have wanted it to.  Your job that you depended on evaporated straight into the ethers!  And oh, so much more.  I know you probably have your own long list.  We all do.

Now, on the spiritual side--all of these frustrations are pushing our buttons so that we learn to live in the moment.  Yes, this very MOMENT—not in some debilitating scenario where we suffer from loss of the future that we expected we would have. 

Now, have you thought about “non-attachment”?  Yep, that seemingly archaic concept from the old yoga books.  Well, with frustration we have our attachment to how we wanted or expected things to turn out, and Yikes!  Those red flaring nostrils of anger and heated frustration automatically grab us.  So, what if we were actually living in the moment and not kidnapped by that seemingly automatic frustration?  What if we were actually mentally and emotionally free to change quickly away from not worrying about what we think is not working? 

Guess what?  We would actually be able to clearly and instantly see the problem in its entirety and therefore able to pursue possible solutions immediately rather than getting stuck in instant fiery hell.  Or, it there is no solution, then we could let ourselves just chill for now, letting Soul or the Universal take care of any supposed consequences when that time comes around.  Oh, yeah. 

Or we would be able to quickly move on to a new course of action without getting ourselves hooked into a hairy pickle.  That could easily ruin our day, our relationships, the whole project, and lock us into a tight cage of blaming, recrimination, and on and on.   So, wouldn’t quickly letting go of frustration be a most practical use of non-attachment!

“But,” you may ask, “If I am going to let go of frustration, where do I send it?  You are surely not asking me to stuff it, right?”  Right!  You definitely don’t want to bottle up that liquid fire because it will literally fester and kill you over time.  And you don’t want to pour that molten lava on the poor tech support who is trying their best to do their job with lackluster training and tools.  Or you don’t want to scratch out your boss’ eyes—he/she can really toss you out on your ear, and you can get a really bad reputation.  Or you don’t want to wound your sweet partner or friend so that resolution and healing become impossible.  The list goes on, doesn’t it?

So, let’s go back to the real TRUTH.  As a spiritual person, you at least know this Truth in your mind, even if it takes a while to trickle down to informing our everyday living.  That is that everything is GOD!  Everything in the Universe is Perfect—including the episode that caused our frustration.  “If you can’t see GOD (Generating, Organizing, Destroying) in all, then you can’t see GOD at all!”  Got it?

In other words, everything that happens—no matter how crazy it is, is a challenge for us to let go of our conditioned expectations, and realize that all is in God’s hands, not ours.  Oh, yes!  And the quicker we give it back to the Source the happier we will all be. 

Now that is not just Polyanna pushing the problem under the rug.  On the contrary, you are giving your short sightedness back to the only place that can actually handle it and re-arrange all the details.  You are letting go of being stuck, hurting your body, burning up your mind, and closing down the flow into greater solutions.  You are then actually, consciously joining in with the Creative Consciousness to flow through your adversity so that you can open to the full range of new possibilities.  You are surrendering your ego to the action of the ONE!  The instructions in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib are: “I am a sacrifice to my Guru (Soul, God, etc.). Forever and ever I am a sacrifice to my Guru.”

This is an incredible spiritual exercise!  And once you get the hang of it, you will actually be grateful for the challenges because you recognize that you are learning the ease, flow and profound creativity that comes with giving over to Soul or GOD and letting go of the demands of the troublesome part of your ego!  This surely springs from your very real dedication to your spiritual path at every moment.

So here are some very real practical pointers that can help you in the moment.  When the frustrating incident occurs, immediately:

One:  Take a deep breath and begin Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html .  Typically when an incident occurs, our breathing either stops or gets really short and shallow.  Slowing your breath way down allows you to emotionally “slip over” the frustration response.  It is quite miraculous when you experience it.  You do have to be committed to your breath and to mental/emotional change.  Rather than letting your mind trip you up by telling you, “This situation is really so important that you need to get emotional, worried and crazy over that you absolutely need to vent and get upset.” 

But if you have worked out this whole process of breath, surrender and listening to Soul in your mind ahead of time, you will know that giving way to frustration is the fool’s way to justice, getting things done, and happiness.  And if you don’t use this practice when needed, you shall have missed an opportunity to engage in your own “self-sculpting” to truly create your own happiness, ease, amazing creativity and space for higher vibes to flow.

Two:  Listen closely to the other person, quickly turning all the information over to Soul.  Soul already knows what you want.   It is best to already have a firm habit of listening to Soul so that you can hear Its answers even while your mind and emotions might try to stay stuck in the turmoil.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .  Listening to Soul is where extraordinary solutions will come to you quickly.  Remember, these Soul answers might not take to you fulfilling your expectations.  Rather you have immediately surrendered your expectations, so you are now totally present to move down a new road, whether that is to realize a new way to solve this situation, perhaps with a work around, or to give up your projections and expectations entirely, or to simply and divinely chill—go to neural .  Then Soul can re-route you on a better path. 

And once you let go of your strong-arming for what you want but can’t have, then you release the “ethers” to create unexpected miracles for you!  Yes, this is very true.  You have to test it out for yourself, but remember that you have to really surrender and open yourself in that most neutral space for this to happen.   Be really honest with yourself and Soul.

If you are still fuming and having trouble coming back to homeostasis, to peace, then here are some more great tools:

Drink water—lots of it!  Amazing that increasing your pure fluid level can make such a difference.  Also, taking a cold shower is a great mood changer.

Check your blood sugar levels.  Eat something if you need to, but don’t use food to squash down your emotions.

Change your attitude.  Start laughing, playing or dancing so that you really get into it, and then deal with the situation.

Get physical!  Run or walk briskly out of the house.  Put your whole mind and heart into it, no matter how fogged your mind and emotions are.  Have no expectations and don’t continue your mental fight.  Just put all your energy into your moving limbs.  Then add that great mantra to break those mental and emotional holds on you—“Gobinday, Mukunday, Udaray, Aparay, Hariang, Kariang, Nirnamay, Akamay!”  www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html .  Don’t worry, I had to carry that mantra around on a piece of paper to read it for months until I finally memorized it.  Put all of your energy into it, and then…!  And then, the trance breaks!  Wow!  What an extraordinary experience.  Then you can finally tune into Soul and get the most simple and pure guidance ever.  It actually works!

And when you are feeling blocked in any or every way, try this incredible mantra from Baba Siri Chand, “Ad Sach, Jugad Sach, Hay Bay Sach, Nanak Ho See Bay Sach.”  You can find lots of sung versions at Spirit Voyage http://www.spiritvoyage.com/searchNew_2012.aspx?type=13&searchStr=ad+sach&cat=ALB-  .  Listen to it, meditate to it, work with it in the background.  You will find things change in the most wonderfully subtle but powerful way.

So, be sure to work things out with your Creator.  If you don’t heal and come to neutral, if you continue to swim in the ocean of “Poor me, I am not getting what I want,” rather than “Soul, please tell me how to handle this,” you will keep yourself stuck.  And the longer you stay stuck in this quicksand, you more you are likely to disappear into depression and despair.

Therefore, please understand that you really, really need to use any and all techniques to get yourself out of unmovable expectations.  Give it all to GOD, or Soul, or Source, or Guru—whomever, so that you may find the real movement and ease to open up your life!

I am not saying that you can’t have intentions, goals or plans.  I am just saying to give their outcomes to Soul, GOD, or Guru and let the Divine work out the details, even if the details and the timing are not what you EXPECTED!  This is how you free yourself to develop the habit of happiness in this everyday world.

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html   , 2014.

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NOTHING!

July 22, 2014

 

Right now, just go into meditation.  Then ask your heart what it really wants.

Does it want love, kindness, acceptance, companionship, financial security, fame, goodness for your loved ones, world acceptance of peace with a way out this craziness of terrorists and terrorism?

Now, keep going—I mean really going.   And what do you find next?

Is it “nothing”?  Is it, “I can’t think of anything else”?

Well, if so, just relax in that.  That is what your heart really, really wants—the experience of vast, never-ending “NOTHING.”

I know that sounds like an oxymoron (opposites), but in fact, that is all there is to say, do, and have in the end.  It is that sacred Nothingness that is the source of all power, peace and satisfaction.  That is your way to shuniya—pure neutrality in which all IS, where there is no longing, no separate pieces, no warm or cold.  It all just IS!

That, my Dear is the experience of pure Love, expansion and the fluid, creative flow.  That is the essence of all that is and all creative potentiality.  There is no need and no desire.  There is never a ruffle of feeling any kind of lack, no matter what that might be.  There is only full and flowing fullness.  This is beyond care because all care for us, everyone and everything flows from this Source.  There is no need—only stillness.

How amazing that stillness is.  There is not even a question of satisfaction, or being loved or supported.  It just IS.

That my Sweet One, is the experience of pure LOVE!  It is pure flow.  It is the experience of the authority of the ONE.  There is no need for worry, or anger, or pride or shame of any kind because all just is this amazing fabulous flow that has no words, only the experience of KNOWING.  That is knowing way beyond words.  But in describing it, you might say that you know that everything is taken care of.  Every action, every situation is perfect no matter how difficult or crazy it might seem from our worldly way of understanding.

That my Dear is the effect of Pure Peace and it lies within. 

It is usually caged underneath all of our worries and supposed shortcomings and shortsightedness.  But here you experience all as you and you as ALL, which of course is the Truth!  And all is totally full, transforming and taken care of.  Nothing is lost and nothing is gained, yet it all keeps moving!

Now, use your Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html strongly and let your awareness melt hugely, way down into your own heart and see what happens.  Do it for a little while to get the full experience.  Now, do you find this to be the experience of Truth? 

This is your refuge, what you seek that is already “here.”  This is your Truth and Who You Are!  Ever, ever relate to this knowing, like having the greatest secret in the world right there in your own pocket.  Visit it often and then carry it around in the background of your awareness.  Dump all of your hurts and misgivings into it.  Let them be kindly eaten and digested by that built-in “garbage disposer.”   And as you do, let yourself change and become the Real You.

If you keep up, you will find that that expansive awareness, that knowing, that realization and flow will then actually abide in the forefront of your experience after a while.  And when it does, then you will feel like you are riding on a cloud where you are observing this world and all of its shenanigans in a way that does not snare you into its soap opera.  Rather you will be amazed at the continuing show of push and shove that moves along at its own pace.

But in that you will see how balance, transformation and evolution are accomplished so beautifully and naturally, even in the toughest and meanest of circumstances.  You will just have a deep feeling of awareness and understanding with no blame, but only wonder at how karmas and the God Force keep the whole thing moving so brilliantly and apparently effortlessly. 

Creation is the God’s gift to Itself!  Creation is the experience that the God puts on for Its own benefit, and we are just the God experiencing the wonder of it all! 

Hallelujah!

(Actually, Soul just told me all of these words to write.  And so now, just drop into this experience for yourself and see what happens!  Experience the Wonder right there in your own “home” of consciousness, your own heart!)

 

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html  ,  2014.

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Your Inner Ego-Maniac

July 15, 2014

 

For years you have felt so squashed, so alone, so under-recognized—just doing your best to do your work and relationships, and to keep up.  That may be in your family, your job, your community, and so on.  But then you get a promotion that included leading people and making important decisions.

Ah, what a breath of fresh air!  You are finally recognized.  People value you and what you do!  This makes you feel so confident in yourself! You are invincible!

So, now you find that you have the freedom to impose your sensibilities on so many situations and on others.  After all, it has been proven all around that you have the undeniable authority now.  You have the position, so people are listening to you and have to respect you.  Then it becomes pretty clear to you that it is your “duty” to lead by your orders, however they are delivered—that is with or without their explicit permission, and you choose the course that their actions should take rather than seeking consensus.  Ultimatums are employed whether veiled or not, also commands, gruff tone of voice, and more are used without thought of repercussion.  After all, you are in charge!

Or perhaps you are getting more emotional satisfaction and other perks with your newfound power, such as having people serve you, be your “Yes” men and women, enjoying their praise and approbation of you and more because “You THE Man/Woman” now, and it is so titillating to enjoy this kind of recognition after having been so “dry” of such “support” or recognition over such a long time.  You may feel that you have been starving for it!

The recipients of your leadership put up with this kind of treatment because after all, you have been recognized somehow to be their leader and they have to respect that or else….  Privilege is yours.

I have seen such a fountain of grace turn into a full blown ego-maniac with this kind of devolution!  I have seen those of the very best intentions and abilities turn into dictators rather than leaders from the heart and consciousness. 

Woops! 

This is the Inner Ego-Maniac that has finally come out to play and enforce its notoriety as well as its will.

Moving up the proverbial ladder of success and acclaim can be a really tricky affair, especially if you are not prepared for it!  And if you are not careful, you can add lots of pain and suffering for others, as well as for your own dear Consciousness if you lean towards the Inner Ego-Maniac licking its wounds and enforcing its stripes.

So, Dear One, here are a few tips on how to handle your promotions and recognition:

1.        Immediately side-step your Inner Ego-Maniac by being absolutely grateful to those who have recognized you, to the God that has given you this opportunity and pray that you will truly serve from the heart.

2.       Be kind to and care for everyone in your trust.  Treat them as human—God’s Light with wonderful creativity and ability that may go towards the group goal as it is fostered by you and by others.  Create guidance, listening, opening of minds and hearts, and the great connection of kindness and community among those in your care.

3.       Dissuade all gossip or any putting down of anyone or anything in your care or even those outside your sphere of influence.  Concentrate on the good at hand, and kindly curtail that which will eat away that group connection like termites.

4.       Kindly assume the position of leadership or power as it serves all, with absolute humility, humor, groundedness and commitment to serve.  Remember, even though you are heading up a project, group, etc, in fact you are promoting the whole community thriving and being connected from the ground up.  You are the support, not the pinnacle.

5.       On the other hand, never accept being placed on a pedestal, no matter how tempting that may seem.  Stay totally tuned into Soul in this very precarious balancing situation.  If you fall off the pedestal, it is a very long way down.

6.       Encourage individual and group excellence through every avenue that you can think of or that people suggest to you, and especially what Soul leads you to.  Always acknowledge Soul as your impeccable leader and never miss an opportunity to follow Its direction.

7.       Do not fold when the going gets tough!  Do your meditations for Fear Eradication www.SoulAnswer.com/fear_eradication.html and hang onto Soul for dear life!  Remember, you are there to serve, so don’t run away when a challenge arises.  That is when you are actually needed.

8.       Humble, humble, humble; strong, strong, strong.  This combination may seem like an oxymoron (opposites), but I assure you, it is the only way to be, and it happens when you are in the Soul Space!  www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html .  Daily sadhana is a must!

9.       Rejoice in the opportunity to serve more and more from your heart and Soul to their heart and Soul!  And trust, trust, trust your connection with the Infinite—Soul, the true Connector!  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .

Now, no doubt you have many more ways to relax that unfulfilled Inner Ego-Maniac from doing damage as you carry out your leadership or recognized power.  I hope that you can add them here.  We all need the best leadership that can possibly become available in these days of change to the new Aquarian ways.  So, please be thoroughly Conscious so that you may live your own Destiny in the great development of this great Age as it unfolds through each one of us!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

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TRUST OR DIE!

July 8, 2014

 

This past Friday, Independence Day here in the States, I had the great privilege of teaching Yogi Bhajan’s Tratakam www.SoulAnswer.com/tratakam.html at 3HO’s cozy International Women’s Camp here in Espanola, NM.  With this ancient gazing meditation into the Master’s eyes in this very special photo, you can ask your questions, and he will actually answer them in your mind.  Yes, it is true!

 I found the class’ answers most extraordinary.  A number of them had done this class with me last year at the same place, so they had some perspective on how Yogi Bhajan’s direct guidance had directly affected their lives over the past year.

One lady reported that last year she was so frightened about where she should live.  She has international origins, so the whole world was open to her, which made the whole decision process overwhelming, plus there were financial challenges thrown in as well. 

During last year’s Tratakam, Yogi Bhajan told her that he would take care of her, that she would be under his care.  But because of her past history, she had a hard time believing this, and so she remained in terror even though Yogi Bhajan kept saying that he would take care of her—even live on his land!  Now after this whole year, on Fri. she reported that she had just moved to Espanola, NM, where Yogi Bhajan’s home and Ranch are located!  All this had a huge emotional impact on her, and on the rest of us as well.  As long as we follow the Master, our Soul or any of our Guides—Yogi Bhajan, Guru Ram Das, Adi Shakti, and Baba Siri Chand, we will definitely be led step by step.  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .  We will be taken by our proverbial hand and shown the way one step at a time.  True!

This method of following the direction for our life bit by bit from the most incredible guidance there could ever be—“from above” is such an amazing trip if we follow it!  It calls for us to let go of “conventional wisdom” to rather listen and TRUST to the very best guidance there ever could be!

As you may know, I am a recovering workaholoic.  So, last Friday, even though it was a holiday, I asked Yogi Bhajan how I should get this next leg of our vision developed.

You know what he told me?  He said to “Rest and Relax.  Go see a movie!  This vision will come just when I need it.  Get ahead by relaxing!”  So, there you are—my own personal challenge to trust!  But I have seen this work out before, over and over again, not only for me, but also for the thousands of folks that I have counseled using the guidance that comes from Soul and our Guides.  It always amazes me, but then again I am constantly learning the same lessons, such as “Let go and let God!” just the same as everyone else.

There is no need to walk on a bed of coals to manufacture fear and challenges to be worked on in this life.  We have them thrown at us everywhere we turn.  The question is, can we actually let go of the way that we have always thought that the world works and so change how we approach our passage through it?

I am finally coming to the conclusion that nothing that I know will sustain me—that is nothing except my sadhana and my total ease and reliance on Soul and my Guides.  If I am rigid in my way of thinking and acting, then Divine Mother, Adi Shakti, who is the Creative Force of this Earth plane cannot create the track of seeming miracles to easily slide along on.  If I don’t let go and let God, if I don’t follow the guidance that I am given to the best of my ability, then I miss the very “magic” of this life.  I actually squander my life by relying on ideas of what doesn’t work and repeat those same  emotions and feelings that are so very horrifying over and over again.  Yikes!

When I pull back and look at this whole picture, “Why,” I ask myself “would I ever want to constantly subject myself to the quicksand that arises from old ideas and emotions that only suck me down?”

I have a wonderful friend who has been faced with a ton of financial pressure.  When she asks Soul what to do about this monster of a challenge, Soul’s reply is always to EXPAND.  That means doing good Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html and to relax into trusting Soul!

But of course, the mind’s conditioned response is always, “if you relax and don’t worry, everything will fall down around your shoulders.  You will lose your house, you will be out on the street, you will lose your job, and on and on.  Why should I listen to Soul?  It doesn’t have a body.  It doesn’t know that I need shelter, money, etc.!”

And yet, when she does do Heart Breath to change her very Consciousness to one of being neutral and just simply following Soul and/or her guides, when she does expand, that is when the “magic” can and does occur.  That is when she takes the brake off Divine Mother’s Creative Force to work in her favor.  Imagine!  It is we who hold back our love, support, ingenuity and amazing happenstance that so easily flows when we quit hanging onto our fear and our lock step ideas of how things SHOULD happen.  Instead, trust, trust, trust the Almighty to figure our life out and then supply what we need, and when we need it in the most surprising ways.

So, when my friend finally had nowhere else to go in her fear, she let it all go, she expanded as Soul had instructed, and guess what?  She happened to meet her banker serendipity at a local store.  They began talking and then he helped her get her mortgage in order so that she is now freed up from that pain and suffering!  Then gratitude helps to imprint this habit in our Consciousness.  Why suffer over and over again when the answers are actually so simple?

Listen carefully to Soul and our Guides who know tons more than we do.  Trust, Trust, Trust as you let go and let God!  I suppose this is what is behind the traditional spiritual value of non-attachment, but in my view I am calling this the key to a really genuine life of ease, prosperity, adventure and happiness!

Are you up for this?  Put aside your fears—“Gobinday, Mukunday….” Is great for breaking the old ways www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html .  Then jump aboard the Soul Train.  See you there!

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com

 

Copyright:  Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

You have permission to reproduce this article either in print or online as long as you keep the copyright large and closely associated with the article.

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VAMPIRES!

July 1, 2014

 

Yep!  Vampires.  

Not the gory fictional, blood-sucking kind, but  those very real self-serving folks who suck your life essence, your emotions, your self-esteem, your relationships and genuine connections, your highest aspirations, your reputation, your friends’, family’s and children’s minds, your money, and your goods.  Those vampires do this either consciously or unconsciously or a combination of both.  They may tear down anyone or anything to gain supremacy.   Their habits often arise from a deep sense of their own victimization or fear leading to their need to be the top dog or to take what you have by manipulating, controlling or destroying you/or and those associated with you.

You may sometimes have difficulty identifying them because they are often cloaked in various costumes such as being extremely needy for your compassion, or being the best, most powerful or most popular, or your best friend or supporter, your greatest authority, etc.   And they may genuinely do good things for you and others, but there is this other side—that dark shadow side to look out for. 

Groups may also be vampires preying on individuals or other groups—as often happens in politics and organized religion.

But let’s start by saying that a really healthy and supportive relationship or situation is one that is honest—no matter what, is based in pure integrity, and springs from true neutrality where your Soul’s spontaneous creativity, Truth, love, heart to heart connections, non-attachment and respect pervade your life.  It supports your constant flow of love, dedication to Soul’s voice within, your best work and personal evolution, pure fun, true relaxation, and prosperity.

And it is up to you in your most close association with your best Beloved, your Soul to discern the difference!  www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html

Now as you read this, please do not go into anger, blaming or judging.  If you have fallen prey to any of these relationships, please deeply forgive them from your meditative core—not necessarily for the vampire’s benefit because return karma will eventually show them their errors, but rather to dissolve the cords that have tied you to participating in this kind of behavior.  And to complete the process, deeply forgive yourself for accepting this behavior in your life—whether consciously or unconsciously because your acceptance of it is sourced in your own feelings of lack or insecurity.

Next follow the “Solutions” given in each section, and be grateful that your eyes have been opened so that things may be put aright and you have become aware so that you don’t let it happen again in the future.  Then ask your Soul for guidance on how to heal whatever it is in you that makes you a target for vampire behavior.

So, let’s take a look at a few categories of vampires. 

ENERGY VAMPIRES

These are the ones who actually pull on or steal your energy either for their own purpose or to take you down, or both at the same time.

I remember a “healer” that I briefly hosted at my healing center a long time ago who was known for his great group healings.  After his group healing, everyone else was in very high spirits, but I was exhausted.  I later learned that he had a reputation for stealing other healers’ energy and then refocusing it to the group as though it had all come from him! 

Solution: In this case, as soon as you realize what is happening, demand that the other person quit—this can be done non-verbally, and you can call in Baba Siri Chand to protect you.  www.SoulAnswer.com/baba_siri_chand.html .  You can also use this in cases of others projecting darkness on you or consciously stealing your energy.  (This actually used to be called “spells”).

Low Energy that Drains You

You may be aware that when you are around very low energy or complaining people, or crowds of people, or people in need of lots of healing such as in hospitals you may find your energy being pulled out of you. 

Solution:  Send Heart Breath Healing Energy www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html  to them to support their healing and changes for the better.  One Soul Answer Tribe member likes to imagine shooting “paint balls” of energy neutrally to their hearts.  Allowing your pure energy to continually expand has its own protection built in.  Then you can send your prayers to Guru Ram Das for the other people’s support as you also ask that you not be drained.

 If these happen to be people that you have to be around every day, such as those you work with or your family, please do Heart Breath, ask Baba Siri Chand to take care of them and you, and if need be, create appropriate boundaries around the times, places and under what conditions you can be in contact with them.  Also, be sure to take time to ground yourself by sending all your energy right into the center of Mother Earth/Adi Shakti where you can actually feel her, recharge with good food, rest, relaxation, sadhana and meditation and deep conscious forgiveness.  And do get out into Nature!  Blaming and judging will definitely drain you like a leaky faucet.

RELTATIONSHIP VAMPIRES

These are people and even institutions that seek to get ALL of you for themselves to get your adoration, allegiance, your power, your love, and so on.  They do this by putting down others in your life such as your partner, your family members, your other friends, the true guidance that you get from your Soul, the ideas and practices that give you real connection, love, support, and so on.

You might find this happening as they tell you amazingly bad stories about your loved ones, or in your weak moments they might listen to and amplify your doubts or frustrations concerning your loved ones.  They might subtly teach you nasty ways of relating to or talking to your family and friends.  They might use their imagined authority to negatively judge the precious ones and situations in your life, and so much more.  The idea is to separate you from your relationships and connections for their sake rather than to ease you through the challenges.  The last thing they want is to share you with your loved ones—even if that vampire rarely sees or talks to you, or they drop you for periods of time.  They definitely don’t want you to build strong love with others, or supportive understanding and kind power in your life that might not accept their destructive control over you.  Or they simply may want to see your happiness destroyed!

Or they might put you down at every turn so that your love and opinion of yourself may be greatly damaged.  They seek to separate your from yourself/Self.  If you accept their ploys, you lose yourself/Self.  

And in all these cases, that vampire may also be feeding you good things and apparent kindness so that they may become your primary source of reward or happiness.  The problem is that as you fall for this relationship with the vampire, you only become their puppy, their servant or slave.  Your personal integrity, love, and truth fly out the window in these warped relationships as you are sucked dry to only become a confused, angry or empty shell.  You can see this very obviously in a high school-type clique or “posse”.

Solution:  “If you can’t see God in all, you can’t see God at all.” Yogi Bhajan.  Understand that if you are involved in this kind of relationship, you are being given a great challenge to heal your own neediness and insecurity.  To heal and transform yourself, put your reliance on Truth, that is the wisdom from your Soul, then work to transform your committed relationships to love and great connection, rather than living from your emptiness where you would be susceptible to a vampire.  Be grateful that you have recognized this debilitating habit of being the vampire’s victim and seek to change it.  Use any strategies to help you from www.SoulAnswer.com/kriyas.html and from www.SoulAnswer.com/wisdom_marketplace.html . Make it clear to your vampire that you will not put up with their putting down your loved ones, even if you find them exasperating at times.  This is primary.  And if they won’t let go, then drop them, even of the good stuff they offer.  You can’t chance your family and friends’ relationships on this vampire’s actions.

 

Sneaky Ego

Now, here’s another possibility.  Others may attach themselves to you because they want to be associated with your charisma, your wealth, power, good will or love.  They may want to please you and follow your every move, dress and talk like you, and more.

Solution:  As soon as you recognize this, help them connect with their own Soul Source and to stand grounded on their own two feet.  You can still be friends, but never make demands on them just so they can win your favor or approval.  Carefully watch out for your creeping needy ego that may crave this co-dependent relationship.

Abusive Relationships

On the other hand, it may be your partner or family member who is the truly abusive one.  If there are lapses in which one partner torments or injures the other, or hurts the children, and then you make up for a while, but the scenario continues to be played out again and again over time, then you really need to remedy that!  This can be a never ending, destructive game that has a huge debilitating impact on the family.

Solution:  Realize that if you or your children are the victims of this kind of most hurtful behavior, you must first realize that and then quit your participation in it.  That may be as simple as stop playing the victim who salves the victimizer’s wounds to allow the next round to begin.  It may mean getting professional therapeutic help for both of you, or even calling the police.  Or it may simply be getting out of that place of abuse, such as your house when the victimizing begins—keep your car keys and cell phone on you.  Or in unsolvable cases, it may mean moving out and quitting the relationship entirely.

Relationships with Victims

There are some folks whose whole identity is locked into being a victim.  You can see lots more about this behavior at www.SoulAnswer.com/peace.html .  They are habitually invested in using their victim stories to get your pity, your protection, your compassion and so much more.  You feel so guilty if you don’t give into them.  Now I am not talking about those who truly need your good help for a while and do benefit by it.  Please pay attention to them and help them out of their difficulty.  Now I am talking about those who no matter how much you give them, they continue to need so much more—unending.  As you continue your relationship with them, eventually you will find that they have framed you as their victimizer as well, even if you have given them everything.

Solution:  When you finally become positive that this person will not transform out of their victim mode, please send them your Heart Breath for their own healing, let them know that you cannot continue with them in the same way, and do what can be done to turn them over to professionals who can take charge such as a therapist or psychiatrist.  And ask Guru Ram Das to watch over them.  Also remember this for yourself and others--what you complain about the most is usually what you are most guilty of yourself. 

MONEY, TIME AND GOODS VAMPIRES

The Con Artist or Confusion Game

You may have come in contact with those who will do their best to con you out of your money, time and goods.  They may take the form of con artists who will promise you the moon if you just give them this “little amount” now.  Or they may just bring honest, innate confusion to the table and lose track of things along the way.

Solution:  Beware and don’t take the bait.  Be fair and honest in your dealings and schedule a time table of successive small amounts for the completion of commiserate exchange so that the whole process does not get out of balance.  If they are not agreeable to this, then don’t get involved.  Take responsibility for your end of the bargain to keep everything on track.

The Victim

Again, check out the “Relationship with Victims” situation as described above. 

Solution:  From the beginning, map out what you can and cannot give, or what kind of exchange you can offer and stick to it.   For instance, if you suspect that someone is actually an habitual victim, you may not want to invite them to live in your home because when your welcome has worn off, it is really difficult to get the victim to move to their next location.  Also in similar situations, be sure to create the structure for your giving—such to define what amount of time, money or goods, for what length of time, whether your agreement is renewable, and what exchange can be offered—all with deadlines.  Then be sure to include what the consequences when previously agreed upon conditions are not met on time.

Now of course, you can use these giving opportunities to truly expand your own limits, but be very straight about maintaining your center and your integrity all ‘round.  Listen closely to your Soul with its often surprising guidance on how to proceed. 

Then love, love, love and stick with your reasonable agreement to keep the whole thing clear and reliable, no matter what happens!  Maintain your grace and your integrity, Dear One.  This yet another step in how you become Whole!

 

Lots of Love,

Siri-Gian Kaur

www.SoulAnswer.com  

 

Copyright, Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/strategies.html , 2014.

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